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Bothersome Comment

angelfire02angelfire02 member
in Secondary IF

Hello Ladies,

I am mainly a lurker on this board but this weekend I got my first comment that really bothered me and I don't know where to post about it.  Long story short, when I had my twins in May I had to have an emergency hystorectomy.  These were my first two babies and we had plans to have at least one or two more, so needless to say I am still devastated about it.  I was away this weekend with some friends and I got a massage.  The massage therapist was talking to me a lot (grrr I wanted to relax!) about her kids and her struggles to get pregnant.  She has three kids but her last two are 17 years apart.  I told her that I had twins and she started asking if we were going to have more.  I said I wasn't sure just to try to end the conversation and not get into everything.  She then proceeded to go on and on about how she thinks that everyone should experience pregnancy at least twice and women who don't are missing out on so much.  She said it was even more important for me to have another pregnancy because she was sure my first one was just awful (it wasn't at all). She went on and on about all the great things about being pregnant and how great it would be for me to have two kids when I was pregnant again and how helpful my twins would be with a new baby. When she paused to take a breath, I quickly just said to her "I can't get pregnant again without the uterus that they had to take from me when I had my twins."  At this point she looked shocked but instead of apologizing - I guess that is all I would have been able to think to do - she just told me that at least I had two and I should be grateful for them. 

She got a very small tip. 

Sorry to ramble, I'm just struggling more than I usually do today. 

Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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Re: Bothersome Comment

  • gault530gault530 member
    How awful and certainly no relaxing. I wouldn't have tipped at all. I'm sorry.
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • cislebride07cislebride07
    I'm sorry you had that experience.  Some people are so insensitive.
    Dx PCOS Three cycle of Clomid- BFN HSG- clear 6/09-Follistim and HCG IUI on 7/7/09 BFN 7/09- Follistim and Ovidrel IUI on 8/11/09 BFP! beta #1-342 beta #2-717 Joey was born on 5/5/10 Trying for #2 since 6/12 6/12- Gonal F and Ovidel IUI on 7/10. BFN 8/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel. IUI on 8/10. BFN 9/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel IUI BFN 10/22 Gonal F, Menopur, Ganirelex 11/4 trigger 11/6 ER 14R 10F 11/11 ET transferred one 4AA embryo beta 11/20! BFP Betas stop multiplying . m/c at 5 weeks moving on to FET if my numbers ever get back to 0!
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  • jeannaqueenajeannaqueena member
    ugh. totally horrible. I am so sorry your relaxing session turned so sour.  
    TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
    BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
    3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
    TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
    BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP 
    Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
    Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
    Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
    Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
    Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
    Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie
    Miracle Surprise BFP, EDD 10-1-15; saw HB great Betas, 11weeks lost baby MC at home
    Moved forward with FET transfered solo frostie on 6-4-15, beta 1: 315, beta 2: 738, u/s showed one baby on track EDD 2-21-16
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  • flows912flows912 member
    Wow. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Maybe this will teach her not to be such a chatterbox next time and she totally deserved the small tip.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    MPZ born June 2011
    TTC #2 ... Cycle 1-3: IUI = BFN | Cycle 4: IVF ... canceled but 3 snow babies
    Cycle 5: FET .. BFP! | EDD - 3/15/2014
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  • suzie711suzie711 member
    Wow, people are so insensitive and nosy :( I'm sorry you had to deal with that ... I wouldn't have left a tip at all ..
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Dx: Hypothalamic Amennorhea (Unexplained) DS #1: IVF #1 - Born: 3/15/10 TTC #2: FET Cycle #1: BFP 11/4/12(HPT) - Beta #1: 61.8 Beta #2: 60 :( Beta #3: 14 Natural M/C FET Cycle #2: ET: 2/13/13, BFP 2/20/13 (HPT) - Beta #1:9dp5dt(2/22/13) - 93.1 - Beta #2:12dp5dt - 543
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  • AprilDrew04AprilDrew04 member

    I would call and tell her supervisor that she needs to talk less.  That although you understand she was being friendly, that her chatter was unintentionally offensive and made for a very un-relaxing massage.  Maybe they will offer you a free massage to make up for it.

    Some people just will never understand what it means to not have the choice to have another baby.  Even my DH does not understand my want/need to have another baby.  I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this and feel free to join in on this board anytime you want.  We all can understand to some degree what you are feeling. 

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    DD conceived after 3 years of ttc.
    MFI - DH had varicocele repair and took Clomid to get DD b. 02/2010

    TTC #2 since 6/2010
    10/2012 DH diagnosed with Epilepsy
    A few failed IUIs summer 2012 and 2013. 
    DH taking clomid and waiting to see if he needs another vericocele repair. 
    Hoping for a 2015 baby or babies. 
    Wishing, hoping, waiting.


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  • SigmundsGirlSigmundsGirl
    imageAprilDrew04:

    I would call and tell her supervisor that she needs to talk less.  That although you understand she was being friendly, that her chatter was unintentionally offensive and made for a very un-relaxing massage.  Maybe they will offer you a free massage to make up for it.

    Some people just will never understand what it means to not have the choice to have another baby.  Even my DH does not understand my want/need to have another baby.  I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this and feel free to join in on this board anytime you want.  We all can understand to some degree what you are feeling. 

    I totally agree with April. I'd talk with a supervisor. Sorry you had such a bad experience.

    Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
    18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
    BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10

    TTC #2 since Dec 2011
    BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12

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  • angelfire02angelfire02 member
    Thank you so much for your support and comments.  I would totally call and report her to a supervisor but she owns her own buisness.  I just know better for next time.  Thanks again.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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