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mixed reactions from family

emg2010emg2010 member
in 1st Trimester

I've told both my parents and my in-laws that I'm pregnant. When my in-laws found out they were beyond excited. This is their first grandchild so I expected them to be very excited. Since they found out, they have been so happy and helpful.

 When I told my parents they were happy but not that excited. It's not their first grandchild but I hoped for a little more excitement. Since then they have been somewhat strange about it. When I talk to my mom  and tell her I'm feeling sick, she will ask me why? Since we told them early I asked her to keep it a secret for now. It's almost like she doesn't want to talk about it at all. She asked me the other day if I was still pregnant? I don't know why but that hurt my feelings. I know it's only the beginning but I was hoping for a different reaction from my parents especially my mom. Right now I'm feeling more of a connection with my in-laws than with my parents.

 

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Re: mixed reactions from family

  • mben1119mben1119 member
    Unfortunately, no one is going to be as excited about your pregnancy as you are. Maybe the further into your pregnancy you get, the more excited she'll become.
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  • courty625courty625 member
    I also had an unexpected reaction from my mom. I'm her only child so this will be their first grandchild as well. She said she was happy, but kept making comments like "we'll just wait and see" or "when we know for sure". I know she is being cautious because of the risks, I just expected her to be way more excited... Like my dad was who was jumping up and down. My in-laws were so excited, & this will be their 13th grandchild!! My mom has come around and is talking about it and seems more excited, hopefully your mom will do the same!! 
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  • Boo0512Boo0512 member

    I can totally see why your mother's reaction/question would hurt your feelings, I'm sorry to hear that. I know if my mother reacted that way I would be hurt too.  

    Even though my DH and I have not announced our pregnancy, I have a feeling that my situation might be similar.

    This will also be my in-laws first grandchild and my FIL has been hounding my DH as to when we are going to have a baby.

    My parents have 3 granddaughters and 1 grandson so it isn't the same to them. I know my mom will be pretty excited but my dad and I are in business together and I'm assuming that he will be concerned about how my being pregnant/having a child will affect our business. He is also the type of person that is STRESSED out all the time and takes other people's stresses and puts them on himself.

    I hope it gets better for you! Good luck.

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  • kristifavkristifav

    When I told my sister yesterday she was a total *** about it.  My mother pretty much forced her to get on the phone, at which point she told me she didn't really have time to talk.  I told her I was pregnant and she said she figured since Mom was talking "baby baby baby."  Our conversation lasted about a minute.

    At first I was pissed, but I figure it's her deal, not mine.  Like others have said, maybe she'll be be excited later in the pregnancy.  If not, oh well!

     

    EDIT - sorry, didn't know I couldn't say that word - but you can imagine!

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  • laurenann82laurenann82
    I feel like my Mom won't be that excited either. Not for any reason, just because she's not very interested in other people. She's pretty self-centered. So I think she'll go through the motions of "Wow, that's great, congratulations" and then go back to talking about herself.
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  • rosebud12582rosebud12582

    I am so sorry that your mom reacted like that, it's a shame that she isn't more excited for you.  Do you think that maybe she (or one of your siblings w/ kids) could have had a miscarriage that you don't know about?  I feel like that would explain her asking you if you were still pregnant, and being cautious about being excited.  I don't know her or the situation, so that is just a possibility that popped into my mind...

    Hopefully as you progress and she can see you showing and see ultrasounds that will make it more real for her and she will get excited.  Good luck and CONGRATS!!!!  We are all excited for you on here. :-)

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  • AimeeSue02AimeeSue02 member

    imagelaurenann82:
    I feel like my Mom won't be that excited either. Not for any reason, just because she's not very interested in other people. She's pretty self-centered. So I think she'll go through the motions of "Wow, that's great, congratulations" and then go back to talking about herself.

    THIS!! My mom is very self-centered. My wedding was about her you know? What dress should SHE wear, how's HER hair. Im not a person who likes to be the center of attention so I let it go. I'm sure it will be the same about my pregnancy - shell have conceived it for me some how. 

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  • ILoveSnacksILoveSnacks member

    I'm sorry!  My parents were super weird about it -- mom just kept saying "I'm so surprised" and dad said literally nothing. He just sat there, eating silently.  I think my parents are just kind of weird in general, truthfully.

    Baby girl born 5/20/13. Figuring it out as we go. :)
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  • jenny1980jenny1980 member
    Some people are leery of celebrating a pregnancy before the end of the first trimester just out of cautiousness. Hopefully that's all that's going on here and your parents will be more jazzed later!
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  • Crook251Crook251 member
    I can totally understand how you feel. The first minute or so my dad was kinda freaked about it, but he quickly came around and was super excited he kept saying I'm going to have a granddaughter(remind you i'm only 8 weeks and don't know the sex of the baby yet). My brothers are really protective of me so I knew what to expect from each one of them.  One was stoked and the other was like whatever. My oldest brother lives 19 hours away so I'm going to call and tell him.  My mom literally walked away upset and In disbelief. When she came back my dad kindly addressed her behavior and after an hour or so she came and said congratulations. I figured my mom would respond the way she did because that's just her. Regardless, it felt like a ton of bricks lifted off my chest when I told my parents. Now I can focus on enjoying this pregnancy and trying to be healthy, stress and drama free.

     Married: Decemb    er 19, 2009
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