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December 2011 Moms
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Conflicted (NBR)

KScheibe12KScheibe12 member
in December 2011 Moms
We moved to a new apartment this weekend. My BIL and his girlfriend helped us move. She has a 5 year old son who came over too and I had childcare duty while everyone else moved stuff (no complaints here!) At the end of the day, we all went over to the new apartment with one final load. I found out that BIL's girlfriend's son whipped open their car door and left an enormous dent in the car next to them (I'd say it was at least 2 inches in diameter). I forced BIL to leave a note because I don't want that to come back on us and we end up being liable somehow. He was super pissed that I made him leave a note because they're financially strapped right now but I feel like it was the right thing to do. Now I'm feeling bad about it because a) they don't have a lot of money - but neither do we, that's why we moved b) I don't want them to go home and yell at the kid. He's 5 and it was an accident but its still right to leave a note. I dunno... I'm just feeling really bad about it now...
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Re: Conflicted (NBR)

  • iluvmylabiluvmylab member
    If they have insurance, it should pay for the damage.  It was the right thing to do to leave a note, however, I probably would have minded my business and stayed out of it because I would be too chicken to say anything.
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    IMO, they are liable for it even though it was an accident by the 5yo should the people who own the vehicle choose to have it fixed even if you live in a "no fault" state.  As for b, how is the kid going to learn?  Sometimes Mom & Dad need to be Mom & Dad with one trial learning which may be a simple "honey we don't do that" or it could be "<yelling> we don't bang our car door hard into other people's doors because it causes a dent and costs a lot of money to repair!" depending on what works best for that particular child.  Such that the 5yo's thought is "Mom & Dad got really mad when I slammed the car door into someone else's car causing $350 in damage (dent removal and repaint/color match), maybe I shouldn't do that ever again!"...  I know it seems like a stretch at this age, but sometimes kids need to be yelled at by their parents.  Five isn't two or three. 
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  • HisKonstantineHisKonstantine member

    I don't think you did the wrong thing. I have had my car dinged up more times and I would greatly appreciate it if someone had ever just fessed up to it. I would never ask for money for it but just an apology and acknowledgment would be appreciated.

    The child should be told that what he did was wrong. If no one tells him, he'll never know.

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