You never know (rainbow baby mentioned)

Petunia844 · October 2012

First of all I'm sorry for my lack of support lately, life has been crazy. To all of the new moms here I'm so sorry for your loss and to the ones who know me, know that I think of you all often if I am not around to show it.

i wanted to share this to offer hope to others who struggle with unsupportive family or friends. When Peyton died my in laws didn't fly out to support us, to support their son. They never told me personally that they were sorry for our loss. I have held on to a lot of resentment for their lack of support and lack of acknowledgement of our first son. They are here now to see the new baby, and MIL gave me a journal she has kept since she found out I was pregnant again. She talks about Peyton in it, she tells Raylan how they planted a tree for his brother in their yard, she talks about how they walked the same day we did in the March of Dimes. We never knew they planted a tree for him. It brought me to tears, I could finally see the love she has for her grandson, she just never knew how to tell us. I'm so glad she gave me that journal, I just wish they had opened up sooner.

i just wanted to share this because to me it's proof that people who don't know what to say or how to show their support really do care.

weddedwife · October 2012

That's really wonderful, Petunia! How touching. I know I would be moved to tears.

Oh how I wish this could happen w my MIL! Unfortunately I think it's about as likely as her entering the Tour de France...

krysiahamaty · October 2012

That is nice. I wish my in laws were the same.

Bayberry12 · October 2012

I'm so happy to hear that you finally know how they feel. I guess sometimes it does take time to deal with all of these emotions. This is really sweet.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · October 2012

This warms my heart to hear. I know so many people who don't have supportive people in their lives and every time I hear that it's family members that aren't supportive it makes me very angry. I'm sorry that you and DH had to go so long without that support but I'm so happy to hear that they finally shared that with you. Like you, I wish they would have done it sooner but it is what it is and it's wonderful that they did do that and that they do acknowledge Peyton.

Side note but so happy to see you had your Raylan (love the name too!). Hearing about rainbows gives me so much hope for the future. Wishing you nothing but happiness, peace and love.

Gabgaps · October 2012

Great story. I have learned not to judge too. Even a doctor who told me "don't cry, you will have another baby" before my son was even dead has been very caring and has kept in touch since it all happened. I think she really just wanted me to stop hurting. Also she is from Bosnia, cultural differences can play a big part too . I would know, I'm Latin and I have NO filter. Americans are a lot more politically correct and I've been in more than one situation were this shows. I have learned to assume the best first and the worst second. You are right, you never know.

jbranden12 · October 2012

I am so happy to see this! Some people grieve openly, some grieve privately. I am glad your MIL felt comfortable sharing her grief with you, even if it took almost a year.

karebear57 · October 2012

That is so sweet! You have a very thoughtful MIL. I wish they could all be like that! I'm happy she finally opened up to you!

meli1025 · October 2012

This is so sweet and I'm very happy for you that your MIL has shown her support in such a touching way. Congratulations on your rainbow baby, it gives me hope to see that. Xo

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