- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
June 2012 Moms
What would you do?
Now don't get me wrong I appreciate the help that my mil gives us, but she calls herself mommy to my dd and will jerk her out of my arms. If I tell her not to do that she will say I can do what I want this is my grandchild. I'm all up for a loving, caring grandmother for my child but I think this is a little overboard. She will call and ask to take her places and if my dh or I say no she will get mad and then not talk to us or smart off. I feel so disrespected and not sure what to say or how to handle the situation. So tired of being told that I don't know how to take care of my child. I am nothing but a loving and attentive mother to my dh.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What would you do?
My first reaction is to tell her to go take a flying leap, but honestly, the first place you have to start is with DH. Where is he on the issue? If he supports this behavior, you've got a bigger battle to fight.
If, however, he is bothered by it more or less as much as you are, I'd say it's time to start enforcing some boundaries (both of you, together). If MIL can't honor them, then she needs to take a break from babysitting/being with LO. Right now, she's got you trained to do/accept what she wants. It's time for you to bite the bullet and let her know it's your child, therefore, what you say goes. If she's not ok with that, that's her problem, not yours. Just like with kids (which she is certainly acting like here), she'll come around if she wants to spend time with LO badly enough. GL to you!
IVF #1: 9/11: ER: 12R, 11M, 10F, No Frosties; 5dt: 2 blasts, 1 morula; DD born 6/3/12
IVF #2: 11/12-12/12: ER: 20R, 20M, 16F, 4 Frosties; 5dt: 3 blasts, DS born 8/9/13
I don't even know what I would do. Having DD call her "mommy"!???? I'm so angry for you. Completely 100% unacceptable--- and then telling you that can do what she wants cause DD is her grandchild?! Nope. Actually-- the Mommy and Daddy can do what they want, NOT grandma/grandpa.
I know that you said DH has tried talking to her, but he needs to keep trying. You can only say/do so much. If MIL insists on not changing her behavior then I agree with the previous posted- maybe she needs time away from DD.
MIL should respect your wishes and she needs to understand her position/role as the grandmother not mommy! That would honestly drive me insane already. I know how you feel though. My MIL constantly tells me I'm doing something wrong with DS with even basic things such as burping, feeding, or diaper changing! I have been taking care of DS for 4 months by myself and she still thinks I don't know what I'm doing and feels the need to offer her advice.
Do you need to use MIL as your primary childcare? If both you and your husband have spoken to her to express your concerns and she doesn't understand still, I would look for alternative childcare.
Honestly, there are many gmas who act like this, but it's still creepy. She's trying to play mommy, and women like this do not see your child as a human being but as a doll (I seem to only come onto this board to make this statement). I'm not saying she would put your child's life in danger or anything, but can you really trust her to ensure she gets adequate naps and tummy time and all the developmental things you care about, or that she won't give your baby solids or whatever before you are ready?
Regardless if you EBF or FF, your babe is small and needs to be around his (real!) mom. No one should ever ask to take her away from you at this age. You offering is one thing, asking is another.
Grandparents who truly love their grandchild will respect the parents. If she acts overbearing and disrespectful toward you now, how will it be when LO is 9 and gma talks bad about your parenting in front of her? I suggest shutting her down now and minimizing her time with LO.
WHAT?!?!?!?
~Hugs~ Im sorry you are dealing with this. Calling herself mommy actually seems like she needs some sort of counseling or something. It almost seems like nothing you/DH do or say will change how she feels. She clearly doesn't understand boundaries. Good luck:)
Thank you guys, I'm glad I'm not being crazy in thinking this is way beyond right. Come to think of it I don't think she gives her the right kind of things she needs. Such as she is at the stage where everything is a chew toy and is constantly chewing on her hands. Well because she does this she will try and force feed her and yell at me telling me I'm starving her. I def. don't do that, considering the pedi will tell me what a good job I do with her. She also feed her a bottle one time that was at least 3 hours old and I told her to NEVER do that again and she laughed in my face. I've made my mind up, I think she needs time away from her!