Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Genelee5
member
I just started looking into day care for 2, $$ is crazy!! I am just wondering how many decided it was worth it to just sah and maybe pick up some night shifts somewhere or how many decided to shell out the $$ and stay at their full time jobs. Just kinda curious. TIA !!!
Re: 2u2 day care...or sahm??
I'm still working, but dropped down to PT 32hrs/week. My mom watches the kids and we also have a babysitter for a few hours in the afternoon. However I am trying to change jobs and will put the kids in DC when I go back to FT. It's going to be insanely expensive, but I think its worth it. However if I could afford to be a SAHM I would do it in a heartbeat.
In the short term, our 2u2 will cost us just under $3k/month in the center we currently use (and we just can't possibly see leaving it). But it's an investment in our future for me to continue working. In a year, 3 years, 5 years...the cost of daycare will be much smaller and I will still have increased my experience, job security, and earning potential. It is better for me, for my boys, for our family for me to continue working. I'm an engineer, so re-entering the job market after several years off would probably be tough. So yes, I will continue to work. I have actually been working 30 hours/week (off on Wednesdays) since I came back to work with my first, and I'm hoping to continue that schedule until our second is at least a year (which adds to the $$ hardship of 2u2 in daycare, but is super important to me too).
ETA: I also strongly believe my son benefits from spending time in the learning environment he is in, playing with the other kids, etc. The only way I would SAH is if we could afford to still send him to his current center 2-3 days/week. So that certainly makes the fact that (in the short term) I'm working TO pay for childcare worth it to me.
We decided for me to SAH until the kids are in school full-time.
Our household ends up making out ahead SAH even though I had a good paying middle management career before kids. I take home $200/week from waitressing 2 nights a week from 6-11pm. If I were working full time paying for full time daycare (which for quality care would run me $500 a week) plus the cost of commuting (I'd be spending an extra $60/week on gas alone)/car maintenance, dry cleaning, extra money on groceries/dinners out, etc. I would not take home $800/month.
While things like retirement savings/future earning potential are important, I calculated that overall, I would work in my career field for 44 years (assuming a retirement age of 65). That makes taking a few years off look a lot smaller in the grand scheme of things. Of course, my DH's company has a very generous match and we still put money aside from his job into 401k and I didn't work in a field where my skills would be obsolete by the time I'd want to get back to work so that all makes an impact on my decision. If I had no potential to go back to career down the road, I would probably have continued to work.
On top of the financial benefits it also helps my household run better--no one has to miss work when the kids are sick or try to figure out how to manage the kids' speech therapy schedules with their work schedules. I do all the mundane errands during the week so our weekends are filled with fun family stuff.
GL with whatever you decide!
I am due March 1st with baby #2 and my husband and I have been having the same thoughts...I am actually fortunate that right now my job lets me work two days from home and three days in office. Baby#1 is in daycare 2 days and with MIL 1 day. My issue comes with, the in-laws are moving to Florida after new baby is born, so it will now be daycare for two babies at least 3 days a week, which winds up being just under my paycheck (the daycare I use doesn't really have a separate weekly rate, and we really love her and don't want to have to change if possible). My husband is about to be a correction's officer, he is finishing the interview process and will hopefully start Academy soon, so we are going to wait to see how that salary pans out with our needs at home and make the decision then. I am a heavy duty crafter, and may be able to to have more time to make side money selling my crafts for extra income. I have had to hang back from entering craft shows while I have been working and managing the family, time has been limited.
So point being (sorry for the rant), it is all about what works for your particular situation, the questions will keep coming, but the answers will certainly follow! Good luck!!
I dropped to part time and we used a nanny because it was WAY cheaper than day care and I greatly preferred the 1:2 ratio as well as her ability to take them to go do all the things I wanted them to do like park, library, zoo, museum, etc.
Now I'm back to full time and the kids are at a great school/day care center but when they were younger (under 3 or 4) I wanted them to be able to be in their own beds and on their own schedules.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.