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Need pregnancy intimacy advice from dads or moms
So dad's to be and or dads who have been through a pregnancy with their partner. In my case i have have a heightened sex drive during pregnancy. I just can't seem to get my husband into it although when we do it is great He always says he is tired or wait another day. Being the woman i am i instantly go to the...i'm too fat, he isn't attracted to me etc. Also i have begged him for intimacy...cuddling etc. i'm not getting much of that either. I need it so bad.
Moms feel free to post if you have been through this as well.
Snarky comments go somewhere else i'm not in the mood although i enjoy humor.
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Re: Need pregnancy intimacy advice from dads or moms
My wife was not into intimacy when she was pregnant, it was summer in Southern California so she was uncomfortable, bloated and swollen.
Me, um, I was fine. She was carrying our child so she was already taking on the bulk of the work for this so I could not complain. However, if she was super frisky I probably wouldn't have been giddy.....not to be mean, but it's not the same when you're wife is showing and the baby is moving. Sex can happen sometime, but the horn dog that I married shouldn't come out....this is now the mother of my child.
One way that I was able to get into having sex with my wife when she was pregnant was planned date nights, always on weekends. We also went on an overnight babymoon to Chicago for a weekend midway through. That was really, really fun since we stayed in The Drake and I felt like a pimp!!
For me, later in the pregnancy, it was much harder for me to get in the mood. Not because I didn't want to have sex with her....I always want to have sex with her, I am a man. I was fearful that I would hurt her or the baby. But I still made sure to let her know she was beautiful, and she understood that I was just being afraid of the unknown, so to speak.
My wife also had some issues that made her pregnancy a little harder to go through. It was also summertime during one fo the hottest summers ever in Milwaukee, so that kind of distracted us to a point.
Try date night. As men we might think that it is girly, but once it starts we get into it pretty quickly. You are our wives now, but getting back to that date vibe is pretty cool.
I really don't get guys that are hard to get into the mood, but I've always been a high libido guy. You really need to talk to your husband about what his issue is. Some guys freak out about having sex with their wife when they know a baby is in there. Others may feel pressure to perform, especially since we all know pregnant women's moods can be rather... sudden and demanding. But I'm not your husband, so I'm not exactly sure what his state of mind is. It could just be stress and freaking out about money and having a baby... I really don't' know.
If he's tired from work, perhaps try playing the "Good Wife" approach... offer to get him a beer, rub his neck/back, ask him about his day, etc. Offering to give him a bj without any need to reciprocate also can work with some guys. I know that I get awfully cuddly after a good bj, although that may not take care of your own desires.
he said hard....(in my best Butthead voice)
My wife wasn't super in the mood during our first, mostly because she was so tired. However, there may be several reasons why your husband may or may not be as into sex at this current point in time. Some of them may include:
- He may be afraid he'll hurt the baby. This of course has been proven to be NOT the case, unless you have a high risk pregnancy, sex is perfectly safe. However, I've heard from multiple guys how they thought they might poke the baby or something along those lines.
- He may be having issues with the transition from wife to mom. As a wife he sees you as a sexual being, obviously... he had sex with you to get you pregnant. Now that you are with child, he's possibly viewing you in a different way than he's used to and the sexual aspect has been diminished now that you are carrying your child. It will return.
- He may actually be tired. I know I picked up a share of the load that she carried typically during our pregnancies. I don't mind it at all, as I know that she's doing a great deal in growing our sons at the time, but it does kind of push sex to the back burner.
- I'm NOT saying this is a case, but offering it as an option, depending on how far into your pregnancy you are, he just may not be as physically attracted to you. It happens to some men. Not saying he doesn't love you, or he's not attracted to you... but it happens to some people that pregnancy just isn't a turn on. Once you have your child and have had time to recoup and you both get sleep again, things will get closer to normal.
Some of these things were things I heard different dads say in my "Daddy Boot Camp" class that I took. The first two are the most prevalent in the dads who just weren't interested, but had wives who were.
I was only referring to the 8/9 month...we aren't even able to get back in the sack yet (we are 3 weeks postpartum) ...and it wasn't meant to be insulting and sad, I just wanted to be honest. If someone asks a question (and I ask them here and on other topics as well) I would want everyone to be honest with me. When my wife was 8-9 months pregnant she didn't feel sexy and even though I love her and I think she is beautiful if she didn't feel that way I took my cue from her and would not push her. AND I'm not weirded out by pregnant sex, we had sex a few times in her last trimester, but she was not grabby and frisky...it was a husband and wife being intimate, and to be honest, if it didn't happen that way, I would have noticed and probably not have been a fan.
Sorry if my honestly is too much.
For some women who troll over here it is, apparently. All of us regulars around here on OUR BOARD got what you were saying, dude.
My wife has her 7 week OB/GYN appointment tomorrow. If we get the go ahead, might be time for the LO to head over to the grandparents or auntie and uncles this weekend!!
Really????
Another woman making it all about herself in reference to a post that has nothing to do with her....
I think David was VERY CLEAR in what he was expressing. Blaming how he worded his post is lame, and making it about your own experience is even lamer, if that is possible. No one here cares if your hubby and you were banging all day everyday up to the day your baby came out.
David is dealing with something that a lot of men deal with at this point in their adjustment. Just because you are a horndog all the time does not mean anyone elsse has to be, and just because you had a different experience with your sexuality does not make anyone else's experiences less important to them.
The fact that you were "insulted" is on you, not David. He was not rude or demeaning to you most cetainly, as it was about HIS WIFE and their relationship, not you.