Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

interrupted phone calls

lookame3639lookame3639 member
in Blended Families
In our CO it says each parent has at least 15 mins of uninterrupted phone time at least 3 times a week. LO freaks out before every overnight visit so I promis I'll call one day while LO is over there LO goes EOW for two nights. This calms LO down enough to get in the car. However there is ALWAYS slack when trying to get ahold of X to speak with LO. It can take up to 4 hours of consistant asking to speak with LO before I am actually allowed and on several occasions X has responded with a flat out no you can't speak with LO and I am left unable to speak eith LO for the entire weekend. On those weekends LO comes back asking why I don't want him anymore and asking why I want to give him up.

Anyway I've gotten used to wjen I get to speak with LO on the ohone that X stands right next to him and has me on speakerphone. When I ask any questions X answers and all LO is allowed to say is hi to me. X also has LO stay where there is the most distractions as well and more than one occasion X has hung up while LO and O were speaking. The most disturbing is when Xs SO yells for LO and I to get the f off the phone and I left asking why we are being forced to get off the phone and not allowed to speak...

Anyway I'm curious what I should do in this situation. If I don't get ahold of LO then X tells LO how I don't love them and how I just want to give them up, when I do get to speak with LO it's consistant interference and I don't get to actually talk to them and see how their doing. I am trying to stay consistant however it's very difficult when I can't even really speak with my child. Any advice is welcome!

BTW whenever X calls I have LO sit in a reletivly quiet spot and speak with X until both are finished and either X hangs up and LO hangs up and they are allowed as much phone time as wanted . I also try to answer Xs call promptly so we don't go back and forth.
IAmPregnant Ticker}
Report Reply to Post

Re: interrupted phone calls

  • ldmessingldmessing member
    This is hard to answer not knowing how hold the children are, but Imothe daly 15 minute calls only get the child more worked up.  Can't you go a few days without speaking to the child?
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • lookame3639lookame3639 member
    LO then comes back angry I didn't call and saying I don't want him around I want to give LO up ect. LO is told horrendous things and of I don't call just to let him know that I'll be there the next day or the day after then he believes what X tells him.

    Sometimes I would go without speaking with LO but there was an incident on asuspended holiday weekend. LO was taken to the pickup spot early then brought back to Xs place to stay another night. When LO got back I was told he wanted to speak with me so I called was told they were getting him then hung up on me. It was then a battle of ne asking to speak with LO and constantly being denied. When I got LO the next day he was angry and upset and told me he was told I hate him I didn't show up because I don't want him I wish he would just die or go live with someone else ectthis is what X told my LO it took several days for LO to realize that I never said any of that. So ever since if LO asks for me to call him on Xs weekend I make an attempt to have a conversation with him.
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
    Report Reply
  • teacherjulieteacherjulie member
    I am a lurker.  A friend is going through a similar issue and her lawyer said if after 2-3 attempts she can cal the police and ask for a well check.  She did this and he has since picked up when she calls.  She ois taking him to court for other stuff but this is a part of it.
    Birthday BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • lookame3639lookame3639 member
    I didn't know I could do that...I'll check in with my attorney and ask if they think it would be ok for me to do that as well. It does worry me when I am told LO wants to talk to me then denied communication
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
    Report Reply
  • smmarco85smmarco85 member
    I have also gone through this. My husband has children with his ex wife they were here living with us for two years. During that time their mother maybe called once a month. We would have them call and leave messages for her just about every other day so that even if just hearing her voice on the voicemail would somehow possibly keep her present in their lives.

    Now that they are 1200 miles away with her, she rarely has them return our calls. Sometimes we call like ten times a day, but she just simply pushes us through to her vm. On the off chance that she has them call us back she also has them on speaker phone, and is constantly interrupting and "coaching" them on what they should be saying and shouldn't be saying. I understand the frustration with this!
    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="D
    Report Reply
  • twister22twister22 member

    imagewendilea:
    Document it all, and file contempt.  It's parental alienation.

    This, as well as what teacherjulie said. Hopefully if the police show up at his door it will scare him straight. Regardless, I would still file contempt.

    image
    Report Reply
  • Mrs.McLovinMrs.McLovin member
    imagetwister22:

    imagewendilea:
    Document it all, and file contempt.  It's parental alienation.

    This, as well as what teacherjulie said. Hopefully if the police show up at his door it will scare him straight. Regardless, I would still file contempt.

    All of this.

    Report Reply
  • NDSalesGirlNDSalesGirl

    imageteacherjulie:
    I am a lurker.  A friend is going through a similar issue and her lawyer said if after 2-3 attempts she can cal the police and ask for a well check.  She did this and he has since picked up when she calls.  She ois taking him to court for other stuff but this is a part of it.

    We may have to try this! In DH's CO it states that BM has to allow SS (age 6) to his cell phone( i know way to young) daily that DH pays for because BM refused to let SS talk to DH on her cell phone or Skype daily. The Judge flat out told BM that DH has the right to talk to SS daily. She has kept SS from us for the past 3 weeks, and the school is now calling us becuase SS is upset because he has not talked to his dad. BM said the cell phone is broken and she either has to plug the phone in or the coffee maker so She cannot charge the cell phone.

    Report Reply
  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member
    imagetwister22:

    imagewendilea:
    Document it all, and file contempt.  It's parental alienation.

    This, as well as what teacherjulie said. Hopefully if the police show up at his door it will scare him straight. Regardless, I would still file contempt.

    Yep.  Especially the contempt charges.

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"