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October 2011 Moms
aml+japan
member
Birthday hijack!
aml+japan
member
Today is L's actual birthday but DH and I are both at work so her party with us and the IL's is next Wednesday. It was orinally last week but got moved back because L was sick. I've really been looking forward to making her cake, I already did her banner and presents are wrapped and ready.
Now I just got an email from MIL saying L still has a fever...of 99.2, OMG...and they took the liberty of taking her to the doc who prescribed some kind of medicine, which they already gave her?! WTF! And her ears were all waxy so they cleaned them out. AND they bought her a cake.
I have a couple more classes to teach so I can't dwell on it right now, but I don't know what got into them. The doctor stuff is infuriating enough, but now L is having her first taste of cake without me! I know my party isn't ruined but it kind of is, for me.
Now I just got an email from MIL saying L still has a fever...of 99.2, OMG...and they took the liberty of taking her to the doc who prescribed some kind of medicine, which they already gave her?! WTF! And her ears were all waxy so they cleaned them out. AND they bought her a cake.
I have a couple more classes to teach so I can't dwell on it right now, but I don't know what got into them. The doctor stuff is infuriating enough, but now L is having her first taste of cake without me! I know my party isn't ruined but it kind of is, for me.
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Re: Birthday hijack!
Wow. I would be upset too.
I'm surprised that your pediatrician would prescribe and administer a treatment without your permission. I would assume you would have to add your ILs name onto her file or have a signed note saying they can make medical choices for your DD. Maybe have a talk with your ILs about this and let them know when they need to call and get your permission first and when they can make the decision because more serious medical issues could come up and you and them should be on the same page.
That stinks about the cake. I would be bummed too. Has she already eaten it? If they just bought it. I would call or text and ask them to not give it to her and explain why. I would hope they would be understanding.
They totally crossed a line in my book. They've already had their firsts with your DH. I think that it's time for a sit down about boundaries.
I would be upset too! If they don't have permission to see the doctor or get meds I would be furious! If they did have permission, I would change it. When I was working and Gator was in my mom's care, she had no medical paperwork other than her pediatrician's name, medical number, and phone number. That way, if she ended up in the hospital, they had it. If Gator needed to see the doctor, there is no reason why I couldnt deal with it after I got off work. Had there been a real emergency, my mom would not be able to make medical decisions.....which is fine by me because I was 15min away and she has my phone number. The EMTALA act states that a child will get medical treatment until parents are reached. So Gator would get care according to the doctors until they reach me by phone and I state how I want things. I did not feel that my mom needed medical clearance while I was in the area. However, when we went out of state and Gator was left with my sister....I gave her written medical clearance and it was dated for the time I was gone PLUS an additional three days in case for some reason we didn't get back on the day we were supposed to.
Not cool that they took her to the doctor and medicated her without clearing it with you and your H. Will he address the issue with them? I think he should tell them that unless it's an emergency they need to check with one of you before doing either of those things. And clarify what an emergency is, 'cause I feel like you've posted before about them thinking she was a lot sicker than she was? Or am I confusing you with someone else.
That really sucks about the cake. If they're the kind of people you could talk to about it, I would tell them how much you were looking forward to being there for her cake and that it was going to be homemade and done all together and all that. I'm guessing they probably already gave her the cake and you couldn't stop it. I would just pretend on Wednesday that it's her first time having cake. That's what I did when MIL put Lily in a park swing for the first time and I wasn't there. DH and I took her the next day, took photos and pretended it was her first time on the swing. I don't quite understand why they felt the need to do that, especially since they'll be at the party on Wednesday so it's not like they would miss it. I'm sorry they were so inconsiderate. I hope you can get them to see why it was upsetting and that they need to not overstep in future.
Happy birthday to L!
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
Nope, this is the first time they've done something like this. Actually when L first started feeling ill last week and her fever was 102 I did give permission for MIL to take her to the doctor because I couldn't get out of work and it was a 3 day weekend so they would've been closed till Tuesday. That's why the doctor had her paperwork, though it wasn't the pedi we usually go to. I'm sure MIL thought she was doing a good deed but she really should have asked me first, and I don't know why a doctor would prescribe something for such a low grade fever. She's only 5 days into her cold so DH and I agreed we're not going to give her anything and just let it run its course. He has to go to their house today anyway so I hope he'll say something to his mom.
As for the cake, it was these fancy cupcakes and L did have some before I arrived, but it turned out they had another cupcake with my name on it...it's my birthday today...so I couldn't really say anything.
You and L share a birthday?! That's so cool! Happy birthday, aml!
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013