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Baby Names
Pearls+Oysters
member
Baby names - Family vent...
Pearls+Oysters
member
in Baby Names
Lurker turned poster here, please be kind! 
I know I'm being over sensitive and all, but it's really getting under my skin... I need to let it out! I need confirmation that I'm not crazy!
My SO has eight, yes 8 nieces and nephews. They were ALL named a favorite name of mine. It's bad enough that our cousin is named the same as my brother, I'm not going to name my kid the same as its cousins... Furthermore, my SO and my nephew share the same first name. My niece and I share the same middle name. You get the picture... I want something that really speaks to me, that stands out, but is still traditional, classic and simple, and mostly, that isn't used within the family... That's been hard!
Some of my other favorite names have been strongly opposed by SO: one is an ex-gf's name, one is an old friend's name, another is a cousin's name, etc. I'm seriously considering naming my baby "Baby" and that's it, lol! It gets so confusing, and although I know it would be a lot easier to wait another 4 weeks to learn about the gender (hopefully), I can't help but think about names, names, names!
Have any of you gone crazy over restrictions and family traditions? Please tell me I'm not the only one, please tell me it gets better! Do you have any stories of concessions you had to make? Please share! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Baby names - Family vent...
I understand the wanting a name that isn't repeated or already in the family. In our family there are 4 Micheal, 4 Chris, 2 David, 2 Sam, 2 Paul, and a Tim and Kim, and often the middle name is passed down.
I refuse to repeat names and even the letter J as all three cousins have names that start with J; Jonathan, Jennifer, and Joshua. That bummed me out as I like Julius or Julian for a boy.
As a teacher I have a list of names that we will never ever use.
Good luck
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I know it sucks having so many taken out of the baby name pool. But you do have plenty of time. I'd say just try making lists now. You don't have too long until your a/s so then maybe once you know the sex then maybe your SO will buckle down and really work with you on a short list. DS wasn't named until I was 9 months pg. I think we're headed this way with this baby. We still have the same giant list even though I keep telling DH we need to talk names, we never do.
GL - you will find something you like.
Yup, we have a long list of restrictions. Mostly ones I put on myself.
1) Won't use any name already used in the family
2) Needs to have a nice meaning behind the name
3) Won't start with the same letter as my other children (E or H)
4) Won't end with the same sound as either children (-a for a girl or -an for boy)
5) Won't start with an L since our last name does (these are the toughest since I love L names)
6) A name DH and I both have to love (most important rule)
So far we haven't made any concessions, but it gets harder with each kid. Good luck on deciding and never settle for something you don't love!
Ah thanks for the good luck wishes, girls! Like I stated, I know I'm being ridiculous, but somehow, it's just all I can think about, along with nursery d?cor!
My previous m/c was right around this time, at 15 weeks. So I'm thinking I'm probably just trying to take my mind off of the memories... As if getting involved at a deeper level might protect the pregnancy? At least I know I'm not the only one to want something different!
Thanks for being understanding and not flaming me down for my silly worries!
I understand where you're coming from. I had a list like VT (threw #4 off obv.), and it was challenging since on my side (my dad's family) there are 40 cousins, not including their kids. And since we talk a lot and often gtg, I didn't want a duplicate ( they call attention to crap like this in such an obnoxious way. Little Sean and Big Sean is the tamest).
In the end I started going way back in family history for inspiration, and looking through things like recently registered names and other naming sites. Dh still got a huge list to go through, so did I. In the end, everyone got a first name that was strictly their own, a few share family mn. The only odd thing that came out of all this is that some family members started naming their kids with the same initials (2 same as L, and T And E). Eh, whatever.
We kept it fairly simple between us
I thought it was best to find names that had no associations for either of us. When I discovered Genevieve, I fell in love. It was a bonus that neither of us personally knew of a Genevieve and I also realized Genevieve could theoretically honor my late grandpa, who's mn was Gene. It's a loose connection, but it made the name that much more special to me. I put little significance on the meanings behind names. Flow, style and timeless appeal (they aren't babies forever) are much more important to me.
You could still have family connections without being obvious, or go completely outside of the box... but eventually you'll hit on that perfect name and the only issue will be getting your SO to agree
My BEST piece of advice is do not share your names ... you'll end up with a lot of opinions that really don't matter at the end of the day. It's hard enough to find something both you and SO can agree on. It also leaves a surprise to share with family/friends once the baby arrives.
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My family is Catholic. My dad is one of eight. My mom is one of four. My grandma is one of eleven. My mom has 67 first cousins alone. All together, I have 330 cousins (first, second, and third). So yah, I understand. Ha.
I try to focus on the meaning of the name and once a relative is outside of a first cousin, repeats don't bother me. LO2's mn will be my middle name, which is also after my grandmother (my aunt also named her deceased daughter this as a first name, etc). A line has to be drawn somewhere in such a big family, and we chose to draw it at first cousins. That being said, I wouldn't worry about middle names, family names, etc.
**Also, what names do they have/are you considered taken? If you list out the names that you consider off limits and also give us some suggestions of other names you like, we can suggest similar styles.
First off, let me just say WOAH! 330 cousins all in all, and I thought we had large families...
"Taken names" would be Oliver, Anthony, Elizabeth, Rose, Anna, Leann, Amy and Jade... I know these aren't the most original names, but it takes away other options, and I really loved some of them. Other names that are off-limits include Ren?e, Elo?se, Roxane, Leo...
As I said, it's not dramatic, but it's a little worrying when we compare lists and I realize we have zero name in common... Between his very French last name and his inability to compromise... We're screwed, I fear! :P
We do have 40 names that at least one of us likes. It's just that I'm not *loving* any of them...
It scares me...
The only restriction we have is that we both love the name.
I understand not wanting names repeated. My extended family is huge and there are several repeats.
I would wait until you know what sex the baby is, it will make it easier to focus. Honestly it took us until about 35 weeks last time to finally decide for sure what our girl name would be. Just keep looking and reading until you find something you both love.