Holiday Plan Question

dandlelyon · October 2012

I am curious if you changed your Holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, ect) plans signficantly after having LO last year. We did our same routine of traveling 2+ hours and seeing as many sides of the family as possible, which was exhausting.

This year, we are expecting 3u2 and need to modify our agenda!! DH loves tradition isn't really loving the idea of change. My family is also pushing to make sure they get "thier time" with us as well.

What did you change and how did your families respond? Are you making any additional changes this year?

JavaVino910 · October 2012

Both our families are local, but we did a lot of running back and forth between them. I'm not sure if we will change any plans this year, with DD still being small. But probably next year we will insist that we spend Christmas morning at home. I know our parents will understand, but will be disappointed. (heck- I'll miss Christmas morning with my parents and siblings, too!)

bookkitten · October 2012

My husband used to spend Christmas Eve, Christmas morning and Christmas dinner with his parents. Our first year, when I was pregnant, we did that. We went by my family Christmas Eve and then to his family after midnight mass, then for breakfast, then they came to our house for dinner. Last year I put my foot down. He went alone for a drink Christmas Eve (I was not waking the baby up for that!), we had Christmas morning alone here as a family, and his parents came for Christmas dinner. I think this is how it will stay for the foreseeable future. I am afraid that once my grandmother dies, my family may stop getting together Christmas Eve, so maybe then we will go by his parents again, but for now they get Christmas Day.

magnoliablossom00 · October 2012

Once we got married, we told our families that Christmas morning was going to spent in our own home together. My family is OK with it. DH's isn't, but that isn't my concern.

My family is local, so last year we saw them at church on Christmas Eve (go to the same), had Xmas morning as our own family at home, then saw them for dinner/presents.

DH's family lives 4-5hrs away, so we asked them to come up the weekend after Christmas to spend an entire weekend together (which would actually give them more time with LO than just bits and pieces). They refused and threw a fit. Didn't come. More screaming and fighting. Then they finally agreed to come in January. Whatever.

This year, we are obviously having a baby (as are you) in December, so we haven't made any big commitments to anyone. We will obviously, still do Christmas morning/breakfast/gifts in our own home with the girls. We invited DH's family up the weekend after again, and they actually seem excited about it. I don't know if I will be up to having guests in the house 10days PP though. Not sure yet. We told my family that we won't be going to Christmas Eve church, but hope to see them for a few hours on Christmas Day. I also asked my family to come to our house this year since riding in a car with stitches sounds like torture. They agreed.

I am a big fan of the whole "we are now our own family, so what is best for us comes first" mentality, especially with having such small children. I think you should do what is best for you and the girls. I wouldn't make any big commitments to anyone, especially about traveling, but that's just me. Can you ask them to come to you this year?

**Edit- By asking them to come to you, I do not mean you cook, etc. I would ask them to each bring a dish and you guys just buy the drinks and some chips/dip or something.

SarahKate31 · October 2012

Our families are both very local (and small) so Christmas has always been easy. We do Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with DH's family. Now that we have LO, we do Christmas morning (tree, presents) at home with just us.

Thanksgiving...sometimes (like last year) we luck out and my parents invite ILs to Thanksgiving and then both of our families are there in one place. But in other years, we will have Thanksgiving with one family on Thursday and with another family on another day that weekend (like Sunday). One year we went to both on Thurs, but we won't do that with LO.

My sis and BIL are a couple states away and they alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas so we only see them for one or the other each year. I'm sure my parents are a little disappointed by this, but there's kind of no way around it when you have 2 families.

kimbo1216 · October 2012

Nope. Everything stayed the same for the most part and should this year as well.

dandlelyon · October 2012

magnoliablossom00:

**Edit- By asking them to come to you, I do not mean you cook, etc. I would ask them to each bring a dish and you guys just buy the drinks and some chips/dip or something.

We'll certainly have to make it clear that drinks are provided... food is not. LOL. Thanks for sharing your ideas and experiences.

valigrl21 · October 2012

Funny you asked that right now because just yesterday i was talking to our families about doing things differently this year.

Normally we split holidays 50/50 with our families, they live about 8 minutes apart. So we eat Thanksgiving dinner at one house at around 1 and then the other house around 5. Christmas Day we wake up at one house, do stockings, go to the other house for more stockings and breakfast. Then back to the other house for presents and a lunch. And then back to the other house for dinner and games.

This is exhausting for us, I can't imagine how an 18 month old would handle all that. So this year, we are celebrating Thanksgiving Day with my family. DH's will celebrate Thanksgiving on Friday. Then Christmas will be with my family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with DH's family.

So far everyone is on board with the idea. Eventually, we will have Christmas at our own house and I imagine our families will be very upset when that time comes, but that's another day's problem.

germanpickle · October 2012

Since I live in Germany, my husband's family doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving. So we host it at our house or go to an American family's house. That part is easy.

Christmas we have 24th at my in-laws (Christmas Eve is the biggest day here). 25th (american christmas) is our day together alone as a family. 26th we see his family again.

If we ever do visit my family again for Christmas, we will spend the entire time with them. If we move to the US at some point in time, we'll most likely spend every Christmas in Germany because it is the BEST PART OF LIVING HERE.

Turtle143 · October 2012

Our families are local also. IL are buddhist so their very easy-going on their Christmas plans.

We're Christians so they know it's important for us and works around our plan for the holidays.

M&M227 · October 2012

Our family lives close by and usually came to our house anyway on Thanksgiving and Christmas. We visited DHs extended family on Christmas Eve. The only problem we had last year was my mom wanting to be here on Christmas morning to open presents. We really wanted that time together as a family, and I'm anticipating it being an issue again this year.

waterfall11 · October 2012

We changed when we got married. While we were engaged we tried to visit both families Christmas (one Christmas Eve and one Christmas day) but the 4 hour drive at 10pm had us dead tired on Christmas Day. We decided to alternate Thanksgiving/Christmas every other year. Although our families would love to see us at both holidays every year they are understanding about our decision.

stephdruskinis · October 2012

We live on Lake Michigan, my family lives in Detroit, and DH's family is in Lansing. Before Brennan was born, we'd go to one of our family's houses for Thanksgiving, then the other on Friday. We'd switch the order for Christmas - wake up at one house, then the day after drive to the other. Last year, I put my foot down and told DH that it's ridiculous to drive a little one around in a Michigan winter just because a holiday is on a certain day. He agreed. We did Thanksgiving, one on Thursday and one on Saturday, but we woke up in our own house on Christmas and celebrated as a family. We did drive out to Lansing first, then back home for a day, then Detroit, and that was way too exhausting to try again. I don't know what we're going to do this year. I am all of the mindset that we have the toddler - people who want to see us on a specific day are more than welcome to come see us. You can't count on driving in Michigan in December, anyway!

LollyBug18 · October 2012

Ever since we got married, we've had absolutely insane plans for Christmas (Thanksgiving was always easier because it wasn't very big for DH's family). When DD was born last year, I made it clear to everyone that we'd have 2 more years of the insanity and then we'd be starting our own traditions for Christmas 2013. Last year my parents got us on Christmas morning, this year the IL's will. I can.not.wait until next year!!! We are cutting back a little bit this year with the new baby coming but next year will be even more.

akayf · October 2012

We changed our holiday traditions after DS1 was born. We used to go to my parents for dinner on Thanksgiving and then to DH's family for dessert. Christmas eve was with my parents and day was with his family.

D's first holidays were also our first ones without my mom(she passed away when he was 4 months old) so we needed to start something new because the old ones were too painful.

For Thanksgiving, my dad, my brother and DH's parents come to us for dinner. We stop over DH's aunt's to see his extended family. My extended family really doesn't get together for Thanksgiving anymore since all the cousins are married...too complicated.

For Christmas, we see my extended family at some point in Dec. My aunt picks a Sat or Sun and we all get together to celebrate the holiday season. We've been doing this for years...too many of us and it's just easier to celebrate on a different day. I now host Christmas eve for our immdiate families. On Christmas day, we're lazy and stay home until 3 and then head over to DH's cousin's to see his extended family.

We're all local so that helps.

We've been doing this schedule for holidays for 4 years now and it works for us so we're sticking to it!!!!!

march2008 · October 2012

We just moved over 3000 miles away from both sets of parents, so our holidays are going to be completely different this year! We're not going to be able to fly back to FL this year, so it's just going to be the 3 of us.

I'm not sure yet what we're going to do starting next year, though! I think we might try to fly home for Thanksgiving starting next year, but I'd really like to spend Christmas in my own home because I just don't know how the presents and Santa logistics would work out otherwise!

egpitt22 · October 2012

My parents are about 45 minutes away, my IL's are about 5 hours away. A little unfair to the IL's, I suppose, but we told them that once we had kids we were done traveling for Christmas, but would be happy to host. They didn't have a problem with it at all; in fact, I think MIL enjoys not having to host!! They usually come around the 23rd or 24th and stay a few days. My parents come up the morning of Christmas & stay all day (my brother & his wife live a little over an hour away & they join us as well)

We alternate Thanksgiving and Easter between our families.

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