3rd Trimester

dammit now I have a problem

MIL and FIL got divorced about a year ago. We are much closer with MIL and only see FIL about 2-3 times a year. Well it turns out that he wants to be at the hospital for my c/s (in the waiting room obviously). Our original plan was to only have my Mom and dh's room in the waiting room. AND MIL told us that she doesn't want to see or talk to FIL (they haven't talked since the divorce) while at the hospital. Should I just tell both of them to suck it and figure it for themselves or tell FIL to come later after my surgery? There really is no good answer for this, someone is going to get offended. dammit.

Re: dammit now I have a problem

  • They can be adults and deal with it.  If they both want to be there, that's what they are going to have to deal with.  You do NOT need the added pressure of keeping everyone happy when you are having a surgery in order to birth your child.  That's my opinion on it at least.
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  • I guess if it were me, I'd tell them to grow up and come be supportive to their grandchild and leave their issues at the door. Drama is the last thing you'll want from them at that time, so you'd better make sure they are prepared to be mature with the awkward situation and focused on the new baby.
    Mom to Jace (7/2004), Cade (2/2009) and baby girl (5/2019)

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I would tell him there isn't really any point of him waiting during your surgery and that you will call him to come after you are in recovery and have had a chance to bond with baby.
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  • I think they just need to act like adults and either sit in the same waiting room or walk around to avoid the other person. It seems like FIL does not have a problem with it since he is willing to come to the hospital and I am sure he is expecting MIL to be there. Just tell your MIL to bring a good book or a close friend with her.

    Hope it works out for you.?

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  • They need to grow up.  I don't think this is a problem you should worry about.  Tell them they both want to be there and they need to figure out if they're mature enough to 'deal' with each other.  They can figure it out.
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