Question for STMs re: getting back to "normal"

kristigilpin · October 2012

My employer has offered me the opportunity to work from home a couple days a week to extend my maternity leave a little bit. I'm planning to completely take off 3 weeks in the beginning, but then start working 2 days a week from home after that. My question is does that sound reasonable? For you experienced moms, how long did it take you to feel like you could actually accomplish things again?

newtonk · October 2012

I think every mom is different and a lot of it depends on your L&D and if there is any recovering that needs to be done, c-section, tearing, etc. I'm a c-section momma and it took me about 5 or 6 weeks to feel "normal" again.

CandaceLeigh · October 2012

I agree with PP that how you feel depends on L&D. For me, weeks 3 and 4 were difficult; although we'd established a routine, this was when the exhaustion really set in for me. While 2 days/week doesn't seem like much and may be completely reasonable, I encourage you not to rush back to work. Enjoy those first few weeks at home without distraction, if you can. I don't know your circumstances, but my SIL had to return to work at 2 weeks PP and has regretted it ever since.

klingb52 · October 2012

Idani:
I had a c-section but I honestly feel that 3 weeks would have been too soon even with a regular birth IMO. Your emotions are all over the place after giving birth. If possible I would take at least 4 weeks before returning PT to work, even from home.

I had a regular birth, but still feel three weeks is too soon to return, even working from home. Like PP said, your emotions are a mess, if you are BFing, LO still needs you, and getting into a routine is important.

sara785 · October 2012

klingb52:
Idani:
I had a c-section but I honestly feel that 3 weeks would have been too soon even with a regular birth IMO. Your emotions are all over the place after giving birth. If possible I would take at least 4 weeks before returning PT to work, even from home.

I had a regular birth, but still feel three weeks is too soon to return, even working from home.  Like PP said, your emotions are a mess, if you are BFing, LO still needs you, and getting into a routine is important. 

All of this. I cried every day at 4pm for 2 or 3 weeks. Obviously, that didn't feel "normal" for me. Adding the stress of working to whatever else was going on may have led to more serious emotional problems. You don't want to put yourself in the situation. Is your employer willing to wait and see how things go?

Magnolia0808 · October 2012

It took me six weeks to feel "normal" in the sense that I felt physically ok, and I had come into a rhthym with my daughter where I was comfortable.

Will you have care for the baby while you work from home? In my honest opinion its impossible to take care of a baby and work from home at the same time.

izziebee · October 2012

I agree with PP. You are so exhausted even at week 3/4 that I just can't imagine trying to work from home. Not to mention you still have a newborn to take care of. They require a LOT of attention so unless you have someone there with you during your working hours, I wouldn't consider this unless you absolutely have to until week 6 or so. It's one thing to go back to work and leaving your LO home with a sitter but a totally different story when it's you, the baby and work with no one to help you.

jennygirlmt · October 2012

I had an uncomplicated delivery and it took about 6 weeks to feel physically normal. But I was absolutely exhausted to the point where my brain didn't work for the first 4ish months. There is no way I would have been any use at 3 weeks. Does your employer expect you to start that early in order to extend past 12 weeks? Obviously if you have to in order to survive financially then you'll work it out. But I strongly recommend focusing solely on baby (and you) for at least 6 weeks.

milesc · October 2012

Hmmm... to physically feel normal again, I was right at two weeks. I felt great, was back in pre-pregnancy clothing, and my bleeding had stopped. (-the only exception was my tailbone, that took a few months to feel better.)

Mentally though, I think I was still pretty overwhelmed. I felt like I was being a bad mom if she was up and in her swing/chair, so I was paying alot of attention to her.

I think its not totally out of the question, especially if it'll help you extend out your maternity leave- thats awesome they are offering that to you. Can you maybe have someone help out a few hours on those two/three days so you can focus on work for a few straight hours?

vnstacie · October 2012

I can't really remember how long it took me to "feel normal" again, but I do know that I took off work 3 almost 4 months, then went back to work but was able to bring my LO with me everyday. We worked M-F 8-4 no lunch break, I just brought myself snacks and food and water and fed LO on demand. I stayed working until she was 6ish months, then we moved.

weebos8 · October 2012

I felt normal between 2-3 weeks after delivery.

I was never overly emotional at all, but what was hard was the lack of sleep.

DHelenL9 · October 2012

I would not recommend it. I physically didn't feel normal until probably a month after, though I still bled some/spotted until 6 weeks pp. You'll want to spend as much time with little one as you can, and you will be physically exhausted from sleep deprivation and hormonal/emotional. I planned to take 12 weeks maternity leave and then work for home for one month to transition back. By 6 weeks pp, I knew I couldn't bear to leave my little one and we made the decision I would stay home for a couple years, and go to grad school during this time. I know we're all different and our situations are different, in the overall big scheme of life, a few more weeks isn't much, and I think you should maximize the time you can with your new baby because it goes SOOOO FAST!