Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
jrpsychmajor
member
Re: Anyone keep their birth plan a secret?
Is your doctor saying you should lie afterwards, too? Are these "scenarios" lies or the truth?
If you have reasons for having a c-section and you and your H know that is the best thing for you and the baby, then why lie, either before or afterwards? I would imagine that they would be hurt if they found out you had planned it the whole time but didn't tell them, and they would probably have a few opinions about that.
And there are people who will say negative things post-c-section. If they're opinionated, then they'll probably find something to say.
So...basically, I'm anti-lying, especially where family is involved. These are people you have to deal with for the rest of your life.
I don't think you should lie about why you had the c-section after the birth, assuming that's what you meant by "some scenarios." Sooner or later you'll screw up and forget what you told them and the truth will come out. Just tell them that you and your doctor made a decision that was best for you/your baby, if they ask, and leave it at that. Your personal medical information is just that- personal- and you don't have to justify yourself or your choice or your situation to anyone. Lying about it just proves to them that they have some sort of right to critique your choices.
...says the woman who didn't tell anyone she planned a homebirth and let her family assume that she didn't have time to make it to the hospital thanks to a really fast labour (the fast labour part was true). It was very awkward when we slipped and mentioned something about setting up the birth tub
You don't have to tell them anything. You know very well if you tell them, they'll have something to say. It's fine to not tell them.
But I wouldn't make up a lie. If they ask, tell them and say what sweals said. It was the best medical decsion for all involved.
If they offer any opinions, simply let them know you didn't ask for any input, it was a decision made between you, your DH and your doctor and it isn't up for discussion with you. They are more than welcome to talk about it behind your back but you will not discuss it further.
I don't think you should lie about why you had the c-section after the birth, assuming that's what you meant by "some scenarios." Sooner or later you'll screw up and forget what you told them and the truth will come out. Just tell them that you and your doctor made a decision that was best for you/your baby, if they ask, and leave it at that. Your personal medical information is just that- personal- and you don't have to justify yourself or your choice or your situation to anyone. Lying about it just proves to them that they have some sort of right to critique your choices.
This. We have an emergency c-section and it was rough, but in the end we did what was best for our family. Plus, everyone asks about your labor and the birth story....it would be tough to have to continue to lie all the time and the truth is, c-sections happen all of the time, 60% of the recovery moms on our floor where c-section, and you should be proud of your journey and the ending result, your LO.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
With my first I was induced at 37 weeks & c/s the next day. So no one knew what was happening until it did - including myself.
With this one IF we do a RCS I will me telling everyone because I'm going to need to set up babysitters, etc. But no one will judge me. They all look at me weird when I tell them I want a VBAC, but no one says boo to my face.