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C-sections
jrpsychmajor
member
Anyone keep their birth plan a secret?
jrpsychmajor
member
in C-sections
Anyone keep their birth plan a secret? I?m having a scheduled c-section. We haven?t told my husband?s family about it though. They are fairly opinionated and traditional. My doctor told me that people would have a lot of negative things to say and that I should just lie to them to avoid the negativity. I really don?t think it is anyone?s business. I haven?t technically lied to anyone, but as the date gets closer I?m starting to feel guilty for not divulging the fact that the baby will be here sooner than what we originally told them. I guess I?m just hoping that I?m not the only one that worries about what other people will think or say if they were to know the whole truth.
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Re: Anyone keep their birth plan a secret?
Is your doctor saying you should lie afterwards, too? Are these "scenarios" lies or the truth?
If you have reasons for having a c-section and you and your H know that is the best thing for you and the baby, then why lie, either before or afterwards? I would imagine that they would be hurt if they found out you had planned it the whole time but didn't tell them, and they would probably have a few opinions about that.
And there are people who will say negative things post-c-section. If they're opinionated, then they'll probably find something to say.
So...basically, I'm anti-lying, especially where family is involved. These are people you have to deal with for the rest of your life.
I don't think you should lie about why you had the c-section after the birth, assuming that's what you meant by "some scenarios." Sooner or later you'll screw up and forget what you told them and the truth will come out. Just tell them that you and your doctor made a decision that was best for you/your baby, if they ask, and leave it at that. Your personal medical information is just that- personal- and you don't have to justify yourself or your choice or your situation to anyone. Lying about it just proves to them that they have some sort of right to critique your choices.
...says the woman who didn't tell anyone she planned a homebirth and let her family assume that she didn't have time to make it to the hospital thanks to a really fast labour (the fast labour part was true). It was very awkward when we slipped and mentioned something about setting up the birth tub
You don't have to tell them anything. You know very well if you tell them, they'll have something to say. It's fine to not tell them.
But I wouldn't make up a lie. If they ask, tell them and say what sweals said. It was the best medical decsion for all involved.
If they offer any opinions, simply let them know you didn't ask for any input, it was a decision made between you, your DH and your doctor and it isn't up for discussion with you. They are more than welcome to talk about it behind your back but you will not discuss it further.
I don't think you should lie about why you had the c-section after the birth, assuming that's what you meant by "some scenarios." Sooner or later you'll screw up and forget what you told them and the truth will come out. Just tell them that you and your doctor made a decision that was best for you/your baby, if they ask, and leave it at that. Your personal medical information is just that- personal- and you don't have to justify yourself or your choice or your situation to anyone. Lying about it just proves to them that they have some sort of right to critique your choices.
This. We have an emergency c-section and it was rough, but in the end we did what was best for our family. Plus, everyone asks about your labor and the birth story....it would be tough to have to continue to lie all the time and the truth is, c-sections happen all of the time, 60% of the recovery moms on our floor where c-section, and you should be proud of your journey and the ending result, your LO.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
With my first I was induced at 37 weeks & c/s the next day. So no one knew what was happening until it did - including myself.
With this one IF we do a RCS I will me telling everyone because I'm going to need to set up babysitters, etc. But no one will judge me. They all look at me weird when I tell them I want a VBAC, but no one says boo to my face.