Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: My Teen Mom Story With A Sad Ending
Firstly, are you seeing anyone for your depression? Even though you can't exactly be medicated for it, seeing someone for it will help. It's also helpful because of what he did to you. Any doctor will tell you, stress is not good for you and baby; so see if your sister can drive you to a place near by and you can see if they will let you get services thew them and/or what you need to do to qualify to get help from them. There are places that will either make you pay a small co-pay or will let you see them for free; while they help you with paper work to get insurance to cover your visits. It also helps to start the process, just in-case you get post partum depression after baby.
+ Medicaid. Because of your income (or from the sounds of what it is) I'm very sure you qualify and the pregnancy also helps (even if they give you temporary coverage because of the pregnancy). In your situation it doesn't hurt to go and see if you qualify.
+WIC. they will help you with food, don't know how many hoops you may have to go thew to get it. But for me I just called and got an appointment, they tell you what you will need to bring to the appointment; for me it was proof of pregnancy(from your OB or doctor), proof of income, insurance card, ID... and I can't remember what else. But I got my card right at the appointment and had it all set up. In my state there is restrictions and they give you a list of what food your allowed each month. They also offered me a class on breast-feeding.
+ Pregnancy centers/problem pregnancy. Don't let the politics, society's views or whatever fool you. These places are not gonna (and should not) try to get you to get an abortion. They can help you find resources and they can or know of places that can assist you. The one by me has a program for first-time mothers where you can get maternity clothes, baby clothes, a crib, car seat, diapers and other stuff for baby for FREE, you just have to attend the classes. They can also help you find other programs or services you may qualify for. Like where food banks are, clothing banks, places where you can get furniture (like crib and what not). Most of those kinds of places need a referral, they can do that so you can get set up to get assistance. I'm sure you already have an OB/GYN, but they can also help you find one and where you can get free ultrasounds and other medical related services. They are just helpful! You don't have to go there a lot if you don't want to; you can just walk in and get a list of places and numbers of places that can help you.
I totally understand how you are feeling. I'm going through the same situation. Right now all you can do is put him in the hands of the Lord and focus on you and your baby. your baby needs you so much right now. I do know that its so much easier said than done but I am a living witness that it can be, I was deeply depressed the first 5 months of my pregnancy due to how my child's father was treating me and I finally just had to take a stand, evaluate the facts, and realize being depressed like that was not good for the baby. When I start thinking negative like I just can't make it through you have to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. Know that the situation and your feelings are temporary brighter days are here and you have to keep reminding yourself of that.
I will tell you a little bit about my situation so you know that I honestly do understand how your feeling. I am 30 years old, not only did I become pregnant but I lost my job of 9 1/2 years, had to move in with my mom, I also have a 13 year old daughter to take care of (I was a teen parent also), and then of course when I told my child's father I was pregnant he totally abandoned me letting me know he's already moved on with another women. Yes, I fell into a deep depression, I was harassing him, threatening him basically just making a fool of myself because it wasn't doing any good but at the time I just didn't know how to handle being treating like that. I thought he was going to embrace the pregnancy & we were gonna try to make it work but life had other plans.
GOD has opened my eyes to a lot during this situation, we can't change how a person is or how they act all we can do is forgive them and pray for them. GOD heals the brokenhearted and takes care of the fatherless. If you put GOD first he will handle this situation for you please trust me on that. The situation is not gonna change over night but put your trust in the lord and find peace and rest in his word and know that trials & tribulations are TEMPORARY. Your young and have so much live ahead of you don't live being depressed, hurt, & unhappy. I can promise you this how your feeling now will not last forever. Keep your head up & know that better days are coming, just hold on for one more day you don't know the blessings GOD has in store for you and your blessings.
Because it's better for a baby to live in complete poverty with a child-parent who has zero family support than to be placed in a home with adult(s) ready and willing to provide and be parents?? Talk about horror stories....
Besides, when did she ever say she didn't have her own family's support?
Jumping in here to give my 2 cents..... I have an adopted child as well as many adopted family members and none of them regret being adopted. Adopted children can grow up in amazing homes and not have issues because of being adopted. I find that incredibly offensive. But, this young woman never said that she was even considering adoption for her baby and that is her decision to make, no one should tell her that she should do that. No one should EVER be forced to make an adoption plan for their child, period. It is the hardest decision a woman can make, and she has to be confident that it is the right thing for her and her child.
That being said, MissVanna, please seek some help at a crisis pregnancy center or something similar. They can help you map out your future and give you resources to help you out. If you ever do consider adoption, make sure you receive unbiased counseling and don't let anyone tell you if it's right or wrong for you, that is your decision to make. Adoption can be an amazing thing. I have a wonderful relationship with my sons birth mom and see her often. However, the fact that no one pushed her into her decision made it so much easier. If you want to parent, you will make it work and be a wonderful mom. It's probably not going to be easy, but it will be rewarding. You need to find a way out of the depression, ex-boyfriend funk, not only for your health, but for the health of your baby. You are a woman, you are strong and you will survive this!
This is her child, do not pressure her into adoption. If it ends up being the right choice for her, thats wonderful. So many deserving couples deserve a baby to love. But this is also the child she WILLINGLY is bringing into this world. There are ways to help her out so she can finish school and go on to college or a job if she wishes. I am married with a baby on the way and Im so thankful for my husband but I think you putting your one track mind on here to make her feel worse about her situation is no help to her. Either give her the information about adoption and support this young lady in her choices or do not write to her post.
I can TOTALLY feel some of your pain right now. Being unwanted by the babies father is the WORST FEELING in the world. Even though the father of my baby is still with me he is not FULLY with me or there for me. I can understand what you are feeling however you being with him MUCH longer than I with mine makes it so much worse. But battling this feeling everyday is the WORST. I know how it feels to be young and pregnant i am 21 and my babies father is 18. The scariest part is thinking just how easily and quickly they can move on to another girl and thinking i will be alone forever, i always think 'how is it even possible to move on and watch him with another girl, when my heart is with him?' and it also hurts to feel SO BETRAYED by someone you thought you trusted so much and would never hurt you or leave you. it feels impossible for me to move on if he ends it completely. which i dont doubt he will. HOW can they possibly look at other girls when we are carrying THEIR child?? I just dont understand it and I know im not offering much advice or help, but I want you to know that you ARE NOT ALONE. I am terrified of being a single parent but yet i have accepted my sure to be fate. If you ever need anyone to talk to I will be here. I know how it feels to feel so alone and everyone feels bad for you and offer you this advice that feels impossible to take because if it was just as easy as "forget about him! hes an ass hole! worry about your baby and focus on your future!" then we would all just do that! but it ISNT that easy. and the feeling is unbearable, hopeless and SO incredibly lonely no matter who offers you a shoulder. I FEEL YOU and i am so incredibly sorry youre going through this. I wish i knew what to tell you but i dont even know what to tell myself.
I cant agree more with the pregnancy crisis center, i know it takes a lot to bring yourself to a place like that but, being someone who gained the courage to walk through those doors, i did so myself and is the BEST decision i made for myself and my baby! They are a lifesaver. helpful, and the people are just bland trained proffesionals behind a clipboard, most have personaly VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE experience, and they really do care! without my pregnancy center, i would be a complete mess. they helped me figure out living situations, my options, and educated me not only on my body and my future options, but on how to deal with my personal problems as well. it is extremely helpful just to have someone LISTEN sometimes. I always walk out of my appointments feeling relieved and renewed. sure problems still hurt but they make you realize NOTHING is impossible. and they can give you MORE advice than ANY family member or friend. they are non profitbale so it doesnt cost you a dime, my pregnancy center also rewards me for accomplishing goals, showing up to appointments, and attending the doctor with used but nice supplies such as maternity clothes, and things for my baby. ALSO they can help with your relationship with the father, that is if you can coax him into attending a session. but it is a TREMENDOUS help. and an eye opener. i very much encourage you to seek help from one! I LOVE MY PREGNANCY CRISIS CENTER!
I was pregnant at 17 and people told me to put my baby up for adoption. Which I think is rude to say to someone. Of course, I didn't do that and now I have a beautiful baby boy! I say, do what you want. I worked my ass off my whole pregnancy to make sure I can support my son and I, and my son will have a wonderful life. If I could do it, you can! Congrats on the pregnancy and good luck!
Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015
MC in February 2017
MC in November 2017
Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018