Should I feel guilty?

cpabride · October 2012

For my daughter's first and second birthdays, we did a fairly big party. We had all our family and many friends. Honestly, I thought it was a little much for something she won't remember. But now that I am starting to think about her 3rd birthday, I was considering just having a family dinner. But part of me feels like I am cheating her. Would I be a bad mom if we just did something "big" every OTHER year?

megann831 · October 2012

we did a biggish 1st birthday, my aunts and uncles at my mom's house because it's bigger than mine. I don't want to do that every year so last year we just had our siblings and parents over. It was just kind of awkward that a few of my aunts asked when the party was and I had to basically tell them they weren't invited. Doing a bigger party every other year may cause alot of confusion with the guest, but I guess you could explain how it's going to work.

brens317 · October 2012

We have always only done immediate family parties for DD's birthdays. Like you, I think during those early years, the child doesn't really understand what all the fanfare is about. I would rather throw her bigger birthday parties when she's older, can invite friends and decide what she wants to do.

IMO, you have no reason to feel guilty if you decide to scale back. If people don't like it, too bad. And your LO will be none the worse for the wear. You can make it just as special with 10 people as you can with 30.

GL!

dragon_chica · October 2012

Nope. She won't remember and even based off of pictures she won't realize it.

jannv11 · October 2012

It's all personal choice. We did big for the 1st and smaller each year. DS's is in the summer so we just do a summer cookout with cake. I didn't even decorate this year. I figured the time would come when they ask for bigger parties with all their friends and that will get expensive so save the money till then!

akbrown64 · October 2012

I wouldn't feel guilty at all. We did a really big first birthday party for DS. His 2nd birthday we just had a cookout with my parents, ILs, and our siblings. It was so nice and relaxing.

IEtoLA · October 2012

Not at all! For DD's 1st birthday we had a huge party. For her 2nd and 3rd it was immediate family only. We just had dinner, cake and a piata at DD's request. and she loved it.

MBMcC421 · October 2012

I kinda know where you're coming from. We did a huge birthday for her first, and toned it down for her second... but during her second birthday I truly felt like I could have/should have done more for her. True, as PP said, I know she won't remember any of it and it won't bother her in the long run, but as a mom I did feel guilty. For her third we're thinking of amping it back up again, especially since we had to cut out a lot of extended family for her second. But to each their own, I say. Good luck!

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