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Two Under 2
MechanicMama1
member
Shower question
MechanicMama1
member
in Two Under 2
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Re: Shower question
I had only a family shower with my second because it was a different gender and my family always does that with opposite genders. I can't think of much that a 1 year old and newborn both use at the same time. Mine are 16 months apart and the only things I had to get was clothes (due to different gender), crib, sheets and furniture.
If someone offers, you could have a small shower if your circle believes in second showers. With the LO's being so close though, I think people would see it as gift grabby.
thanks for the advice!
thanks this was kinda what I was thinking!
thats fun I would do a gender revival but we are going to wrap it up as a Christmas present... I'm not so worried either way just wanted to see what people reactions are because I don't want to be looked at as gift grabby lol what is a diaper raffle anyway? Thank for your advice!
I agree with this, although, I am finding out etiquette on this topic is quite regional. Some areas have baby showers for every baby, no matter what the age gap. I personally would not and did not feel comfortable with a second shower.
FYI- My MIL did throw me a shower for #2 because she was not around for #1... I was very uneasy about it, and asked her not to many times (she is the type that will not take no for an answer). I felt a little better when I was able to make clear that anyone who went to my first would not be invited to this one. (The party ended up being all her friends/family/ and co workers, I guess more so she could "show" me off) I did get a lot of "why didn't you register anywhere?" which was very weird too.
This is very true. Gals around here band together (with registries) for all the babes. I co-hosted my SIL's 3rd baby shower, and attended her 2nd while DH and I were dating. My MOMS group friends all throw showers for each other despite it being the 3rd, 4th or even 5th child. As the hostesses we ask the mother to register for anything she needs.
It doesn't matter around here. It really doesn't.
All that being said, I refused 2 offers for baby showers for my second. They were way too close in age, and we re-used EVERYTHING.
this is a great idea!!
I got offered a shower and didn't do it. My sister has 2 boys so all the boy clothing was going to be handed down and I had just about everything. We bought a crib (amazon), second stroller (expensive but worth it), and cheap booster seat/high chair ($25 FP) when DS started solid food. Everything else she outgrew by the time he needed it.
These are my thoughts as well. Just because you need stuff doesn't mean that other people need to be responsible for buying it for you.
However I do understand that in some areas of the country 2nd+ showers are becoming more the norm. I'm personally not a fan. Maybe that makes me more old school or maybe it's just the way things are viewed where I'm from.
For me? I chose to have these kids. I'm responsible for providing for them. If people want to give me gifts to help me get set up for the first when I have nothing at all? Great - it's a common practice and it's a time for the women in your life to help usher you into motherhood. While the gifts were great what I appreciated most from my shower for my first was the overwhelming feeling of love and support as I entered into a time in my life that was frankly a bit overwhelming, new and frightening.
For the 2nd? That's on me. I would feel really uncomfortable asking for a shower or gifts. Especially if the only reason I feel I "need" them is because I chose to space my kids in such a fashion as to be unable to reuse the more expensive items from the first child. I'm also not a big fan of being the center of attention like that so maybe that plays into my thoughts on it? I have some friends who love that kind of attention.
I do think that in today's society it's not as frowned upon as it used to be. We seem to be in a "have a party and give gifts for everything" kinda mode. If you decide to have one I do believe that people who frown upon it will simply decide not to participate.
Just remember that regardless of the occasion it's never appropriate to ask someone to host a party in your honor so all of this is mute unless someone is offering to throw one for you.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
A few of my close girlfriends took me out to dinner and went in together to buy me a double stroller a few weeks before DS2 was born. I suppose that could be considered a "sprinkle."
I sort of resent the idea that only a baby of a different gender would be deemed worthy of celebration. It seems odd (and a little sad) to think a baby is not worthy of a shower celebration JUST because they're a boy (or girl).
I voted for a shower simply because I really want another and I don't see the problem with second one within reason. My mom hd a 2nd one, but it was 7 years later, a boy and a different father/paternal family. Well I want more of a sprinkle, because my first shower was awful
everyone was extremely generous but I feel like that's the only good thing that came out of the shower... my FMIL offered to throw one for me and then a month before basically said to me "when are you going to start planning everything so I can expect RSVP calls"... so the entire shower went on my shoulders, I didn't relax and enjoy any of it and all I was doing was running around and hosting the entire 40+ co-ed shower (not my guest list either...).
My DD will be 19months when #2 is born in June, of course I'm not going to ask for one but yes I totally have my fingers crossed that my mom or BFF will offer to throw one for me... this time something small and intimate where we can just celebrate my pregnancy and the incoming baby (who's team green, so there's that added excitement this time), I'd love to have a real shower with cute decorations, finger snacks, games, relaxation and general fun! We will only need a handful of little things, stroller and breastpump and I already put together a registry for the coupon only, I wouldn't include any registry info on the invites though (if I get a sprinkle). I don't want gifts, I just want a real shower....
If your family is okay having another shower then I wouldn't worry about it, but if it's too the point where no one is offering then let it go and just get everything yourself.