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Pregnant after 35
Why do people say stupid things?
I found out on Friday that I am having a girl. I am fairly out of the closet about my struggles to get pregnant. People still say things to me like, is your DH disappointed or so now will you try for a boy? Even when people know or I remind them that I first started trying for this baby in 2000 and spent $60,000 making her people still continue to offer their opinion. Most advice I just nod and walk away but this one gets under my skin.
I feel better now that it is off of my chest.
BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Why do people say stupid things?
Because people are stupid!
I know it's tough not to take it personally considering everything you have been through, but try not to. Everybody gets those questions, and if you were having a boy they would still be asking them, only in the reverse and about you, not DH: "Are you disappointed? Will you try for a girl now?". My daughter is almost 2 and I STILL get those questions about whether DH wants our next kid to be a boy! Yeah, it's annoying, but I don't take it personally. My DH does not care what the gender of our next child is, nor do I, but I know some people who really get concerned about it and desperately want one or the other. So what you might be seeing is those people projecting their feelings onto you. Anyways, know that you're not alone, and I would give these questions all the attention and energy they deserve (which is none).
Just as PP said, people are stupid. And it's also easy for people who haven't gone through all the hard times you have to get here to take it all for granted that you'll just jump in another time for a second child. It's all down to ignorance.. or a poor sense of humor.
hopefully they'll get the clue and stop soon.
Have some pizza!
You've earned it to get this far. (I'd have offered cake, but they don't have an icon for it... they should.)
And congrats on your little growing girl!
Why do people say stupid things? Because they open their mouths.
I think a lot of people assume that if they wanted to be pregnant, they'd snap their fingers and boom, preggo! It's not always so easy.
Sorry people are giving you a hard time. Anyone who would love a baby less because it is one gender or the other is pretty lame if you ask me.
Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
I think Petra has the right answer-- put them on the defensive and make them squirm for their stupidity!
Congratulations on your little girl!
<br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>
Yep, tried that. I got a list of reasons why I need both. I was also told well now you know what works so maybe it will be easier for you this time. I did answer that one with wow you really are dumb. This came from someone that is also dealing with IF.
Next time someone pulls that gender crap with you, maybe you could just look at them and shake your head sadly as you say, "Wow-- your parents really messed you up, didn't they! How sad and pathetic... Have you tried counseling?"
@sshats.
<br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>
Actually I tell everyone i want another girl it seems to really bug people that i say that but I would love another girl. A boy would be fine too but I love having a girl and another one would be great!
People seem to think that everyone should have one of each... I think most people don't see the harm in talking about it.