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October 2011 Moms
AngieDee83
member
HELP!?!? Sleep troubles in paradise
AngieDee83
member
My amazing, almost 12 month old, son will not go fall asleep on his own without crying & I don't know what to do.
Here's a little background: he is a super happy little guy during the day & the absolute light of my life. We started out co-sleeping (which wasn't planned, it just happened) and he was such a good sleeper until he was about 8 months old at which time he started waking every 45 minutes; although sometimes would sleep for a few hour stretches while co-sleeping. At 10 months we transitioned him to his own crib; it was best for all of us at the time. He was still waking about every 45 minutes and I would go to him as soon as he cried and he'd fall asleep the moment I picked him up...and repeat that until morning. He has always nursed to sleep but at 11 months I dedcided it was time for a change (maybe too late). I tried to be even more strict with our night-time routine & do the no-cry sleep solution. He would still wake every 45 minutes and not go to sleep unless he nursed. I needed sleep to be able to function and be a good mom during the day and when he started waking every 20 minutes, we resorted to let him cry (I probably cried as much as he did!). We did the Ferber method (consoling him at timed intervals, not letting him wail for hours by himself) and saw much improvement after the second night when he slept 12 hours straight! But, after 2 weeks, he is still crying himself to sleep and I feel that I can't do it any longer. I feel terrible and don't want him to have negative assossiation with sleep. Maybe I screwed up & shouldn't have let him cry at all? But, too late for that. He now cries as soon as we go to his room for nap/bedtime. I've tried spending all day in there until he's tired but still no luck. He seems to get more upset if I stay in his room & try to console him before sleep. He just cried for 15 minutes before his morning nap (I went to him once after 5 minutes) and I am now at a total loss. I'm so stressed that I woke up with a huge cold sore and I'm starting to become extremely frusterated. Does anyone have any advice? Should I continue with the Ferber method until he goes to sleep without crying (which has happened on the odd occasion).
And please, no hate, I feel bad enough already for letting him cry and don't need negative comments. TIA!
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Re: HELP!?!? Sleep troubles in paradise
We did sleep training 3 months ago and DS still cries most nights when I lay him in his crib (anywhere from just a few seconds to 20 minutes). I keep thinking he'll just stop one day. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but want you to know you're not alone.
I'm no seep expert, but as the wife of a librarian I am the recipient of TONS of research on the subject. What I know for sure is the the AAP says that crying before sleep is normal for some babies and should not be seen as a sign of distress. My personal experience has been really different from yours - we put E in her own crib in her own room the day she came home from the hospital. She started STTN at 8 weeks but had a regression around 4 months when we spent exactly 6 days doing CIO according to Ferber's book (to the letter) and she went back to sleeping well. At 7 months we had another regression because she could sit up and stand and we rocked her to sleep for a while. Now we're back to putting her down away and though she doesn't cry 80% we sometimes get some crying before she drifts off. My point is that even though we did things totally different than you did, and even though E is a great sleeper, she still cries sometimes and that's ok.
The number one thing I can offer you is to know that some crying is normal according to experts.
Number two is to get a fantastic, iron-clad sleep routine. She's had pretty much the same routine since birth. Whether it's for a nap or for bed E gets changed, read a book, given milk and held until she's calm e.g. no more squirming. Then we place her in her crib with her paci (only gets it in bed) and her stuffed owl, and leave the room. It takes about 20 minutes total and when I'm not here the nanny (my sis) does the same thing. E knows it's bedtime the second we walk into her room and dim the lights. I think the bedtime routine advice was the best baby advice we were given.
I may not be of much help but to start with, I agree with the PP that you need to have a solid sleep routine that you stick to every night. I am also wondering if you are jumping the gun when you go to get him every night when he starts to cry? DS can fuss a bit in the night and we just wait it out. If he goes back to sleep then we do not have to get up. If he starts crying loud then we go in and lay him back down and plop a pacifier in his mouth. he is usually out again within seconds. Is the room to hot or too cold? Is he dressed too warmly or too cool? Have you tried a sound machine? Are all of the lights off so his room is completely dark? Are you putting him to bed too early or making him take too many naps? DS sleeps approximately 9:00 pm-7:00am with a 1.5 hour nap around 11:30 or so (after lunch).
I am concerned that your DS has been having issues for so long. If I were in your shoes I would probably contact the pedi for help. I am so sorry that you are going through this and I hope you can find a solution very soon for both you and your DS's sake. Best of luck and wishes!