"Push Present" from the Hubby!

kagwiz · October 2012

I had never heard of such a thing - and kinda think it's silly - but who am I to turn down a present from my lovely husband

The hubby just happens to be on a work trip...in NYC...staying at a hotel less than a mile from Tiffany&Co...with some free time tmrw morning... hmmmmmmmmmm.....

Right about now I'm really glad that his Momma taught him about this "Push Present" thing!

mest1215 · October 2012

shanie33:
To each their own, but I just totally do not get "push presents". Holding my precious son in my hands and having my husbands support will be gift enough for me. But then again we really do not exchange very many presents as it is. We would rather save our money for vacations/travel/home improvments.

Said perfectly!!!!

mrsodonnell12 · October 2012

shanie33:
To each their own, but I just totally do not get "push presents". Holding my precious son in my hands and having my husbands support will be gift enough for me. But then again we really do not exchange very many presents as it is. We would rather save our money for vacations/travel/home improvments.

100% agree! I did get DH a "New Daddy" figureine from Willow Tree to give him in the hospital, but I do not expect him to get me anything! His love and support through this pregnancy is all I want!

LoveIsOwlYouNeed · October 2012

shanie33:
To each their own, but I just totally do not get "push presents". Holding my precious son in my hands and having my husbands support will be gift enough for me. But then again we really do not exchange very many presents as it is. We would rather save our money for vacations/travel/home improvments.

Ditto this. Plus, you know, I signed up for this. I don't need a reward for something I chose to do.

amh04 · October 2012

shanie33:
To each their own, but I just totally do not get "push presents". Holding my precious son in my hands and having my husbands support will be gift enough for me. But then again we really do not exchange very many presents as it is. We would rather save our money for vacations/travel/home improvments.

Exactly. Holding my sons is more than a gift, having two healthy babies is more than I could ever ask for. I think its ridiculous to ask your husband (not saying you are.. but it does sound like it) to get you something for being pregnant/giving birth. If he wants to do something on his own, and get you something - that's sweet. But asking for a "push gift", completely tacky and selfish.

littleheaven · October 2012

i agree with pps

i was looking thru the book dh has (dude, you're going to be a dad) and it mentions push presents, but makes it seem no necessary...i hope he doesn't think he has to get me anything...i'm due right around my birthday...i'd rather him just get me a birthday present....i mean, it could be baby related, like some piece of mom jewelry or something, but all we've done to get to this point, baby is present enough for us....

plus, if he has money to buy me something fancy just for birthing a baby, i could think of a lot of other things to do with that money...like bills, or diapers, or save for day care, etc

Brummy14 · October 2012

Also agree with PPs -- that, and I'm so anal about where money is going these days with two on the way, I don't know if I would actually be completely thrilled he decided to spend money on me at this stage in the game.

As far as I'm concerned, his not complaining about needing to step up around the house or tolerating my often ridiculous food aversions or complete lack of libido are gift enough.

malsmom2009 · October 2012

We never discussed gifts when my DD was born, and my DH isn't really a big gift giver. He did totally surprise me and brought a bottle of Dom Perigion Champagne and glasses to the hospital room and opened it after she was born and all was well. It wasn't a "gift" per say, but the thought behind it was precious to me. I gave him a baby quilt really for the baby that was made out of shirts that were his dad's. His dad passed away about 2 yrs before DD was born. It is one of only 2 times I've ever seen him cry. Eventually, when we are done, I'd like a necklace with our kids names on it, but it doesn't have to be at the hospital or anything. Having our son, our daughter and my husband is simply enough for me!

mrsodonnell12 · October 2012

P.S. If DH wanted to get me something from Tiffany and Co. I wouldnt stop him!!

Goldsgirl9 · October 2012

Many women I know have gotten a push present to commemorate the baby. I picked out a necklace with our LO's inital on it. He will be getting that for me before or after the baby arrrives. I love it and the thought behind it. Everyone chooses to spend differently.

Enjoy your gift, I'm sure it is well deserved!

Alexandra0223 · October 2012

We gave each other wedding presents, so i think the 'push present' is in the same league. They are pretty common with friends and family where I am from, but DH is totally clueless. So I have told my mom that if she wants to hint at it, that I want a David Yurman ring with the January birthstone.

drpayne · October 2012

This is right up there with gender reveal parties on the list of thing I do not understand.

kagwiz · October 2012

Definitely not asking for a gift from my husband ... that is indeed tacky. I just don't think any girl should NOT be excited about a gift from there!

We love having excuses to randomly buy each other nice presents. But that's just us.

PS - we are also those people that had a gender reveal party AND a diaper party ("oh how tacky" I know) ... and everyone loved every second of both of them.

(and by the way...they both ended up costing us a ton of money...because we did them as a SOCIAL celebration thing....not to be gift grabby and make everyone buy us stuff!)

Maybe we are just so fortunate that we have so many people around us that WANT to participate in those "corny" things with us...can't complain about that!

We are fully taking advantage of all the fun, corny, things that we can do with our first pregnancy -- and are lovin' it!!

brittandjp · October 2012

Ohh haven't seen this one in a while.

While I have heard of them, I would never suggest or "accidentally mention" a push present to DH. I'm not sure he's heard about them. Either way, I'd never expect him to get something. I also don't love the idea of him spending a fortune around the time I'll be staying home for 12 weeks with basically no pay (60% for the first 6 weeks only).

That being said, if he surprised me with a push present I would happily accept it.

mollywobbles13 · October 2012

It's not my thing, but if a husband wants to buy something for his wife, then cool. Or the wife wants to buy for the husband. After our journey to hopefully bring this baby home with us, he is all the present I need. Plus I would personally rather spend the money on something else. My H and I aren't big on getting each other gifts anyway. We usually get one big thing for the both of us on Christmas. Enjoy your gift!!

mz07 · October 2012

It's the name 'push present' that I find so weird (and slightly nauseating), rather than the sentiment behind it. I'm thinking of 'Dad' gift for my DH, like maybe a book he can read to our LO, and he's vaguely mentioned a charm at one point, but I think of them as commemorations. The whole 'push present' name and the way it's presented in the media strikes me as very juvenile... the the dad is bribing the mom to give birth the way parents might offer a reward for eating one's vegetables. To me, it's not the general idea of a gift, but rather the whole attitute towards birth and children, like it's some kind of game or accessory.

Smashdance · October 2012

I think it's a cute idea, but I probably wouldn't ask for one. I would love a necklace with the baby's birth stone or something along those lines, but I don't think it needs to be like "here's a necklace because you pushed out a baby". If my DH was going to Tiffany's to get me something, I certainly wouldn't stop him, though!

sbevmc09 · October 2012

I honestly don't care one way or the other about "push presents". I am far from materialistic and I'm not even a huge gift person, but I don't see the problem with a gift to commemorate baby's birth. OF COURSE holding your child is the ultimate "gift". However, if someone wants to get you something to commemorate this huge event, so what? I wouldn't expect a gift, but I certainly wouldn't be offended by one.

When DS was born, MH got me a bracelet with a charm on it with DS's name engraved on it. I honestly wasn't expecting anything so it was a big surprise and I found it to be really sweet and I love having that piece of jewelry and remembering that great feeling of first meeting DS and us experiencing being a little family for the first time. I love wearing it.

Now, if you expect/demand a gift that's odd to me, for sure. But getting a gift, that's kind of a personal choice (for the giver, really) and I don't at all think it undermines the fact that baby is the ultimate gift.

zonagirlie · October 2012

I think those of you poopooing it are missing the point. It's not that your baby isn't your "reward" at the end of labor. It's that your spouse is commemorating your ability to bring in a life. SO doesn't get to bring in a life, you do, so to say thanks, they give a present. It's fairly common in India and England. Royalty has been giving presents as thanks for birthing sons for years. Now it's all babies. This is from Wiki- A push present (also known as a "push gift," "baby mama gift" or "baby bauble") is a present a father gives a mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years. ^[1] A ?push gift? is any type of present loved ones give to a woman who has recently given birth to a child.^[2] The name ?push gift? although indicative of a vaginal delivery does not exclude those women who have given birth through a C-section.

It's not to say that your child isn't good enough of a reward, but it's a thank you from the person who couldn't DO the pushing to bring the baby into the world. I think it's sweet. Especially if it has to do with the baby. Like birthstone stuff. That's what I'd want. Something beautiful with the January or February birthstone to commemorate the day my little man came into the world.

brittandjp · October 2012

sbevmc09:
I honestly don't care one way or the other about "push presents". I am far from materialistic and I'm not even a huge gift person, but I don't see the problem with a gift to commemorate baby's birth. OF COURSE holding your child is the ultimate "gift". However, if someone wants to get you something to commemorate this huge event, so what? I wouldn't expect a gift, but I certainly wouldn't be offended by one.
When DS was born, MH got me a bracelet with a charm on it with DS's name engraved on it. I honestly wasn't expecting anything so it was a big surprise and I found it to be really sweet and I love having that piece of jewelry and remembering that great feeling of first meeting DS and us experiencing being a little family for the first time. I love wearing it.
Now, if you expect/demand a gift that's odd to me, for sure. But getting a gift, that's kind of a personal choice (for the giver, really) and I don't at all think it undermines the fact that baby is the ultimate gift.

I couldn't agree more with both statements. Although suggesting it your DH is more tacky than odd to me. I just think there are some things you don't ask of people and asking (or suggesting, implying that you want one) for a push present is one of them.

Of The Eld · October 2012

I'm getting a push present. I even know what it is:

is it a diamond? no. Its a pair of sneakers I've never been able to pull the trigger on buying myself because of finances or feeling like we could go out to a nice dinner for the $$ or whatever. DH read about push presents and we talked about them for awhile. I didn't like the idea, but DH insisted. he said that I deserved a treat, not for pushing out a baby, but for making the effort to be so damn cheerful about it the whole time. That I had made a lot of sacrifices already so far, and that the sneaks would be a reminder of how hard it was, and how worth it.

lulamagoo · October 2012

zonagirlie:
I think those of you poopooing it are missing the point. It's not that your baby isn't your "reward" at the end of labor. It's that your spouse is commemorating your ability to bring in a life. SO doesn't get to bring in a life, you do, so to say thanks, they give a present. It's fairly common in India and England. Royalty has been giving presents as thanks for birthing sons for years. Now it's all babies. This is from Wiki- A push present (also known as a "push gift," "baby mama gift" or "baby bauble") is a present a father gives a mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years. ^[1] A ?push gift? is any type of present loved ones give to a woman who has recently given birth to a child.^[2] The name ?push gift? although indicative of a vaginal delivery does not exclude those women who have given birth through a C-section.
It's not to say that your child isn't good enough of a reward, but it's a thank you from the person who couldn't DO the pushing to bring the baby into the world. I think it's sweet. Especially if it has to do with the baby. Like birthstone stuff. That's what I'd want. Something beautiful with the January or February birthstone to commemorate the day my little man came into the world.

Well put Zona.

We aren't big on gift giving for birthdays and Christmas, but we do choose to celebrate big for things that we do together as a team, anniversaries for example. This falls into that category and it is how we choose to celebrate our lives together. I will also be getting him a new watch (he loves watches like like I love purses and shoes). It will be engraved with our son's birthdate on the back.

If you don't like the idea of a push present, that is great. But, liking the sentiment and wanting to give a gift to celebrate such a beautiful moment is not a bad thing and should not be frowned upon in my opinion.

TexasMom7137 · October 2012

mrsodonnell12:

shanie33:
To each their own, but I just totally do not get "push presents". Holding my precious son in my hands and having my husbands support will be gift enough for me. But then again we really do not exchange very many presents as it is. We would rather save our money for vacations/travel/home improvments.

100% agree! I did get DH a "New Daddy" figureine from Willow Tree to give him in the hospital, but I do not expect him to get me anything! His love and support through this pregnancy is all I want!

I also got DH the "New Daddy" Willow Tree and he gave me a New Mommy one when DS was born. We will probably do something simalar this time but I definetely don't expect it. These figurines had more to do with adding to my collection by commemorating the day than actually being a "push present".

bundymommy · October 2012

When I first heard about push presents from my friend a couple years ago I thought it was the weirdest thing ever. I never mentioned anything about it to DH during my first pregnancy, but when we came home from the hospital he had a present waiting for me (a Calphalon pots/pans set that he knew I wanted). I said, "You got me a push present!" to which he responded, "What?"

To him, it was just a nice gift to recognize the hard labor I went through (all 60+ hours of it) and show his appreciation for what I did. So while I agree that it is tacky to ask for/hint at one, it still is a sweet guesture, and I'm really happy DH thought to do something like that for me.

I won't mention anything again this pregnancy - again, because it's kind of tacky - so I guess I'll find out after baby is born if I'm getting another push present or not!

zonagirlie · October 2012

lulamagoo:
zonagirlie:
I think those of you poopooing it are missing the point. It's not that your baby isn't your "reward" at the end of labor. It's that your spouse is commemorating your ability to bring in a life. SO doesn't get to bring in a life, you do, so to say thanks, they give a present. It's fairly common in India and England. Royalty has been giving presents as thanks for birthing sons for years. Now it's all babies. This is from Wiki- A push present (also known as a "push gift," "baby mama gift" or "baby bauble") is a present a father gives a mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years. ^[1] A ?push gift? is any type of present loved ones give to a woman who has recently given birth to a child.^[2] The name ?push gift? although indicative of a vaginal delivery does not exclude those women who have given birth through a C-section.
It's not to say that your child isn't good enough of a reward, but it's a thank you from the person who couldn't DO the pushing to bring the baby into the world. I think it's sweet. Especially if it has to do with the baby. Like birthstone stuff. That's what I'd want. Something beautiful with the January or February birthstone to commemorate the day my little man came into the world.
Well put Zona.
We aren't big on gift giving for birthdays and Christmas, but we do choose to celebrate big for things that we do together as a team, anniversaries for example. This falls into that category and it is how we choose to celebrate our lives together. I will also be getting him a new watch (he loves watches like like I love purses and shoes). It will be engraved with our son's birthdate on the back.
If you don't like the idea of a push present, that is great. But, liking the sentiment and wanting to give a gift to celebrate such a beautiful moment is not a bad thing and should not be frowned upon in my opinion.

Thanks I think asking for a present ever is just tacky. But anytime someone wants to GIVE you something, you should be thankful. It's just a sweet gesture.

littlemaybaby · October 2012

Here's my problem with push presents - when people expect them, and/or use them as an excuse for extremely frivolous and outrageous gifts. I know woman who have asked for 2 carat diamond earrings, or Cartier watches. WTF???

I feel the same way about push presents that I feel about ALL presents - it's not a gift if it's demanded or expected. If my husband wanted to buy me anything (no matter what the value) to say thank you for bring our son into the world safely - I would never turn it down. But I would never ask for anything or expect anything for having a baby.

echristison · October 2012

If you can afford it - why not? Yes

jeggomyeggo · October 2012

kagwiz:

Definitely not asking for a gift from my husband ... that is indeed tacky. I just don't think any girl should NOT be excited about a gift from there!

We love having excuses to randomly buy each other nice presents. But that's just us.

PS - we are also those people that had a gender reveal party AND a diaper party ("oh how tacky" I know) ... and everyone loved every second of both of them.

(and by the way...they both ended up costing us a ton of money...because we did them as a SOCIAL celebration thing....not to be gift grabby and make everyone buy us stuff!)

Maybe we are just so fortunate that we have so many people around us that WANT to participate in those "corny" things with us...can't complain about that!

We are fully taking advantage of all the fun, corny, things that we can do with our first pregnancy -- and are lovin' it!!

Good for you! Sounds like a fun pregnancy that you've enjoyed.

nycitygirl1 · October 2012

I think "push presents" are a sweet way for the husband to acknowledge what a huge physical toll being pregnant is and takes on the woman's body. It's not just the act of labor and childbirth (which can be brutal) but all 9 months of carrying the baby and abstaining from lots of things (foods, alcohol, certain exercise, travel, etc).

I don't think it has to be an extravagant gift (and can be something thoughtful - not necessarily jewelry), but the idea of it is very romantic and thoughtful. If you can afford it - I say why not?

To those people who posted "holding the baby in my arms is enough of a gift" well, of course!! I don't equate "push presents" with not wanting to be a mom or have a baby. Obviously the baby is the ultimate reward of pregnancy. I think they're just an acknowledgement of what hard work it is to be a woman and deal with PG/childbirth.

DH and I went through a lot to get here and are so so thrilled, but being PG isn't always easy and I think it would be sweet if he got me something and brought it to the hospital as an acknowledgement of all that. Let's be honest - the man's role up until the child is born is WAY different than that of the woman's!

DMG122183 · October 2012

I don't think my husband will be getting me a present, but I will be buying something for myself... Probably a little charm with the baby's initials, and then a BIG bottle of Chardonnay! And I'm not sharing it.

Chocodoxies · October 2012

Well, I must be a nutso or something because I think push gifts are wonderfully sweet and really can hold a memory beautifully for not only mama but baby as well. With our first we were so strapped for cash that no such thing was even considered, and that was fine. This time my hubby wants to get something for the moment. When I was a child I would snuggle into my mother and play with her necklace while she told me the story of my birth and about the day my dad gave her that necklace. I always thought it was so sweet and it made me feel special that she wore that momento around her neck all the time to remember the day I was brought into the world.

After all these years of struggling to bring home our rainbow baby, I would love to have something to hold in my hand that brought that story back to me time and time again throughout my life. The happy ending. No one scoffs when their boyfriend pledges to spend his life loving only you, then seals it with a diamond ring, do they?

==N== · October 2012

I think the sentiment behind it is nice. You get the gift of having your child, which is the best gift, yes, but to me its a dh's way of saying thank you for going through all that so that he could get the most amazing gift too. Not that its necessary but if he wants to buy you Tiffany then that's pretty great!

I told my dh I don't want jewelry, just bring me tiramisu.

sbevmc09 · October 2012

kittynap:
I think more than anything it's the name that creeps me out. "Push present" sounds so contrived and cheap. And the idea of it becoming an expected part of delivery is kindof weird an AW-y, IMO.

Yeah, I think that's the real problem. Especially the bolded. It's kind of like it's becoming a Hallmark event or something, which is going to reduce the specialness of a gift anyway.

jessrenee11 · October 2012

DH suprised me with a birthstone necklace last time and it was really sweet because it got it in the shape of a butterfly like the "promise" ring he gave me in highschool. I am not a necklace wearer so it hangs on my lamp next to my bed.

I am not expecting anything this time but I would love to sometime after get a second band for my wedding ring. Someone once told me that the engagement ring was a the promise, the wedding band was a sign joining your lives and the second wedding band was you as a family. I always thought that was cute and want to get the band with both our kids birthstones. Maybe for mothers day!

Bride-hilda · October 2012

I thought the same thing at first, (that it was silly,) but then I saw a comment on another post that her DH got her sushi and flowers and... yes. I want that! I want a freaking Tomson roll!