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Single Parents
sunflwr0911
member
"Because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing."
~Dr. Suess
Overnight visits and BF
sunflwr0911
member
My mediation was last Friday and I'm really not happy with the outcome of visitation and feel like I made a big mistake.
Starting this week, STBXH gets DS from Thursday to Sunday every other weekend. I just don't think that DS is ready for this many overnights yet. He's never spent a night away from me and still wakes one or two times a night to nurse (although lately, it's been more because he's been teething and now we are both sick). And I don't have enough milk to send with him for the whole weekend. I started easing him into WCM two days ago and it's going slowly.
The only reason I agreed to this is because my lawyer said it's what the judge would do anyway and they don't like when mothers use BF to keep their children away from their dads. I really just wish I would've stuck to my guns.
STBXH has never gotten up with DS at night and sleeps really hard, so I'm worried that he won't hear DS and that DS is going to have a hard time going back to sleep since I won't be there to nurse him. It just kills me to think that DS is going to wake up expecting me to come comfort him and I won't be there.
STBXH admitted in an email that he thought it was too soon for DS as well, so I sent him a proposal to work up to three nights. I thought it would be a good idea to keep this weekend like they have been previously with no overnights and then I could work on sleep training and getting him on WCM for the next two weeks. I even offered to get this side agreement notarized. But he doesn't want to do it. I just want to do what is best for DS.
I just don't know what to do...and I guess there isn't much I can do. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?
"Because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing."
~Dr. Suess
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Overnight visits and BF
How far distance do you and ex live? Well what's done is done. If you already signed the agreement I don't think there is any going back on it. What time does he return DS to you on Sunday? Four full days seems like a lot for that age. I'm really surprised by your lawyers advice. Had you read the reponses on this page before you went to mediation? All that being said you all will adjust. It is hardest in the beginning but you all will adjust and you will learn to appreciate your free time.
For the record my mediator said that after 48 hours a toddler starts to wonder where is mother is. I'm not sure more that two days in a row is appropriate at that age.
That sound horrifying to my, I'm so sorry you got pulled into this. I would try to change the agreement.
But if theres nothing you can do about it your son will be okay. Children are very resiliant and I'm guessing it will be much harder on you. (but I'd still do what ever I could to change it). GL!