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Adoption
Nursery???
So, we start our homestudy next week, and as we have everything else handed in, only a handful of training hours left, and a profile book that is already started, I am pretty hopefull that we will be officially "waiting" by Thanksgiving!
So, here is my question. Right now, DH and I have the time and means to work on a nursery, but I'm kinda dragging my feet. We bought our house right when we were first married that had 4 bedrooms, and decided which one would be the "baby's room" and what rooms older children would be moved to once more children come into play...our dream of having 2u2 and 3u4 didn't pan out the way we wanted, and the "baby's room" has gone abandon until a few weeks ago when a house full of guest had me turning it from storage to a 2nd "guest" room with a TV and futon.
During our waiting period, I know I will want a project to keep me busy, and obviously I will have NO idea if it will be 3 months or 3 years. I am positive if I start working on my dream nursery right now, it will take years for us to be placed, and if I decide to give it time, I will get called two weeks after we submit our book saying a mother came into the hospital wanting to make an adoption plan. Did any one else work on the nursery or have a nursery done before they were placed? Is this a good project I can do to keep me busy or should I be looking for other, not baby related things?
TTC since June 2009 DX: PCOS October 2010
6 medicated cycles, 2 pregnancies, 1 ectopic April 2011, Early Miscarriage August 2011
7 more cycles, 1 IUI, No success after last pregnancy
7/1/2012 No more fertility coverage
8/17/2012 started pursuing domestic infant adoption!
11/26/2012 HOME STUDY APPROVED!!!
When relaxing didn't work is my new blog!
6 medicated cycles, 2 pregnancies, 1 ectopic April 2011, Early Miscarriage August 2011
7 more cycles, 1 IUI, No success after last pregnancy
7/1/2012 No more fertility coverage
8/17/2012 started pursuing domestic infant adoption!
11/26/2012 HOME STUDY APPROVED!!!
When relaxing didn't work is my new blog!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Nursery???
We did a nursery and it kept us busy while waiting. I also wanted to spread out the expenses. My personality is a little type-A though, and I wanted things just right. It was a great comfort to me to have that little room to go into and just sit and pray. I knew that someday a baby would be in that empty crib.
However, don't feel you have to do it this way. Babies need very little when they are first born. I would say do whatever you feel like.
We waited through all of our IVF treatments. However, once we got our homestudy for adoption done, we worked on it. We already had the room painted - we went through and painted a number of rooms, so we went ahead and did that with all the others. But, like I said, we started to really work on it once we were officially waiting. It isn't fully done, but it has the furniture and bedding. DH's mom is going to paint some baby animals on the wall for us (she's an artist and offered). The only "essentials" we have in the closet are in our "go bag" - the diaper bag we packed with some essential items in case we have to leave in a hurry.
If you are interested in getting started, and are comfortable with having a room done that might be empty for a while, I say go for it. For us, having the room decorated is comforting and positive when we need a little pick-me-up during the down times. It was also fun to plan it out, shop for the best deals, and start to make it something really special.
This is something everyone reacts a little differently to doing ahead of time. For us, decorating was the right choice. Good luck! If you decide to move forward, definitely check out the Nurseries and Baby Gear board and get the Baby Bargains book!
I think this is a really personal choice. What I've decided to do is to get anything that requires labor done, mostly painting and hanging window treatments and my mom is sewing the crib skirt and curtains, so she's working on those already.
I'm also working on deciding what I want, but for the most part not purchasing anything. I've picked a crib, dresser, glider, and stroller, but haven't bought any of them. I have also started a registry. I did buy a pack and play, so the baby will have someplace to sleep and I will buy a car seat, so we can take the baby home. But everything else can wait, at least until we're matched. I'd like to have all my ducks in a row, but I don't want an full-fledged empty nursery making me sad on a daily basis.
We were blessed to be given nursery furniture two years ago by a family member so some of it is in the room already (dresser) as we don't have anywhere to store it. I'm nervous to set up the crib because I'm just not sure I can look at it empty, it reminds me of our angels.
I think that ultimately there is no right answer though. If its a project you're ready to tackle then go for it!
5 Angels
I totally get what you are saying - I always feel like if I prepare for the best-care scenario it won't come true but if I expect the worst then I will be pleasantly surprised. That is of course completely untrue, you won't jinx yourself if you set up the nursery.
It's totally up to you, as others said some people feel inspired by the nursery and it gives them hope, for others it's a negative feeling to have a room not being used. Do whatever you feel most comfortable doing - although on a practical note you can keep your eye out for deals and snag them as they come up
Oh - that reminds me. I started a registry at Amazon.com and marked it personal, so it cannot be seen by anyone other than me. I put on it things I think are cool or that people recommend to me or whatever. It scratches that "shopping" itch without really spending any money. It also allows me the chance to research the things I want, the things I need, and figure out what is really just crap. I can change it at will and, when the time comes, I can refine it and make it public.
It is actually a lot of fun to do and doesn't require any commitment.
I started working on the nursery as soon as we began the home study process. For me, it gave me something to do and helped me feel like I was preparing for our LO. Our wait wasn't very long after our HS was completed, so I am glad it was nearly finished by the time we were matched.
I know a lot of people don't want to do the nursery until they are matched because it would be so hard to have a finished nursery for a long time before it was filled. For me, I knew that even if our wait was long, I would be okay having a finished baby room with no baby. That isn't a decision anyone can make for you, though, you just have to be really honest with yourself about how you would feel having a finished nursery without a baby for awhile.
Repeat after me:
"I will not jinx myself if I work on a nursery now"
We had some basics in place. We bought a crib, stroller, PnP, and carseat. We started getting some clothes and cloth diapers. We started a wishlist on Amazon just to get an idea what we wanted/needed.
We were placed 3 months after we went active. We had no crib mattress. We had no going home outfit that was smaller than 6-9 months. DH went out the night we brought DD home and bought out WalMart, LOL.
You sound like having a completed nursery won't be something that will depress or sadden you if you walk by it, so I say go for it and start putting it together. If you have a short wait, you can scramble and finish. If you have a long wait, you can fine tune to make it perfect.
Have fun!
Totally a personal choice. I would not want to walk by a nursery everyday and see it empty. We were matched over 3 months ago and so far all we have done was bought a few outfits since Carter's had a 50% off everything sale for Labor Day. After the scare last night I think we will paint the nursery in the next week or so, but as far as furnishings we haven't picked a thing out yet and when we do, we will not have anything delivered for the nursery until the TPR is signed. I have a friend due a few weeks after us and I figure if things don't go as we planned I will give her the few outfits we purchased.
Keep us posted on what you decide.