Getting a different perspective is a good thing.

Sammy-Mae · October 2012

I was sitting here slightly creeped out that my MIL did laundry while I was away. It wasn't the fact that she washed and folded the clothes that creeped me out. It was the fact that she also put the clothes away. Meaning she had to open and close a bunch of drawers and there is a pretty fair chance that she came across the "Naughty Drawer"

I said this to a guy friend and he said," Actually it's not creepy. It's sweet. What she was probably thinking was, 'the last thing Sam needs is to come home to that pile of laundry in her laundry room. With two kids that can easily turn into a mountain of laundry. Why don't I just take care of that for her?"

I went from feeling violated and judged (for you know, having a bunch of dirty laundry in the laundry room) to just plain grateful for her doing me that solid. Still somewhat mortified that she may have come across the naughty drawer. But that's her own fault for deciding to put laundry away.

Scramblersmom · October 2012

I agree with your guy friend that it was very sweet of your MIL to try to be helpful and do something kind for you. Do not worry about the "naughty drawer". Although we like to think of our parents as sexless I am sure most have had some naughty in their lives too!

LCass · October 2012

I get what you're saying, but I still find it annoying that the ILs always find something to clean when they're here to watch Lily. The last time, I specially made sure that I did every single dish in the sink and the house was still pretty clean from getting ready for Lily's birthday party, so I thought it would be fine. I asked DH to clean the cats' food bowls the night before and he complained and said it could wait a day. So when I got home from work, MIL tells me that FIL fed the cats (which we hadn't asked him to do or told him how much to give) and she noticed that the bowls were all crusty so she washed them. Afterwards I was joking with FIL that I shouldn't bother trying to make sure everything's clean because they'll still find *something* to clean and he told me about how frustrating he found it when his MIL did that to him, and how his own mother would offer to help with the cooking when she came over but wouldn't go around cleaning things because it makes people feel uncomfortable and judged. YOU DON'T SAY!!! Confused

Sammy-Mae · October 2012

That's exactly how I was feeling about it. I spent all day Friday cleaning the house, and was planning on doing the rest on Saturday morning. The entire interior of the house was sparkling, most of the yard was mowed, I weeded gardens. The places that weren't clean were the garage (cause who cares?) the laundry room, because I don't do laundry during the week, inlaws or no inlaws, and finally, the basement. I still need to go through the boxes in the basement from the move and organize all the toys and DVD's down there.

It's like they went through the house looking for things to "help with" and it makes me feel judged and angry. Then the friend pointed out that if I looked at like they were just trying to help because they knew life was insane right now and not like they were judging me I might feel less stressed.

The funny thing about it though is that if my mother were to do the exact same thing I would just think, "Oh thank gawd you did that! I was starting to wonder where the hell I would find the time."

LCass · October 2012

Sammy-Mae:
The funny thing about it though is that if my mother were to do the exact same thing I would just think, "Oh thank gawd you did that! I was starting to wonder where the hell I would find the time."

Maybe that's part of the thing, I'd hate for my parents to do the same things the ILs do when they're over.

I know they just want to help, and that you and I shouldn't feel judged because A) that wasn't the motivation and they had to go looking for something to clean, which means we're not total slobs! But it still pisses me off. I don' t say anything, because they have good intentions, but I also don't have to like it. And they keep throwing out my good sponges when they do our dishes!

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