Anxiety and other emotions

jess123456 · October 2012

Hey ladies,

I feel like I have been posting here a lot lately so I hope you aren't getting sick of me.

Anyway, I am now about 5 weeks out from my loss and anxiety has really taken over. At first it would only happen when I would think of my baby girl but now I find that it has taken over so many aspects of my life. For example, if I know that my husband is supposed to be home around X time from work and he isn't I get very anxious that maybe he got in an accident. I really just fear the worst happening because I feel like the worst has happened and why wouldn't it happen again. I know that they are really unrealistic thoughts but it's crazy what my mind does when I am alone here with my thoughts. I really hate that this feeling has taken control over me and I also know that it probably just a part of the grieving process.

I probably sound like a crazy lady here and I am not looking for you girls to diagnose me (I am working with a therapist) but I guess I am looking to see if anyone else here has experienced this and how you have handled it.

Thank you as always.

mcarter127 · October 2012

You are definitely not alone in that feeling!!! Anxiety is one of my primary emotions these days & I am not a worryer by nature so it's a big change. I worry a ton about DS1 & he already has a ton of chronic medical issues so this just makes it worse. I also was really traumatized by my delivery & everything leading up to it. I wake up all night long with nightmares & it's awful! Im working with a therapist as well. Im actually going to see her today & Im hoping she can help! Hang in there & just know that Im right there with ya!

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · October 2012

You don't sound crazy at all. One thing that I swear no one ever tells you and no one ever expects is the anxiety that comes along with grief. Not sure why it does but it does. I was the same as you, if my DH didn't call me at 5 on the dot I was certain he was in a ditch with body parts scattered everywhere. With time, my anxiety lessened. I still get it in little bits from time to time. I focus on my breathing, rationalize my fear and made DH understand that I may be more "clingy" than normal

) When I was still fresh in my loss and home alone I made sure to do things that kept my mind occupied, whether that was writing, playing Bejeweled Blitz on my phone or cross-stitching, anything I could do to keep my mind occupied is what I would do. {{HUGS}}

OSUWifey09 · October 2012

Anxiety has been a big issue with me, too - not just with my fear of losing someone else that I love, but just with life in general. Seeing people, going out in public, going back to work...it all set my anxiety off. It's getting better now, but I had never experienced anxiety like that ever. I'm still very clingy and probably will be for awhile.

I also suggest trying to find something to take your mind off things, if you can. I'm another person that plays Bejeweled Blitz like it's going out of style, and I watch a lot of sports. This time of year is my favorite time - college football and NFL are in full swing, it's MLB playoffs, and NBA season's about to start - so I watch way too much TV. You definitely do not sound crazy! *hugs*

Heatherhah · October 2012

I was very anxious for about 2 months or longer after we lsot our DD. I was terrified to let my other children leave the house and DH I was afraid they would die too. It gets easier and you are not crazy. If so then we all are crazy too.

Heather

GavinRonansMom · October 2012

I am so afraid to be alone and I'm afraid of something happening to ds or dh...you are not alone...I'm so sorry.

pb127 · October 2012

Post all you want, sweetie. We are here for you. I had similar anxiety after my loss and my OB prescribed me Ativan. I took it only when I felt like the anxiety was taking over my day and I was non-functional. I just needed a little help immediately in being able to just live through daily activities, and it did not dull away my emotions or anything. After a little while, i was able to get back to a sense of normalcy and functioning. i would recommend talking to your OB or other physician about this, hopefully they can help. (((Hugs)))

ETA: I still get some anxiety some times and yoga and yoga breathing has actually helped me a lot in refocusing away from what is bothering me.

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