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Support Ideas for DH

reemap916reemap916
in Infertility

Hi Ladies - need some advice / suggestions for my DH...

Yesterday we went to our IVF class to get our calendar and learn about all the fun shots I get to take very soon. DH was awfully quiet the whole time (even when I made some funny jokes if I do say so myself). I could tell something was bothering him and later that evening he confessed that all this IF stuff is catching up to him. He was pretty upset and I hate to see him this way.

Obviously he has me to talk to, but I think it would be good if he had another outlet(s). We have only told my 2 sisters and his brother about our IF struggles. However, we don't talk about it in detail with them. They just know high-level that we are struggling. 

So my question - is there something similar to this board for our partners? I feel lucky that I am able to get on here to seek advice, vent, get a good laugh, etc. I think it would be good if DH had a similar place he could turn to. Does anyone know of any other support groups/boards for males going through IF/IVF?

Thanks in advance!

image
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Unexplained Infertility
7/12-9/12: IUIs #1-#3 = BFN
11/12: IVF #1 - Transferred 2 blasts (1 frozen) = BFP!
Beta#1 (11/21) - 194, Beta#2 (11/26) - 1222, Beta#3 (12/2) - 9535 (It's twins!) Pregnancy Ticker
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Re: Support Ideas for DH

  • trigirl79trigirl79 member
    Not sure about a forum but there's probably one out there somewhere. My DH and I also go to a monthly support group which has been great for both of us.GL!
    Me: 34 Unexplained IF, DH: 31, no issues

    3 cycles of Clomid Jan-March 2012
    3x BFN
    IUI #1 Sept 2012 BFN
    IUI #1 Oct 2012 (10/11/12) BFP!
    Beta #1 10/26 313
    Beta #2 10/29 1450
    Beta #3 11/1 4202
    U/S #1 11/13
    Baby Girl born 7/3/13!!!

    And now we begin again...
    RE Consult 2/25
    Baseline Bloodwork and U/S 3/4
    Had a 22mm follicle on the R, getting ready to O on my own...BFN
    AF 4/6, CD11 testing done 4/16
    3 follies right (largest 18), 1 left (11.8). Lining 7.16
    starting Estrace 4/16, trigger 4/16 with IUI likely 4/18
    Report Reply
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  • sgb721sgb721 member
    I'm glad you bring this up. DH has been struggling a bit. He wants to just move on to adoption and can't understand why I want to continue with IVF after all of our losses.
    TTC since June 2010
    5 Angels

    Lilypie - (hlC0)
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  • Scoop77Scoop77 member
    I don't know if you know anyone in your area who's struggling with IF, but my H has been talking to some of the husbands of the women I hang out with you have gone through IVF. There should definitely be more support for the guys in this process!
    Report Reply
  • reemap916reemap916

    imageScoop77:
    I don't know if you know anyone in your area who's struggling with IF, but my H has been talking to some of the husbands of the women I hang out with you have gone through IVF. There should definitely be more support for the guys in this process!

    We just relocated to DC so we do not know anyone yet that is struggling with IF. The local Resolve support group is only for women, but I did try that route. I guess I will keep searching. Thanks for the response!

    image
    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Unexplained Infertility
    7/12-9/12: IUIs #1-#3 = BFN
    11/12: IVF #1 - Transferred 2 blasts (1 frozen) = BFP!
    Beta#1 (11/21) - 194, Beta#2 (11/26) - 1222, Beta#3 (12/2) - 9535 (It's twins!) Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • reemap916reemap916

    imagetrigirl79:
    Not sure about a forum but there's probably one out there somewhere. My DH and I also go to a monthly support group which has been great for both of us.GL!

     Thanks for the response! Sent you a PM.

    image
    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Unexplained Infertility
    7/12-9/12: IUIs #1-#3 = BFN
    11/12: IVF #1 - Transferred 2 blasts (1 frozen) = BFP!
    Beta#1 (11/21) - 194, Beta#2 (11/26) - 1222, Beta#3 (12/2) - 9535 (It's twins!) Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • chucktgirlchucktgirl member

    I agree...this is needed. I think my hubby would also benefit from speaking to other men in similar situations!


    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage
    My BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com -Update - old blog.

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
    Me: 42, Hubby: 35, TTC since Jan 2010. Dx: DOR due to advanced maternal age. Also: Hypothyroidism (100mcg Levothyroxin). Positive for MTHFR (hetero-C677T), Factor V Leiden, and Fragile X (on DH side). Taking pre-natal vitamins    .
    First natural PG 9/27/11; mc: 1/20/12
    First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12, IVF injection class: 10/11/12, add FaBB Tab for FVL, +Vitamin D.
    IVF #1: 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Prog- 0.3 The u/s showed 6 follicles in my right  & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning.
    ER 10/28/12: 13 Retreived. 7 Mature. 6 Fertilized. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. All 5 came back from PGS as having "severe abnormalities."
    IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning. hCG Trigger 1/16/13
    ER 1/18/13: 9 Retrieved. 5 Mature. 5 Fertilized. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. All embryos (he even sent the ones not growing) came back from PGS as having "multiple severe abnormalities."
    IVF #3:     NEW RE! 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Prog- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle& 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ.
    ER 3/11/13: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0.  Five day ET 3/16/13: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 AF came a day before beta. BFN
    IVF #4:     (Added acupuncture to this cycle.) 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Prog- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle& 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM.hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ.
    ER 4/5/13: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). Five day ET 4/10/13: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) Beta 4/18/13: 2.5 BFFN. RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the extremely poor quality of my eggs.
    ***Decided to stop trying and live CFNBC. I couldn't adjust. So, six months later...
    IVF #5: Changed RE. Going to one of the big name clinics now. OWDU: 10/29/13. Update: HORRIBLE experience. Disgusted and distraught at their complete unprofessionalism and how much money and precious time they cost us. Sickening. Have now changed RE again. New Patient appt. 1/30/14.
    BFP! Out of nowhere, I got KU the old fashioned way! POAS 1/26/14 - Positive! FDLM 12/30/13. Beta #1 16dpo= 373. Beta #2 18dpo= 801. EDD 10/6/14
    2/4/14 1st U/S revealed a 5wk2day sac but no fetal pole. Started 200mgs of progesterone suppositories daily
    2/11/14 2nd U/S revealed a perfect 6wk1day "diamond ring" embryo with a beating heart! 138bpm! Add 1mg folic acid and 40mg Lovenox
    2/25/14 3rd U/S: perfect 8w1d embryo, 178bpm. 3/6 start spotting. 3/11 10w1d U/S shows no heartbeat. Scheduling D&C. The Stork has forsaken me again.
    IVF #5.2: New in-state RE. Supplement priming for 1.5 cycles prior to start of cycle, including DHEA 50mg (stopped 5/15), CoQ10 200mg 2x/day, L-Arginine- 1000mg 2x/day (stopped 6/5 due to cold sore!), myo-inositol- 2g 2x/day, melatonin- 3mg, and Neevo (prenatal for MTHFR).
    5/16/14 Day 2 bw cycle prior: FSH- 12.22, E2- 38.37, Prog- 1.35, LH- 9.46. 6/2/14 Day 19 bw: Prog- 23
    6/12/14 Baseline: E2- 122.7, Prog- 0.4. 5 follicles in left, 4 follicles in right. Start stims: 375IU Follistim & 150IU Menopur. 6/19 Increase Follistim to 425IU, Menopur still 150IU. 6/18 add Ganirelix. 6/23 Ovidrel trigger SQ. 6/25 ER: 8R, 8M, 5F naturally. Start Medrol & Doxy. 6/26 Start Endometrin. 7/2 Start Lovenox.
    7/8/14 Beta= 137.4 BFP!!! (My first from IVF!) E2- 1109, Prog- >60. Stop CoQ10, myo-inositol, and melatonin. 7/9 2nd Beta= 281.4. TSH- 2.70. Increasing Synthroid to 100mcg daily. 7/24 6w3d u/s measured 6w3d, hb: 121bmp! 8/5 8w1d u/s measured 8w3d, hb: 164bpm! Graduated from RE to OB. Now I just need to find an OB!
    EDD 3/18/15!

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  • Scoop77Scoop77 member
    imagereemap916:

    imageScoop77:
    I don't know if you know anyone in your area who's struggling with IF, but my H has been talking to some of the husbands of the women I hang out with you have gone through IVF. There should definitely be more support for the guys in this process!

    We just relocated to DC so we do not know anyone yet that is struggling with IF. The local Resolve support group is only for women, but I did try that route. I guess I will keep searching. Thanks for the response!

    Oh, that's rough. Maybe you could go to a support group meeting and try to meet up with some of the women and their spouses in another setting, like go out to dinner? 

    Report Reply
  • reemap916reemap916
    imageScoop77:
    imagereemap916:

    imageScoop77:
    I don't know if you know anyone in your area who's struggling with IF, but my H has been talking to some of the husbands of the women I hang out with you have gone through IVF. There should definitely be more support for the guys in this process!

    We just relocated to DC so we do not know anyone yet that is struggling with IF. The local Resolve support group is only for women, but I did try that route. I guess I will keep searching. Thanks for the response!

    Oh, that's rough. Maybe you could go to a support group meeting and try to meet up with some of the women and their spouses in another setting, like go out to dinner? 

    That's a good idea! I am actually planning on going to the next local monthly Resolve support group meeting. Hopefully I meet some cool peeps there that we could become friends with.

    image
    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Unexplained Infertility
    7/12-9/12: IUIs #1-#3 = BFN
    11/12: IVF #1 - Transferred 2 blasts (1 frozen) = BFP!
    Beta#1 (11/21) - 194, Beta#2 (11/26) - 1222, Beta#3 (12/2) - 9535 (It's twins!) Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Edwina.McDunnoughEdwina.McDunnough

    Yes, there is a forum on ivf.connections but the content seems to consist of "is anyone here?"

    +++
    Report Reply
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