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January 2013 Moms
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It's my responsiblilty because? (vent)

StarrSquaredStarrSquared
in January 2013 Moms

Ok first of all i would like to say i love my family. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE them. they do so much for me and im so greatful this is why i dont complain to their face... ahhhh and thank you for reading <3

My sister is  having back surgery on wednesday. she has a tumor on her spinal corde and it's pretty risky surgery. Everyone is freaking out, including myself, and i totally understand why. She has to go out of town for the surgery and will be back in town next monday. (if ya'll could please send some T's and P's during this time i would greatly appriceate it.) So next week i have to play baby sitter.... yup... the pregnant woman gets to play baby sitter to the recuperating sister... I get the why they want me to do it. i tell her to STFU and rest... littirally... haha but i have to be helping her get up and down and she's going to be putting all her weight on my... My sister and i are not small people. none of my family is. and I have to help lift her basically, because she cant bent. i just really dont get it. if i wasnt pregnant i might be more ok with it, but seriously?!

Also she's going to be needing help like this for 6 weeks. Ummmmm no im not going to live at my parents house for 6 weeks to take care of my sister. no friggin way. but i know my family expects me to, they didnt even ask! i was informed that "oh well you're going to be taking care of your sister for those 6 weeks just so you know" WTF i have a family too, im pregnant, i have things i do at my house that my husband wont do if im not home. i really just... dont know what to do. sos?

-Rant over-

I said, "Oh my, what a marvelous tune" It was the best night, never would forget how we moved. The whole place was dressed to the nines, And we were dancing, dancing Like we're made of starlight Like we're made of starlight. ~TS AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Photobucket
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Re: It's my responsiblilty because? (vent)

  • +lisamarie++lisamarie+ member
    How far is your mom's from your house? I don't thinking unreasonable to ask you to help out if you are home and available, but I don't know that it's fait to demand you do it. Especially of you are going to be doing some heavy lifting/pulling to help her up and down. Mayne they didn't think about that when they ask/told you to help. I'd mention it to them and let them know you can't physically pick her up amid you do need to be home at whatever o'clock to be with your family.
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  • nattnnattn member

    I'm sorry you're in that situation. My sister had major back surgery the beginning of this year so I know how scary it can be. Lots of T&P to her and your family.

    You should ask your doctor about the lifting and use that information. My doctor already told me not to lift (or lift as little as possible) my 21lb DD. If your doctor gives you the ok (which I doubt he/she will) then at least it will ease your mind. If your doctor says no, I would listen. If there are other family members who can pitch in to help out, you shouldn't be risking the health of you and your baby.

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  • StarrSquaredStarrSquared
    they live about 40 minutes away. DH and i dont have the money to pay for all the gas for the back and forth every day so i would have to stay there sun-fri and only be home friday night and saturday (maybe) for 6 weeks.
    I said, "Oh my, what a marvelous tune" It was the best night, never would forget how we moved. The whole place was dressed to the nines, And we were dancing, dancing Like we're made of starlight Like we're made of starlight. ~TS AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Photobucket
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  • StarrSquaredStarrSquared
    imagenattn:

    I'm sorry you're in that situation. My sister had major back surgery the beginning of this year so I know how scary it can be. Lots of T&P to her and your family.

    You should ask your doctor about the lifting and use that information. My doctor already told me not to lift (or lift as little as possible) my 21lb DD. If your doctor gives you the ok (which I doubt he/she will) then at least it will ease your mind. If your doctor says no, I would listen. If there are other family members who can pitch in to help out, you shouldn't be risking the health of you and your baby.

    My dr appt is on Wednesday ironically enough so i'll definatly be talking to them about it. i dont want to try and "get out of it" but my sister is a bit of a ditz add some mega pain killers and well... yeah... i dont want to have to go to the ER because of something.

    I said, "Oh my, what a marvelous tune" It was the best night, never would forget how we moved. The whole place was dressed to the nines, And we were dancing, dancing Like we're made of starlight Like we're made of starlight. ~TS AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Photobucket
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  • Mommyluv384Mommyluv384

    I think you staying there 5 nights a week is extreme, that being said if  it was my sister i would be there and do whatever I could to help. I'm pretty family oriented and can't imagine not being there to help. 

    Good luck if I was you'd tell them when you can go there to help and not them telling you  

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  • NecackNecack member

    While family is absolutely important, your health comes first! If you weren't pg, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but you are dealing with a serious health situation too. Your sis can't bend, but you can't lift. Plus, if I remember correctly your ticker says 24 weeks, which means you'll be 25 weeks at surgery time and 31 weeks by the end of her 6 week recovery. Third tri only gets more and more difficult and uncomfortable. You are going to need your rest, and not be tending to your sister's every need. Is there no one else in the family that can help? You can only do so much. Plus what about the needs of your own family? Are you supposed to just drop them for a month and a half and let them fend for themselves? You have a responsibility to yourself, DH, and your children first before anything else and your family needs to understand that.

    ETA: That said, if there are smaller things you could do with less of a time commitment, you should do what you can to help. I just mean that the bulk of her care shouldn't be left for you to shoulder. 

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  • smwigglesmwiggle member
    I am assuming they picked you since you are a SAHM?  You definitely need to talk to your family and let them know you can't do a lot of the lifting and bending for her.  You family really should look into a home care nurse for those 6 weeks.
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  • hooverj3hooverj3 member
    Definitely ask for help.  I lift people every day that are probably double my size and more at work that have had a stroke (I am an occupational therapist).  My OB said since I was healthy that it is ok that I transfer these heavy patients and did not give me a weight restriction.  I use proper body mechanics to transfer these patients to take the load off me and whenever I am in doubt I call someone to help me.  Good luck!
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  • zonagirliezonagirlie member
    Don't let them take advantage of you!
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  • StarrSquaredStarrSquared
    Thank you ladies for all the advice. im going to talk to my doc tomorrow and go from there. also im going to talk to my parents and see if we can work something out. i dont mind being there say, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday but really that should be about it. i hope we can come to a compromise and i will be keeping everyone updated.
    I said, "Oh my, what a marvelous tune" It was the best night, never would forget how we moved. The whole place was dressed to the nines, And we were dancing, dancing Like we're made of starlight Like we're made of starlight. ~TS AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Photobucket
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