Separation Anxiety? help!
brittanystrickert
member
Hi All! I have lurked on this board since I was pregnant, but have yet to post. I am finally breaking down and asking for help! I keep receiving the emails for baby's progress and such and just got the 'Your Baby: 31 weeks!'
In there it talks about separation anxiety when you leave. My daughter is with family 2 days a week and daycare 2 days (just started about a month ago). I am fortunate to have 1 day with her, but lately on that day she WILL NOT let me walk away from her. If I leave her to play 15 feet from me and wash some dishes she starts crying before I even get to the sink! She has a clear line of sight to me, but needs me to hold her or be within a few feet.
So, my question is, is this separation anxiety? She is fine when she gets dropped off at daycare or to anyone else. She has no problems spending the night away at grandma & grandpas and she is almost always fine being "handed off" to people she has never met before.
In the email it says not to cave and pick her up, but I feel horrible when my husband gets home and I need to hand her off to him to get stuff done around the house. I just don't know if this is something she needs to cry out or what is going on. I hate being the mom who calls the dr., but is this something they can help with?
Thoughts and opinion are appreciated!
Re: Separation Anxiety? help!
I'm with you that I would have such a hard time trying not to cave in! DS doesn't cry when I leave him with the nanny or with someone else, but he will cry when I put him down for a nap or bed and I start to walk away from him (I attribute this "situational separation anxiety" to his being tired and the association with his crib). I've been working on this by rocking him like a baby and talking/smiling at him when I put him down and walk away, which has been helping a little (we're only on day two of this- so new).
I read somewhere to not make a big deal of walking away (i.e. instead of goodbye- saying "see you later, alligator" with a wave). Maybe you can take the concept a little further- when you go to do the dishes, continue to talk and sing to her as you go to the sink?
I hope this stirs some ideas...gl!
I think it's probably a form of separation anxiety... though not in it's usual form. It sounds like she's feeling clingy after a few days being away from you and just wants to be close to her momma to feel more secure. Does that sound about right?
My DD has never liked being put down, and we've had to come up with some creative ways to get things done. First of all, I'm like super woman when she naps... haha. Also, when you put her down don't leave right away - Stay and play with her for a little bit until she's really distracted with whatever she's playing with... sometimes this works for us. She doesn't like just getting dumped somewhere
I wear our DD on my back in the Ergo ALL the time! It's comfy and convenient for me, and she likes being up high and close to me.
Also, I'll pull her high chair right up next to me while I prep food or do dishes, and give her some toys or fruit slices to suck on. That way she is up higher and can see me well, but I'm hands free.
Good luck!!
I second joyful's suggestion of wearing her while you do things around the house. I'm guessing this will just be a phase she outgrows. GL!