When to tell SS about baby on the way?

eltar08 · September 2012

I am about 4 weeks pregnant with DH and my firs. SS is 5 and has been asking for a baby for awhile, so we are hopeful that he will be excited when we share the news. We are still undecided on when we want to tell our parents....considering the end of 1st tri.

When should we tell SS? Any recommendations of how? I have found some good books that we would like to introduce afterwards.

Also, part of me feels like I owe BM the courtesy of letting her know as well so she doesn't feel blind-sighted if SS asks her questions. She and I have been getting along pretty well, and when DH and I got engaged, we told her before we told SS and even before a lot of our friends because we wanted her to hear it from us first (which was the complete opposite of how she handled it when she got engaged, which was not telling us till SS told us she was married). Regardless, I still feel letting her know is the right thing to do.

Any ideas on either of these questions? TIA!

bdbelladonna · September 2012

We told the kids when we found out, but then again I am the sole custody. Unless you are sick I would wait a little while to tell him and then tell him when you have him and if you want to tell BM during pick up.

Nineoceans · September 2012

We told around 22 weeks. It was my first pregnancy so I wasn't showing. I was sick and tired but I'm also superstitious and also thought it would be a bit too abstract for him if we told much earlier.

We waited until we knew baby's gender and then we made it a big happy announcement where he got to be the very first to know. Seems to have worked bc he's pretty happy and well adjusted to the news. We count down til baby's here and he asks most nights to feel my belly for baby kicking.

TheBuddha · September 2012

SS was 6 when I got pregnant with DS. We left an ultrasound picture on the fridge. SS said "is that a baby?". DH told him it was a baby. SS then told DH that the baby was in my belly.

Kids are smart. They pick up on stuff. We let SS tell his mom about the baby. He was excited to share the news.

CurlyQ284 · September 2012

We told the kids at 6 weeks. We are long distance so it was either 6 weeks or 18 weeks, we went with 6. DH told BM the night we told the kids so she would have all of spring break to process. We generally tell her big news at the beginning of a visit for that reason.

emikat · September 2012

We told SS right away but also told him that not all babies make it all the way. I wasn't sure I wanted to do this because if we told him, we'd have to tell BM. Well, it was a good thing we qualified it because I had a missed MC at 10 weeks. Next time, if there is a next time, we will wait until we are past the first trimester. Really, it depends on what you are comfortable with sharing and explaining to all that will know.

twister22 · September 2012

I would wait until after the first trimester. God forbid you miscarry and then have to explain that to SS, and have BM know - that's a personal thing you don't necessarily want SS sharing on the playground if it were to happen, ykwim?

Also, kids don't understand time as well, and the earlier you tell SS the longer he has to wait. I'm sure he'll be excited for the LO and waiting 35 weeks is going to feel like an eternity to him!

As for BM, I would let her know. Maybe tell her at pick up and say "We just wanted to let you know that we are pregnant, and we're going to tell SS this week/weekend." That way you give BM time to process it, but you can be certain that the news will come from you and your SO to SS, not from BM.

eltar08 · September 2012

piffle42:
We waited until 13 weeks to tell DS (he's 8). I didn't tell BF until about 2 months ago because he lives cross country and has not seen DS the entire time I've been PG (nor will he until Dec). We also have a terrible time communicating anything and I basically avoid saying anything that isn't necessary because everything turns into a huge sh!t fit with him. He didn't bother to tell me until about a month before he was getting married that he was actually getting married.
If your relationship is good with BM (and I'm assuming you're all close-by) I would either tell her before telling SS, or telling her while you have SS and are telling him (if that makes sense). Like send an email while SS is with you but before he sees her again.
We told DS by giving him a book called "What to Expect When The New Baby Comes Home". We've also since gotten him another book that I highly recommend. It talks about how it's ok to feel scared or a little upset about the baby and how to deal with the feelings.

Thank you so much for the recommendation - I looked them both up on Amazon and they sound AWESOME - even better than the ones I was considering!

dor79 · October 2012

We told them at 12 weeks. We wanted to tell the SKs before other people started finding out so it was special to them. We told the SKs and asked for their help in telling our closest family and friends. After we dropped them off, we then told BM.

ABeautifulMind · October 2012

My SS was also 5 when we told him at 21 weeks. Like a PP, it was my first and wasn't showing too much. We didn't want to tell him any earlier just in case something did happen. We also wanted to know the sex prior to telling SS.

We started talking up babies and how lucky his friends with siblings were around the 8 week mark. SS immediately bought into it and started asking for a baby brother or sister. Around xmas time we had the ultrasound photo on the refrigerator and we showed it to SS. We asked him if he knew what it was. He guessed an alien. Stick out tongue Then I showed him my belly and he guessed correctly. Needless to say, he was beyond thrilled to find out he was going to have a baby sister.

As far as telling BM, H emailed her the weekend we told SS. We figured it was just polite for her to find out from us first.

GL. I'm sure things will go just fine.

When to tell SS about baby on the way?

Re: When to tell SS about baby on the way?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards