Sticking wiener in someone's face...Weird or learned?

Blakes mommy · October 2012

This weekend my son was with his Grandma. He was watching TV in his undies and a T-shirt. He ran up, jumped on her and instead of sitting on her stomach (she was on the couch), he climbed onto her neck, pulled his undies aside and thrusted his wiener in her face.

She told me about it today and I'm sick to my stomach. I called his dad (we are divorced) and asked him about it. I said he didn't learn it at our house (my current husband and I) and my ex said it wasn't at his house either. Then he said "I will watch him around my gf's son" and I asked why. He said she caught her son playing "swords" with some other boy. The gf's son is 7... my son is almost 3.

I am worried sick that the 7 yr old did this to my son and that's where he learned it. They share a room at my son's dads house. It was my ex's first thought that he should watch the gf's son and our son more closely.

Am I freaking out over nothing? Could my son have just been being weird or something or do you think this is something he saw/had done to him? Help. I'm freaking out.

Worcbride · October 2012

I would be upset too. That's a big age difference between the 2. I'd probably talk to my pediatrician as well as have a sit down with your ex and his gf. At your son's age there's a lot of focus on private areas (PTing etc) and they find pee pee and poo poo jokes very funny. However, I still think its worth investigating/discussing with others.

mommytoconnor · October 2012

Oh I'd be pissed. I would definately document everything and like the other poster said, contact peds/counselor to get advise and investigate this. I would hate to say that oh this is just something weird and discount that something could have happened. I would definately check this out further and document everything he says or does in case you need it.

groovygrl · October 2012

Guess I'm in the minority but I'd take a deep breath before jumping to all these serious conclusions without exploring a little more. Have you talked to your son? I realize 3 yr olds are not the most honest and reliable sources on stuff like this esp if you ask it in a way he thinks he's getting in trouble but it is worth a conversation. Maybe the 7 yr old has been acting out a bit in that way, though I don't think 'playing swords' with another kid one time = 7 yr old molester or sexual deviant. Is it at all possible your son may have accidentally seen something on TV or somehow found a magazine or even walking in on you/your H or his dad/GF without you knowing or something along those lines? Maybe the GFs son learned this from some other kid & they need to talk to him also...I think the fact that your ex brought it up & is open to trying to observe them shows that he is concerned & will try to address it.

Maybe start w/ a talk about his privates and keeping them private and that some people might show their privates to other people, has he ever seen anyone do that? Etc. See what he says...and honestly I'd use the word penis and all the proper terminology- no offense but the word weiner out of an adult is really sort of strange to me. I would see if your ex can have a similar conversation with him, and I would personally not mention what he did with your mom until later in the conversation so he doesnt think he is getting in trouble & is more likely to hopefully open up (again, he's three so who knows).

Just my .02. not saying you should blow it off or not keep in mind that there could be something else going on but I don't think i'd jump to conclusions quite so quickly based upon what you've said here.

diana.filipi · October 2012

groovygrl:
Guess I'm in the minority but I'd take a deep breath before jumping to all these serious conclusions without exploring a little more. Have you talked to your son? I realize 3 yr olds are not the most honest and reliable sources on stuff like this esp if you ask it in a way he thinks he's getting in trouble but it is worth a conversation. Maybe the 7 yr old has been acting out a bit in that way, though I don't think 'playing swords' with another kid one time = 7 yr old molester or sexual deviant. Is it at all possible your son may have accidentally seen something on TV or somehow found a magazine or even walking in on you/your H or his dad/GF without you knowing or something along those lines? Maybe the GFs son learned this from some other kid & they need to talk to him also...I think the fact that your ex brought it up & is open to trying to observe them shows that he is concerned & will try to address it.
Maybe start w/ a talk about his privates and keeping them private and that some people might show their privates to other people, has he ever seen anyone do that? Etc. See what he says...and honestly I'd use the word penis and all the proper terminology- no offense but the word weiner out of an adult is really sort of strange to me. I would see if your ex can have a similar conversation with him, and I would personally not mention what he did with your mom until later in the conversation so he doesnt think he is getting in trouble & is more likely to hopefully open up (again, he's three so who knows).
Just my .02. not saying you should blow it off or not keep in mind that there could be something else going on but I don't think i'd jump to conclusions quite so quickly based upon what you've said here.

To me this sounds like a reasoned approach. It just isn't likely to help to blow up and possibly create something out of who knows what. Not all 'sexual' behaviors are sexual in kids. Investigate, but I would recommend calm and caution and openness.

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Sticking wiener in someone's face...Weird or learned?

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