Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Preparing for coming home after c-section
You'll still need pads for the postpartum bleeding but also I liked having the long thick pads to put over my incision, on the inside band of my underwear.
You'll have to limit stairs for a while, so make sure you have everything you need on one level of your house.
Sleeping might be an issue for a week or so, so have items like pillows and blankets ready to prop yourself on the couch or a recliner to make yourself comfortable. (FTR, I didn't have any issues laying flat but my SIL did, so everyone is different)
Make sure you take the squirt bottle the hospital provides for cleansing after going to the bathroom.
This is all I can think of now. I'll post more as they come to me.
Make sure you get moving in the hospital as soon as you can. I had an unscheduled c-section but girlfriends of mine that had c-sections in the past always said this made a huge differnece for them. It made coming home easier and I think it sped up the recovery process. Also, it's not something you need but it was (and still is) hard to tell when I needed to pee. Remind yourself to pee, which sounds silly but c-sections can do that and if you don't feel the urge and you're running around with a newborn, it can skip your mind.
I second taking home the peri-bottle from the hospital and buy the biggest undies you can stand.
1) I bought a basket that I had planned to use in the nursery but ended up putting downstairs with things I would need throughout the day. Pads (nursing and sanitary), extra onsies and sleepers, diapers, wipes, powder, triple paste, lanolin, stuff for circumcision if needed... I think that's it. Just basically what I needed that would've otherwise been kept upstairs.
2) Going off #1, you'll want to avoid too many stairs. I was so weak from my surgery (lost a lot of blood) I honestly didn't feel strong enough to carry DS up and down the stairs for a few days after I got home anyway.
3) I was given an Rx for a stool softener that I brought home from the hospital, but having some at home probably won't hurt. I also was sent home with an iron supplement and prenatals along with my pain meds so I had a nice goodie bag and didn't need to worry about stocking up.
4) Make sure you keep yourself moving but don't overdo it.
5) PNP was set up in the living room, bassinet in the bedroom. That way wherever I was when he fell asleep I had a place to put him so that I could, again, avoid too many stairs.
I live in a townhome style house, so not doing stairs wasn't an option, and I did just fine. Of course, if you can limit it, do it, but it really wasn't bad.
For me, the worse pain came from sitting up in bed, which is tough when you are breastfeeding! Learn how to splint your incision while you are in the hospital.
Get an abdominal binder - some say it didn't help, but it did for me.
Cook and freeze food before you have your baby. Do all the laundry. Clean your house, all that good stuff (if you can).
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
I've had 3 c sections and have never needed colace, however, I get up on my feet as soon as they let me. The quicker you're on your feet the quicker you'll feel better. I never had nausea and was always ready to eat ASAP. One thing I recommend is drink as much as you can. As soon as they let me I get ice chips and then move on to water and cranberry juice.
The binders are awesome. You'll need the post partum pads and you might want pantyliner for over your incision. Try to keep your incision as dry as possible because it will heal quicker. I also agree with the limiting the stairs to a few times a day. Stairs are hard for the first few days home. If you need to cough, sneeze, or laugh put a pillow against your incision. While it's important to rest, don't just lay around all day because then recovery will take longer.
I found the peri bottle useful too because it was easier to keep the ladybits cleaner for the first week or so until it becomes more comfortable in the shower.
I also agree with the "setting up stations idea" with diapers, wipes, cream, change of baby clothes on each floor so it's accessible and you don't need to run upstairs to restock during the day.
Oh, and don't try and be a hero and skip the pain meds. If you don't take them on time you'll end up in extra pain and it will take longer for them to work.
This! It helps you feel put together if that makes any sense.
to avoid stairs we got a mini fridge off of CL and put it in our bedroom. helped with our snacks and bottles for the first few months.
Pads
Pants and underwear that don't hit right where your incision is. I stuck with maternity leggings and granny panties until my staples were out.
If you have a two story home, keep diapers wipes ect.. on both floors so you do not have to do the steps a million times.
I had a pretty easy recovery so I really didn't need much. I was not hungry for a couple of weeks, not b/c I was nauseous, but b/c I was just not hungry. Do make sure to keep food and snacks around that will NOT cause constipation. I never had an issue with that but from what I have heard it can be an issue.
High-waisted undies and loose pants. I am still wearing granny panties and loose yoga pants pulled up to my bellybutton.
Get everything you need on one floor so you don't need to go upstairs.
For where you will sleep, find a way to make it easy in and out of bed and a way to prop yourself up. I couldn't lay down to sleep for a week.
You still bleed after a C/S and the bottle comes in handy to help keep you feeling "fresher" and it makes it easier too. Take it home with you it will be a godsend!!
Also, I don't know if I'm alone in this one, but once my milk came in I really didnt' have an appetite, so i went a few days with barely eating... keep small things around that you can stomach even if you don't feel like eating.
I too liked the larger pads and i LOVED the mesh undies from the hospital, I took as many home as I possibly could.
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
Colace, and pads for sure.
i have a tempurpedic mattress, and had a hard time getting in and out of bed, plus my room is on the 2nd floor, so I set up camp on the couch on the 1st floor for the first couple of weeks. I am hoping to avoid that this time, but am prepared to do it again if I need to.
Prepare some frozen meals that are easy to heat up or throw in the crockpot so you don't have to think about dinner.
know and understand that you will have to take things slowly at first, and that is ok, you will eventually get yourself back up to your normal speed, but it may take a few weeks. Ask for help if you need it, and never feel guilty about it.
your body will go back to normal, a new normal, but it will be ok, don't let that be a source of stress for you, and as overwhelmed as you may feel at first, you will find yourself again eventually, too.
Good luck!
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
My BFP Chart
I didn't need one/wasn't even offered one. I think you'll be fine without one.