Odd mix of emotions

jbranden12 · October 2012

Is what I had yesterday. I had brunch with a group of friends and discovered that one is pregnant and due 2 weeks after me. When I was pg with Patricia, there was another couple in our group was due 2 weeks after me. They got to keep their baby, and we didn't. So when I found out she was 2 weeks behind me I freaked out a little bit.

However, this friend was very kind about our loss and felt comfortable enough to ask me all kinds of questions about my pregnancies, both of them! It made me SO happy to talk about it! I loved being able to say "when I was pregnant with my daughter" or "with Patricia" over and over in response to all of her questions.

Just felt like sharing this because I was in a good place where I could talk about my pregnancy and labor/delivery without breaking down. I hope we all get to keep our babies this time!

[Deleted User] · October 2012

((hugs)) Being PgAL can mess with our minds so much sometimes. I'm sorry on the one hand that you had a freak out moment, but how sweet of your friend to realize that you had a daughter and love to talk about her, too.

I love when people don't shy away from our losses, but acknowledge them. You deserve to be able to talk about Patricia, she's your daughter just as much as this rainbow baby is your child!

Ktrue85 · October 2012

I am so glad you have a friend who is kind and willing to talk/listen to you about both pregnancies. And how wonderful that you were able to share you story IRL with someone without losing it... That is a huge step in and of itself!

Big ((hugs)) to you, strong lady!

GaiaEarthMom12 · October 2012

Sounds like that was a wonderful conversation you had! Glad that you have found friends who you can feel comfortable talking about Patricia with.

weddedwife · October 2012

It's so nice to have people to talk about your pregnancies to. I've got a few like that, that don't give me the "deer in headlights" look when I mention being pg w my son. Most people forget this is my THIRD pg. It's sad how when you have a loss some people act like you were never even pg, like they want to erase the whole thing.

I knew NINE women who were pg when I was last time. They ALL got to keep their babies except me. I desperately wanted to be the only one pg this time around, but alas a friend is due 5 wks after me. I find myself nervous for her bc I know the "what ifs" and she is a blissful naive pg woman, but I try not to project my fears onto her.

Yep, PgAL is a mindfvck.

lavril · October 2012

Big (((HUGS))) I can totally relate to this. My friend told she was pregnant, and my first thought was omg I can't handle this if she keeps her baby and I lose mine too. I had that experience with a few women last time around and it builds these horrible painful connections.

I'm so glad they were able to let you talk openly about both pregnancies though. What a relief!

jbranden12 · October 2012

weddedwife:
I desperately wanted to be the only one pg this time around.

I totally felt/feel this way too. When we lost Patricia, I just wanted time/the world to stop until I could get pg again and hold my rainbow in my arms!

But also, I LOVE that you are a pumpkin this week! So excited to see those numbers in your ticker getting bigger and bigger!

weddedwife · October 2012

jbranden12:
So excited to see those numbers in your ticker getting bigger and bigger!

Likewise! You're already in second tri! Big Smile So beautiful.

MrsRiceARoni · October 2012

Aw hun that does sound like quite an emotional brunch. I'm glad you had an opportunity to talk about your daughter, I love it when I get a chance to talk about Noah. I understand your concearn about having someone due around the same time as you, when I was pregnant with Noah I knew 3 other girls pregnant within a few weeks of me and they all had their babies while I lost mine, I still find it difficult to be around their babies. This time I was getting anxious because it took so long to get pregnant again but now I am glad that it did because if it had happened a few months sooner I would have been pregnant with two of those same girls again and I'm not sure I would have been able to handle that. *Hugs* to you hun, I hope that you both get to have your healthy babies and your lo will have a friend to grow up with.

jbranden12 · October 2012

Thank you, ladies! I knew you all would understand.

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