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2nd Trimester
dande2129
member
filed a complaint about my neighbors (ventish)
dande2129
member
I've never truly had any problems at the condo association where I live. Sure, neighbors have been loud and had parties and such, but nothing that truly interferes with my life, so I leave it alone. However, these new neighbors are a piece of work...
They have two young boys. One is about 4, the other is about 1 1/2. I've seen the boys more than I've seen the parents, because they let them outside to play alone. A lot of the time, I will hear them outside anywhere from 10-11 pm, playing with their toys. If I go onto my balcony, they are directly below me, so I see them playing, and I don't see the parents.
Last night, FI and I could hear the parents arguing so loudly that we could easily make out certain words. I figured it wouldn't go on long, but after 45 minutes, all I could think about were their two little boys. If I could hear them that clearly, I could only imagine how the boys must be feeling, and I doubt that this is the first time. I've had an emotionally abusive and unstable family environment in my past, so this sparked all sorts of feelings.
I have NEVER called the police or even filed any sort of complaint on anyone before. After an hour, and after I heard the crashing of legitimate and purposeful throwing of objects, I was ready to call. It was 12:30 am. But it stopped, so I figured by the time the cops got there... well, it wouldn't have made much of a difference.
I went into the association office today and spoke with the manager to file an official report, and also to say that if I hear it again, I won't hesitate to contact the authorities. I get having an argument with your spouse, it happens. But this was beyond an argument and you have two impressionable, innocent little boys who are going to grow up and think this is okay? Flucking get over yourself.
I strongly dislike people sometimes. I can't stop thinking about the kids. And I know that it's none of my business, but.... must be the hormones. The manager said that they would file the complaint, as well as send a letter to the tenants. I believe, after X amount of complaints, you start to pay a $50 fine each time. Further, after X amount of complaints, you face eviction if you are a renter. I don't know what happens if you own the condo, which I know that they do not.
My hope is that after the letter, the threat of paying actual money for being douchebags will deter them from hashing it out at home, in front of their kids. It's just really sad to me.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: filed a complaint about my neighbors (ventish)
I said that it wasn't necessarily my business how they argue. I still feel bad for the kids that they have to put up with that. Must be me being a silly MidWesterner.
Either way, abuse or not, which I don't suspect that there's true abuse there, they can't expect to be carrying on like that well after midnight and someone not file a complaint.
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
Well, it was midnight. what if you had work in the morning or you just got your baby to sleep and then BAM loud yelling disturbing your sleep or waking the baby. To me it seems a very good reason to file a complain; if they are so loud you can make out what they are saying, then they are being way too loud. Now I don't know how condos are set up/laid out; but it seems very much like how an apartment building is, so I can get that you may hear something from time to time by the people above you or the unit next to yours. But there is a difference between hearing the squeak of pipes cuz someone in the building is taking a shower at 2am or kids running around in the unit above you; AND two adults yelling at each other at what is considered a late hour. At 12:30 am most people are sleeping, so there is not really any other sounds around to buffer the loudness of having a heated argument that late at night.
NOW what really bothers me is that the boys are outside around 10 or 11pm; even if they are on a balcony on the 2nd floor. Where I live it starts getting dark around 7pm (the sunsets around then) and I can tell you right now it's not even 10 and it's dark as heck out there. Those boys don't have any light outside and if the parents are argueing inside then obviously they are not keeping any eye on them. A person can walk by and snatch them up, an animal can come by and bite them... the parents wouldn't see it coming because of the lack of light. Mosquitoes and other bugs will be hanging out by whatever light is out there with the kids, they don't know what bugs not to play with.
Just. Back in my day, kids where inside the house before the sun even sets and stayed in for the night.
Glad I'm not from New York, In my eyes she did the right thing. If I was to see this or my husband (being school teach and bus driver) we are required to report it. Children are vulnerable and emotional abuse is still abuse.
I used to teach and I was required by law to report any abuse or even suspicion. Regardless of physical abuse or not, yelling and screaming in front of a child is considered emotional abuse. Period.
Anyway, it's your home and you are allowed to live in peace. So, you are clearly within your rights to call and report whomever you want.
Also, there are clearly issues affecting the children's best interests if they're constantly exposed to fighting and are allowed to be up at all hours of the night.
I'm a New Yorker and would have reported that too. Not one part of me would doubt my decision either.
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
I'm a New Yorker and would have reported that too. Not one part of me would doubt my decision either.
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
this. Where are the kids when objects or words are being thrown around? You can ignore it but either way it's a risk for domestic violence. I'd feel inclined to do something. Anything.
The condos are set up as private entrys, so a little less like stackable apartments, if that makes sense. We each have our own door. Each condo either has a balcony, or a front porch; I have a balcony, which means that when I open my front door, there is the entry way, and then the stairs that lead up to the living space to the right. My entire living space would be ontop of theirs, as they have a front porch, no stairs and no balcony. So, when I go on my balcony, I can see through the cracks to their front porch. Or, I can just look out at the pathway (we face a pond and a field, it's very private) and see the children playing.
What also bothers me is that, like I said, we face a pond. I don't allow DS to play outside unattended, not even for a second, because of that pond. He's 2 1/2 and only just now learning to stay away from water, and even still, he's 2 1/2... it doesn't mean that his behavior is predictable. If the younger child is even younger than my son, I can't imagine that he knows much about water safety, and it seems awful that a 4 year old would have to supervise his younger brother. If something were to happen... ugh. It would be awful. (There was a little girl several years back that fell into a pond down the street. She drowned, and died, and she was nearly 6, not 1 1/2)
I'd imagine they were in their bedroom. At least, I hope that's where they were. I didn't hear them at all through the chaos.
When I was little and my dad was on a rampage, my younger brother and I had a special spot that we called "Daddy Hiding Place." We both knew to run there and hide when he was the way he was most of the time. We would huddle together and wait for it to end... and we didn't realize how wrong it was that we even had to do it until adults. So when I didn't hear them, I instantly though, "Oh. They must be hiding."
Maybe it's not your business whether the people are fighting.... but it's absolutely your business if they are keeping you up all night and that's against the rules of your condo association. Bump that, I would be complaining, too. I need my sleep. It is sad about the parents, but not much you can do. However, I personally think letting a one-and-a-half year-old play outside at 11 PM by himself is kind of abusive. Personally.
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Rhys - born 04.17.2013
Harry - born 04.18.2016
My opinion is it is ALWAYS your business when kids are involved. They have no voice, and need sane adults outside of the situation to be their voice.
Do NOT hesitate to call in the future. That is the right thing to do and you should have zero guilt about it. Behaving that way with their children around (or really at any time) is totally unacceptable and that needs to be made clear to them in no uncertain terms.
And quite frankly, children that young being left out to play alone is completely with in bounds for a call to CPS. They will come out, investigate, scare the adults a little (hopefully) and file a report. They will not take the kids, but it could be a good wake up call as to what being a parent actually involves.
We are in the process of getting licensed as a foster home, so I have pretty strong opinions on this. The way many people treat their kids makes me insane.
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
I agree too.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
This is a tough situation. I watch my fiance's brother and wife argue and physically fight infront of their kids all the time and the kids are obviously scared. It's a shame! My fiance always tells me not to get involved but it's so hard when you see defensless kids involved. Any caring individual would want to reach out and do something. I think it has a lot to do with how we are raised. My fiance tells me to stay out of their business because he was raised in a home where his parents were constantly fighting... I was raised in a home where I always felt safe and secure and my parents never took arguments to that level. I've never heard my parent's call eachother nasty names or disrespect eachother so when I do hear it, it breaks my heart.
The thing that scares me is if this couple gets in trouble with management or the police, I could just make them more angry and resentful towards eachother and it could get worse. Maybe if child and family services get involved, they will mandate some kind of family counseling.
I personally would have done the same thing you did. You're a kind and caring person and don't let the "flaming" on here make you think otherwise.