Super sticky situation... Kinda long.

ChristinaBeana77 · October 2012

Soo... I'm hosting a baby shower for a friends sister and my friend keeps saying we should do it co-ed. Which is fine but 85% of the people that are invited are girls I work with and are friends with, and a.) are coming out of support because we don't know the sister very well. b.) I know and have confirmed (since I don't want to assume) that none of the guys are remotely interested in coming. AT ALL.

I think though that if the father would like to attend then he should.... This is his baby too.

Anyway, I know I could plan it to where it was more of a BBQ kind of thing but I work a ton and don't want people hanging at my house for hours. I'd like to get everything cleaned up and put away and to relax for most of the evening.

Heres the kicker then I'm done.... My friend is having this guy move in with her from another state at the beginning of next month and really feel she wants him to come and that being the reasoning behind co-ed. The problem is.... We have all been informed that he had gotten in trouble a few years back for grand theft and burglarizing. Supposedly he was into the drug retailing business but was never caught doing that. He's just now getting off house arrest. I kind of mentioned it to my husband about the co-ed thing which he said no thanks and also said if eraye friend was thinking of bringing him I needed to make it clear that that wasn't happening because he didn't want him in our home.

So super yikes!! I don't know how I should feel. Advise please. I'm scared that even though it's not co-ed she will try and bring him. Are we a**holes for being like this?

jeffsjayme · October 2012

I think it's weird to invite your co-workers when they don't know your friend's sister. Or at least not well. If you didn't invite them, then it might be more evenly mixed co-ed.

Sounds like you need to address the issue with your friend - since it won't just be for the shower that he won't be allowed in your home.

Then I'd find somewhere else to host it.

Did the MTB give you a guest list that included men?

dragon_chica · October 2012

WHY are you hosting a party for your friend's sister? Because for you to refer to the MTB as your "friend's sister" indicates that you really aren't close enough to this sister to host it because you care about this person. Why doesn't your friend host it for her sister and let klepto loose in her house? I think this sounds like the beginning of some serious drama. If you really want to go forward with hosting and it's feasible do it elsewhere. Why not the friend's house or the MTB's house? Or a park?

ChristinaBeana77 · October 2012

jeffsjayme:
I think it's weird to invite your co-workers when they don't know your friend's sister. Or at least not well. If you didn't invite them, then it might be more evenly mixed co-ed.
Sounds like you need to address the issue with your friend - since it won't just be for the shower that he won't be allowed in your home.
Then I'd find somewhere else to host it.
Did the MTB give you a guest list that included men?

As far as why my co-workers are invited, is because they are supportive of my friend which also works with us. The sister of our friend stops by and we all are friendly but that's it. Unfortunately, the sister has NO friends and not a ton of family and coincidently not much of a pot to piss in. We all would love for her to have a nice day and have something for her new baby. We, fortunately, are in a position to do it. So... Long story a little shorter, I didn't go into it because my story was long enough in the original post. I'm very close with all the girls and whether or not I hosted it, my friend was going to invite them. And I know they would go regardless. So I thought I'd offer to do it so my co-workers/friends would enjoy it since, let's be honest, they're doing it out of kindness.

Does that make sense? It's late so I could be rambling at this point.

Also, thank you for your opinion, PP. I honestly do appreciate it!

ChristinaBeana77 · October 2012

I honestly offered to host it cause this friend of mine had really helped me out with my wedding and had mentioned she wanted to host her sisters shower but she really doesn't have the space to do it. I felt like I should help out someone who has helped me. I didn't know at the time that she was going to start making stupid decisions about being with people with that had felonies.

I will definitely have a chat with her. I'm bummed she is even going down this path!

The owner of the place I work at has just let me know she was also going to be talking with her because we all have keys to the building and she wants it to be protected. Soooo.... It's all silly right now and I'm really disappointed.

persephonerose · October 2012

Since you are hosting it, you get to decide if it is Co-ed or not. I would simply tell her that you only have room for a select number of people in your house and that since you are hosting and paying for it that you want it to be a ladies only shower.

I personally think that your friend is the jerk for trying to force you into inviting her new boyfriend. The party is not for the friend, it is for the MTB. All this drama and other crap should be ditched and you should remind your friend that this day is for the MTB.

rhubarb123 · October 2012

persephonerose:

Since you are hosting it, you get to decide if it is Co-ed or not. I would simply tell her that you only have room for a select number of people in your house and that since you are hosting and paying for it that you want it to be a ladies only shower.

I personally think that your friend is the jerk for trying to force you into inviting her new boyfriend. The party is not for the friend, it is for the MTB. All this drama and other crap should be ditched and you should remind your friend that this day is for the MTB.

I totally agree with this. I personally prefer to host showers that are for women only. I've only been to two co-ed showers and I did not host them. I have been to a couple of showers where the FTB attended (they appeared uncomfortable).

Unknown · October 2012

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EastCoastBride · October 2012

persephonerose:

Since you are hosting it, you get to decide if it is Co-ed or not. I would simply tell her that you only have room for a select number of people in your house and that since you are hosting and paying for it that you want it to be a ladies only shower.

I personally think that your friend is the jerk for trying to force you into inviting her new boyfriend. The party is not for the friend, it is for the MTB. All this drama and other crap should be ditched and you should remind your friend that this day is for the MTB.

All of this.

To add- you can also invite all your friends SO's, but here's the thing- they don't HAVE to come. Your friend also needs to realize this. You know the guys have NO interest in coming. So.... even if invited, they may not come! This whole shower is so forced as it is - I can't see "forcing" the guys to come who really have NO CLUE who this woman is.

ANd this is what I'd tell your friend- even if you do make it "co-ed", that doesn't 'mean the guys will come.

ChristinaBeana77 · October 2012

Thanks everyone!! I just spoke to her and was just open and honest.

I feel better. I am pretty laid back and don't have a lot of issues in my life (Thank God.). And this was stressing me.

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Super sticky situation... Kinda long.

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