Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Bag/Things question...
CR hooked you up, but if I read what she wrote I'll forget my suggestions so sorry if there are repeats. I didn't know anything about preemies, so educating myself especially on hospital terminology would have been good. This is good: https://www.preemiecare.org/Glossary.pdf or just Google. That's a safe Google
I would have purchased a couple outfits with hats/or just hats but people gave us those. Receiving blankets. Unscented hand lotion. Kindle. Books for Kindle. More yarn for crocheting.
I would have packed my hospital bag sooner.
It's hard for me to answer these because we had such wild circumstances leading up to having DS. We didn't have anything. Literally. But if we had...
Oh, and a real camera. socks. something to wear in hospital.
Just basic stuff.
Like others have said, there really is nothing too specific. By the time your baby is home you will need most of the same things that other FTM need.
A few specifics that I can think of:
good hand sanitizer (I like purell and germ-x and babyganics and hate most others)
good hand lotion to help heal dry hands
a notebook for keeping track of nicu stuff or a phone app like this one: https://www.lifeslittletreasures.org.au/llt-app/
preemie hats (these are harder to find than preemie outfits) I loved the personalized one and "i love my nurse" one that I ordered off of etsy
I entered the hospital at 22weeks straight from a doctors appointment with the clothes on my back and whatever was in my purse at the time. People sent loads of food and entertainment and my husband brought the basics from home for me (toiletries, computer, charging cords, pillow!, etc) but I used the hospital issue gowns, towels, linens, etc as to not create more work & laundry for my husband who was already overwhelmed. The NICU had everything we needed for our 25 weeker. We did eventually bring in clothes, blankets, and things to make our part of the NICU feel like "home" but that was after we were all settled in.
Good luck !!!
www.virginiakkent.blogspot.com
This is all great advice... thank you!
When I went into the hospital on Wednesday I also had no idea it was coming (clothes on my back/stuff in my purse).
Now that I am home (at least for tonight!), my husband suggested we get stuff ready to go because we've been told to expect it happening at some point and I am just feeling a need to do something productive. (Sitting and worrying doesn't feel so great...)
Anyways- Thank you!!! Didn't think of some of these suggestions so I will definitely make the additions.
One of the best things I did was buy the Preemie book by Dana Linden (bought it on Amazon for $10). I had a hard copy of it. I read the first few chapters of it while on bedrest and then a lot of it while Julia was in the NICU under the bili lights. I felt empowered by knowing what questions to ask, what to anticipate,etc and the knowledge base that I was able to build made all of the necessary interventions a lot less scary.
I also recommend checking the carters website here and there. They tend to have some great sales on preemie clearance stuff. I was able to get tons of sleepers and outfits for a total of about $40.
A lot of the other stuff can wait.You will need everything a FTM needs,but you will have time to shop while the baby is in NICU.
The biggest, biggest thing for me, and my one regret that I did not have, would be my GOOD CAMERA. All we have from the birth were three iPhone snapshots and some shaky video my husband took. Don't get my wrong, I am super-grateful to have those, but I would have loved some truly wonderful photos of my son in those first minutes. Everything else, to me, was gravy. We didn't have anything pre-purchased... clothes, nursery furniture, nada... but none of that really mattered because there was plenty of time to buy all that afterward.
Oh, and now that I'm thinking about it, I might have had a special receiving blanket and hat so that my baby's first photos didn't have to be in that awful hospital hat and blanket.
Also, this isn't an item, but if I had known ahead of time (which I kind of did, but didn't think to do this), I would have tried to meet with one of the neonatologists to ask all my questions and also make some specific requests (e.g., I would request that any TPN be given with aluminum removed -- that's something I never in a million years would have known to ask; and things like NO formula, just breast milk, no x-rays or other non-emergency procedures without talking with me first, etc.).
www.virginiakkent.blogspot.com
Once your LO arrives and is in the NICU, you will barely have time to eat, let alone shop and cook. I had planned to make a bunch of freezer meals before the arrival of my fullterm, 8.5 lb baby boy, but things didn't exactly go the way I had envisioned!
We also didn't have any family within a 1,000 mile radius of us, so if you do, be sure to lean on them for support and help around the house with cooking and cleaning.
Camera--- check
I will start looking for hats and receiving blankets.
And I think the food advice is great---- if I can get DH to help since I am not even supposed to be cooking these days...
Great advice ladies!