Bedsharing ? When is it safe to...

KateLouise · October 2012

Just wondering when is it safe for Lo to sleep beside Dad.

DD2 has always slept on my side, but now she is completely mobile. We have a bedrail, but she's pulling up on that and I worry about her waking before me and falling off the bed.

We've been discussing putting the mattress on the floor, but not sure that's exactly the path we want to take.

I don't think I'd feel comfortable with LO between us at this stage, but wondered when it's generally considered ok?

At this point she starts the night off in her cot, and then when she wakes, I go and sleep in the twin bed in her room with her.

ncbelle · October 2012

I always found that I woke right as kiddo did so I never worried about the pulling up on the bedrail thing. The other thing we did as soon as the kids could crawl was to show them how to crawl off the bed safely (we have a bench at the foot of the bed). I don't know that I've ever heard a particular recommendation for when sleeping by daddy is ok - I suppose it depends a lot on your DH and his ability to be aware of LO in his sleep.

nosoup4u · October 2012

I wouldn't worry at this stage - they are big and mobile (and pushy, hee hee hee).

Angela814 · October 2012

nosoup4u:
I wouldn't worry at this stage - they are big and mobile (and pushy, hee hee hee).

I agree. I actually had both DDs sleep on either side of me from the start. I never figured out how to nurse both sides lying on only one side, so I would switch back and forth to nurse. I always kept my arm around her, so if she moved into my arm, it woke me up. If DH would even touch my arm, it would wake me up also.

michellepeanut · October 2012

My LO has always slept between us, just more towards me. Ditto on PP I think it depends on your DH.

danigirl7181 · October 2012

michellepeanut:
My LO has always slept between us, just more towards me. Ditto on PP I think it depends on your DH.

LO has slept between us from the start, but my DH is a light sleeper and very aware of LO.

aglenn · October 2012

michellepeanut:
My LO has always slept between us, just more towards me. Ditto on PP I think it depends on your DH.

This, for both kids. I think it just depends on your situation and what you're comfortable with.

boogerbearoriginal · October 2012

I never had luck with nursing the topside so I've always had to put LO between us for periods. H is very light sleeper though, and when LO was little he slept snuggled up against me so it wasn't a big concern.

Now he beats up H sometimes lol. So I worry more about H than LO.

I don't think there's a hard/fast rule as much as what makes sense for your family.

StefandTodd · October 2012

I'd say that by the time he was around 8 month old, I felt pretty comfortable with it (based on how aware I was, how strong and capable of defending my son was, and how my H slept).

Still free to be me · October 2012

I began bedsharing with DD1 when we were on a trip without DH. When we got back, three weeks later, she slept on both sides of me. I was alway VERY aware of her, and never had any concerns about her being squished by me or DH. DH is a pretty deep sleeper, though, so he didn't sleep alone with DD until around her second birthday. I would move her to the sidecarred crib when I got out of bed in the morning.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2012

Oddly enough, my youngest has always slept better with her dad and my oldest always slept better than me. We all start off in our own beds but by the end of the night DH and DD are in one bed and DS and I are in the other. I have never felt uncomfortable with my DH bedsharing. On the contrary, I think he's better equipped for it since he's an even lighter sleeper than I am.

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