Has it been said?

Courtneyluff · October 2012

Don't go the Yahoo! Answers adoption section?

For real y'all. It is a knockdown-drag-out on all sides. I love this cozy place better. And that is not talking about any one group in particular. It's all fighting and craziness. I never should've ventured out of here.

jillianmb · October 2012

What are they fighting about?

Courtneyluff · October 2012

Oh nothing particularly interesting. Just all sides of the triad (and people not a part of a triad) disagreeing a little... vehemently. Every question has people calling others a troll, and rarely answering the questions people ask.

It really just makes everything on there mostly unusable for actually, you know, getting answers.

When do you go back to see your son again?

Courtneyluff · October 2012

I feel like I should say that debate is great, just not downright attacks.

jillianmb · October 2012

Courtneyluff:
Oh nothing particularly interesting. Just all sides of the triad (and people not a part of a triad) disagreeing a little... vehemently. Every question has people calling others a troll, and rarely answering the questions people ask.
It really just makes everything on there mostly unusable for actually, you know, getting answers.

When do you go back to see your son again?

Thursday! We leave tomorrow for Russia.

That's too bad that people are attacking so much. I agree that debate is good, but I mean parenting and adoption is hard enough without having the adoption community turn on itself! Good grief. I hardly ever miss school but times like these make me wish I was back in the classroom where people argued coherently and respectfully at least!

Rachel Sonnier · October 2012

Made that mistake when I first started researching, unfortunately. Vehemently is a great word choice. I had no idea that so many people perceive adoption as being inherently wrong, before I stumbled upon that site.

Courtneyluff · October 2012

Jillian, that is so exciting. I can't wait for him to be home for you (mostly because I will love seeing adorable pictures!)

Rachel, I understand! I didn't realize people thought that it was straight up wrong. I can understand some of the reasons, and I try, but it's baffling on some level to think it is only ever terrible.

hpopo · October 2012

I think that the decision can not be one-sided, and things have two sides, we need to look dialectical!

CaptainSerious · October 2012

I'd like to point out that there is a big difference between Yahoo Answers and Yahoo Groups. Anyone can participate and provide responses in Yahoo Answers, but groups on Yahoo are monitored and can be restricted to only those people with a valid interest in the topic, who are committed to participating in a fair and civil manner.

I have found some great adoption groups on Yahoo. I always recommend that people use their agency research groups when vetting an agency, and although I have since heard some not-so-great feedback about the domestic group, I have nothing but awesome things to say about the international group. The information I learned there led me away from one of the agencies I was considering, and knowing what I know now, I can't be more grateful. I have also found a great support group for parents who've adopted older children.

I have also found some groups in which the tone was terse and the information was restricted and tightly controlled. While I didn't always agree with what was said, I limited my interaction there because there was a group of regular posters who were very heavy-handed and would attack posters with different opinions. I remained a member of the group, though, because it was a fairly reliable source of information regarding the current state of adoptions from Peru. So, while I didn't participate in discussions about the Peruvian culture, the safety of travelers to Peru, or whether Peruvian newspapers offer a good way to know what's happening in the country, I used the group as a place to find out when the Secretary of Adoptions issued new rulings/statements regarding international adoptions and similar information.

What I'm trying to say is that Yahoo Groups is made up of varying interest groups, and some are more open and civil than others, but there are many that may provide valuable information. Please don't confuse the groups with Yahoo Answers, which is just open to the public, and similar to searching the entire internet or asking on facebook.

ETA: All that being said, I, too, am very thankful for this board. I have often said that I don't know how I would have gotten through the adoption process without this board, where there was always someone who understood and/or could commiserate, and never tired of supporting me through the long journey. I don't know of any other place like it!

Courtneyluff · October 2012

CaptainSerious:
I'd like to point out that there is a big difference between Yahoo Answers and Yahoo Groups. Anyone can participate and provide responses in Yahoo Answers, but groups on Yahoo are monitored and can be restricted to only those people with a valid interest in the topic, who are committed to participating in a fair and civil manner.

I have found some great adoption groups on Yahoo. I always recommend that people use their agency research groups when vetting an agency, and although I have since heard some not-so-great feedback about the domestic group, I have nothing but awesome things to say about the international group. The information I learned there led me away from one of the agencies I was considering, and knowing what I know now, I can't be more grateful. I have also found a great support group for parents who've adopted older children.

I have also found some groups in which the tone was terse and the information was restricted and tightly controlled. While I didn't always agree with what was said, I limited my interaction there because there was a group of regular posters who were very heavy-handed and would attack posters with different opinions. I remained a member of the group, though, because it was a fairly reliable source of information regarding the current state of adoptions from Peru. So, while I didn't participate in discussions about the Peruvian culture, the safety of travelers to Peru, or whether Peruvian newspapers offer a good way to know what's happening in the country, I used the group as a place to find out when the Secretary of Adoptions issued new rulings/statements regarding international adoptions and similar information.

What I'm trying to say is that Yahoo Groups is made up of varying interest groups, and some are more open and civil than others, but there are many that may provide valuable information. Please don't confuse the groups with Yahoo Answers, which is just open to the public, and similar to searching the entire internet or asking on facebook.

ETA: All that being said, I, too, am very thankful for this board. I have often said that I don't know how I would have gotten through the adoption process without this board, where there was always someone who understood and/or could commiserate, and never tired of supporting me through the long journey. I don't know of any other place like it!

I am very sorry. I did not confuse the two, just probably used the wrong word. Yahoo answers are categorized, so I said groups instead of... maybe section would be better?

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