S/O Dads at the hospital overnight

ellcore · October 2012

What exactly is protocol on that? DH and I have talked about it, we both agree we want him there, however we have two small puppies (1 year old) at home. They are crate trained, but we don't like them in there all the time and don't have very many people to choose from to watch them. His brother is going to watch them, but he works nights so he would sleep all day (dogs in kennel) and gone at night (dogs in kennel again). We had my uncle just crashing at our house, but he moved so doesn't live around here anymore. Any advice would be helpful!

queenie521 · October 2012

I think it's whatever you both feel most comfortable with. S&h stayed with me the entire time when we had DS1 but with DS2 and this one he will be going home unless I deliver late at night because we want things to stat as normal as possible for our other two.

Mrschica · October 2012

My hospital only allows the dad to stay overnight only if the mom is bfing... We have two dogs and we are leaving them at my inlaws while at the hospital depending on when I deliver... If its on a weekend that my mil has a round of chemo, Sil has to go stay with her, which means DH would have to go get the dogs and sleep at home.

Do you have someone close by that can at least come over and check on them either throughout the day or at night? Neighbor or someone?

bingqilin00 · October 2012

Is there a doggy day care in your area?

Starry Again · October 2012

My hospital allowed one overnight guest. The first night I was there (before I delivered and had no idea I would be having a baby the next day), I stayed by myself. The next four nights my DH stayed twice and my mom stayed twice. I figured it was a way for him to catch up on sleep before reality set in. Also apparently the chair that converted into a cot was not comfortable for sleep.

ChrisG83 · October 2012

Oh my gosh I am in the same situation you are, we have a dog who is crate trained but we don't have anyone to watch her so DH just has to come home. My sister can come during the day but night time we have nobody.

Are you comfortable with any of your neighbors coming into your house? Or taking your dogs and their crate to a neighbors house?

gusabbey · October 2012

We also plan on dh sleeping at home, unless of course im in labor over night. I want him home with ds1 as much as possible for one, and also like queenie said, those chairs suck. Id prefer him to come and go and let me sleep with lo alone...plus he snores. If this were my first baby, id want dh there for the first night no matter what.

jillybean800 · October 2012

Mrschica:
My hospital only allows the dad to stay overnight only if the mom is bfing... We have two dogs and we are leaving them at my inlaws while at the hospital depending on when I deliver... If its on a weekend that my mil has a round of chemo, Sil has to go stay with her, which means DH would have to go get the dogs and sleep at home.
Do you have someone close by that can at least come over and check on them either throughout the day or at night? Neighbor or someone?

Seriously? Just another way to punish FFing moms...sorry, not saying anything about your post personally, just that the hospital is wrong for making that policy.

Vegasbb · October 2012

As far as dogs go, not to be silly - but does no one else kennel their dogs? Almost every city has super nice kennels where the dogs are played with all day and get tons of attention. It's $25-$40 a night usually, but for the birth of your child it would be worth it to me to not stress over ?

That being said, I'm still not sure what we are going to do. The postpartum rooms at my hospital are tiny and SUCK and since I'm having a C-section we will be there at least 2 nights and maybe 3 . I'm worried since I'll be on meds and whatnot I probably shouldn't be alone with the baby since I'll be trying to EBF and would really like the help in case I'm having trouble getting around. DH is going to try to stay with me every night, but we'll see how it goes!

ladeebri · October 2012

Mrschica:
My hospital only allows the dad to stay overnight only if the mom is bfing...

Wow I've never heard of that. What if the mom was having a c section? I must be missing the point of this policy because it seems like FF or BF a new mom could use her DH being there either way.

For the first 2 nights my mom will stay at our house with DH or if she chooses we've given her permission to take DS and our dog with her to where she lives, 2 hrs away. MIL is responsible for the second two days assuming I'm in the hospital for 4. I'm having an RCS and I'd like baby to room in with me at all times. I'll especially need DH for the first full 24 to 36 hrs, until I feel comfortable enough to get up any time the baby should need me to.

Nineoceans · October 2012

I'd like him to stay but it's not imperative. I'm pretty sure I'm going to let baby stay in the nursery so I can sleep at night and I'm going to try to check out right at 48 hours to get home as soon as possible. We'll see though we have a dog and my SS so someone needs to hold down the fort at home

Mrs.G123 · October 2012

ladeebri:
Mrschica:
My hospital only allows the dad to stay overnight only if the mom is bfing...

Wow I've never heard of that. What if the mom was having a c section? I must be missing the point of this policy because it seems like FF or BF a new mom could use her DH being there either way.

For the first 2 nights my mom will stay at our house with DH or if she chooses we've given her permission to take DS and our dog with her to where she lives, 2 hrs away. MIL is responsible for the second two days assuming I'm in the hospital for 4. I'm having an RCS and I'd like baby to room in with me at all times. I'll especially need DH for the first full 24 to 36 hrs, until I feel comfortable enough to get up any time the baby should need me to.

This policy is effing insane. It makes no sense at all.

hailyf · October 2012

Mrs.G123:
ladeebri:
Mrschica:
My hospital only allows the dad to stay overnight only if the mom is bfing...
Wow I've never heard of that. What if the mom was having a c section? I must be missing the point of this policy because it seems like FF or BF a new mom could use her DH being there either way. For the first 2 nights my mom will stay at our house with DH or if she chooses we've given her permission to take DS and our dog with her to where she lives, 2 hrs away. MIL is responsible for the second two days assuming I'm in the hospital for 4. I'm having an RCS and I'd like baby to room in with me at all times. I'll especially need DH for the first full 24 to 36 hrs, until I feel comfortable enough to get up any time the baby should need me to.
This policy is effing insane. It makes no sense at all.

No kidding. Who the h3ll makes these policies?

melissascarfone · October 2012

Hire a dog walker to come in and walk them for a good long 30-40 walk, have a family member take them to a dog park, or best....take them to doggie day care and board them for a few nights...im doing that. Pricey but i will have peace of mind.

ellcore · October 2012

We won't kennel our dogs because we don't really feel that comfortable with those places, especially around here. We don't know our neighbors all that well to ask them to do it and we have very limited friends that would be able to. I might be able to con my friend's son into staying here. The problem is having them in their cages the whole time we're gone, I didn't want to have someone just let them out to pee and run around and then back into their cages.

We've talked about him staying the night and we've talked about him staying at home. Our hospital policy states we can come home whenever we want, so we don't have to stay the full 24 hours (granted everything goes smoothly). If everything goes great, I didn't want to have to stay at the hospital anyway. My mom will be down here, so it could always be a type of thing where I ask her if she would feel comfortable in being with the pups while DH is with me. I hate the fact I had the perfect plan and my uncle decided to move. Maybe he'll drive the 5 1/2 hours to come house/dog sit.

MAbride0808 · October 2012

Mrschica:
My hospital only allows the dad to stay overnight only if the mom is bfing...

This is nuts!

DH is planning on staying with me in the hospital right now, but that might change if he needs to continue to work while I'm at the hospital.

irish city girl · October 2012

My friend arranged for someone to let her dogs out while she was in labor. Then her husband went home a few times to let him out and feed him. They lived 15 minutes from the hospital. Seems like that might be your best option.

Erino901 · October 2012

My next door neighbor has a key and will let our dog out to go to the bathroom and for play time the day I go into labor, then my parents will be here overnight since they are coming in from out of town (and we need someone to be here with the dog). DH will stay in the hospital with me. I totally understand not wanting the dogs to be in the kennel the entire day - that's why we slowly stopped kenneling ours when she was about a year and a half and our schedules got way out of hand - but for a day or two, they should be okay if your only option is for your BIL to check in on them. They will probably just be super clingy when you get home.

Mrschica · October 2012

MAbride0808:
Mrschica:
My hospital only
i
allows the dad to stay overnight only if the mom is bfing...
This is nuts!
DH is planning on staying with me in the hospital right now, but that might change if he needs to continue to work while I'm at the hospital.

i agree, the policy is insane! They told us about it during the birthing class and we were all a little put off by it!

Mrschica · October 2012

LauraT25:
Hmm I am really confused about the 'no overnight guests unless BFing policy', I just don't see the logic.
Our hospital has fold-out couches, no clue if they are any more comfortable than the chairs but I'm sure it's better than just a recliner. My husband is definitely staying overnight, but I'm not sure if he will shower there or just go home. We are packing toiletries for me to shower with so he can use those, and he'll have a toothbrush and change of clothes.

according to them, it's so the mom can have some extra help... Makes no sense

Mrschica · October 2012

LauraT25:
But but WHY? Like you don't need extra help if you're not breastfeeding? And like there aren't nurses/LCs/etc to help with breastfeeding (and other stuff), while you're there? It's just so bizarre to me.

right??? I asked the same thing during the class!! The nurse was annoyingly vague about it... Basically, because the mom does so much work while bfing that the dad should be there to do the rest... Frankly, the whole thing makes no sense to me and I'm sure I'm not the first mom to complain about the policy, but they won't change it...

shlittertoots · October 2012

I agree, it's very weird that SO can't stay the whole time. Our hospital each room has a double bed in the room so you can just sleep with your SO. And if you want the bed to yourself, there's a couch in the room, too. DH is a crazy sleeper so I may take advantage of this...

Hopefully you can find someone to let them go outside some, so that your DH doesn't have to go home to do it. I don't want my DH leaving to let our dogs out--we are having a dog sitter stop by and let them out until his family gets into town. They will be staying at our house while we are at the hospital, and leaving when I come home. I'm glad I don't have to worry about the dogs being let out, but they'll be caged up for most of those two days b/c I know the inlaws will want to be at the hospital for most of the time. I guess it's only two days so if they get some play time and fed, I'm ok with that. I'll be home on maternity leave for 6 weeks and they won't be crated at all then!

baeluevano · October 2012

DH might stay overnight for the 1st night depending on the time the c/s ends up being scheduled for, but that's it. We want to keep DD1's schedule as normal as possible for her & I know I'll be in the hospital during the week(tues-thurs or fri) & DD has school from 7:45am - 10:45am all of those days. The other option is to have her stay with my parents about 1min away but I don't want it to disrupt everyones schedules(mom works on wed & thurs, dad works mon-fri, little sister is in 3rd grade).

However with DD1 DH stayed with me the entire time. We live less than 5 mins away from the hospital so he was able to go home & rest, shower, change, & check on things/animals whenever needed. My parents were also more than willing to help get things/look after whatever we needed.

MelissaNY05 · October 2012

That policy makes no sense to me. Makes me appreciate my hospital they encourage it so much they almost make it mandatory for dads or partners to stay overnight.

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