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Attachment Parenting
newborn and problems driving in the car
I am desperate for any suggestions here. DS2 is 2 months old and hates driving in the car. He just cries and cries. It takes two or three times longer to get anywhere, because I have to keep pulling over to calm him down. If I am riding with someone I will sit in back with the boys, but this still does not calm him down. I have started using a nuk, but he usually spits it back out.
I am to the point where I am scared to leave the house. DS1 goes to daycare/4K program three days a week. Other than that I get so nervous and anxious to go anywhere. I feel okay physically and mentally, so like to get out of the house and do stuff with DS1 (and DS2 is "easy" in that he is always in the ergo or a wrap). And I go back to work in January, so want to enjoy this time with both of the boys and not be stuck in the house.
Yesterday we all went out and the drive home was so bad. DS2 cried for the last 20 min of the ride and for about 30 min after we got home when he was being held. The crying is awful, not just a cry..but a brutal screaming crying. I just don't know what to do at this point!
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Re: newborn and problems driving in the car
I had this same issue with DS when he was very young. Is your LO in a bucket-style carrier carseat? All of our crying issues ceased when I switched him to a rear facing convertible carseat. It was not convenient not having the carrier to use, but totally worth the sacrifice. He just hated being in the carrier in the car. I would just use my stroller or wear him. HTH!
Yes he is in a bucket seat now. Whenever we get to where we are going I carry him some type of carrier, so he is only in the carseat while in the car. I really wasnt planning on moving him to the regular rearfacing seat (we have a Britax Boulevard) until next spring and then getting DS2 the booster seat. Is DS1 even big enough to go into the Boulevard? He is only 10lbs now. I guess I can look into the carseat safety more, but is that as safe as the bucket seat?
Thanks for the advice. I am seriously willing to try anything right now.
We had this problem for the first 4 months - I feel you, it's awful!
Ours (I think) was a combination of 2 things:
1) My son DID NOT like to sleep "in" things (like a swing, or the carseat) so if he would start getting sleepy, he'd flip out and scream and cry, because he wanted out.
2) He was also (per his pediatrician) abnormally aware of his surroundings from a very young age. Most babies are content anyplace when they're young because they can't distinguish chair from arm from crib. But my guy knew where he was, where I was, and where he wanted to be.
What we found worked was a combination of:
- sound: We bought a travel sleep sheep and attached it to the outside of his carseat. The white noise helped, not on it's own, but in conjunction with:
- sight: We drapped an A&A blanket over the carseat, so it cut down on what he could focus on. They're thin enough where it didn't increase the heat, I could still kind of see him through it, but they block out excess light and sights.
- FP Seahorse: I'm very anti-toys in the carseat because of the risk in case of a crash. Or, I was - until I had a child who would scream and cry himself silly in the carseat. But if I put on the seahorse, and put it beside him, he would instantly calm down. Putting it with him under the blanket with the sleep sheep going would get him to even - FALL ASLEEP! Which was like a miracle.
You just have to go - in my experience, stopping makes it worse! It helps to remember that this is not the same as leaving baby to cry - one, he's not alone and two - staying housebound isn't good for anyone's sanity!
What made a HUGE difference for us, Eleanor in particular was switching from the bucket to a rear facing convertible - night and day. She still wasn't totally happy but the full on scream fests stopped.
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info
Have you tried...
-a mirror?
-putting something in with him that smells like you?
- a swaddle me (or comparable) so he is swaddled in the car
-noise (music, white noise, anything that maybe works elsewhere to soothe)
If he is used to being worn/carried, he may feel alone/too far from you/scared you're gone when he is in the carseat. All of my suggestions are based on that premise and could help those feelings. I agree that you need to be able to get out of the house, so whatever it takes right? Even if you have to blast the a/c so that the swaddle doesn't over heat him!
Does it make sense if I say I feel like he is being alone? I feel like we are doing CIO and I am just leaving my baby. Maybe I am being too hard on myself, but I just feel crazy awful.
Thanks for all the suggestions. We do have a mirror hanging up. I have not tried the white noise, we usually listen to one of DS's kids music cds, but I do have the cds that just have the vacuum going and could try that. I could also try putting some "stinky" clothes of mine next to him.
And I read somewhere else about the car seats. Strongly considering switching them now...I guess I didnt realize the bucket seat was a convience thing. The Britax is in the weight limits, so he would be fine in there for safety purposes.
I put him in the Boulevard 70 which starts at 5 lbs., so you should be good