Bi-Monthly 6+ Wine and Cheese Party (updates)

Rawr08 · October 2012

Hi ladies, how have the past two weeks treated you? I hope you are all doing well. Sending love and hugs to those who need it. So spill the beans, what is new...

Rawr08 · October 2012

WOW, usually when I post this update there are not a lot of threads in between. What is going on? There is no way I am going to keep up with everything with all these posts. I sure miss the slow pace of our board... Any way, stepping off my soap box... kinda

We just got back from vaca, we had a good time. If I could find a job there I would probably move. Still NTNP, had a dream last night I was pregnant though. I decided I will not let my loss define me any more. It happened, and I think, finally, I am over it 4 1/2 years later.

jenn0021 · October 2012

Rawr - I'm glad that you had a good vacation and are feeling a bit more at peace with your loss. Thinking of you and sending you ((hugs)).

I'm doing alright. I'm just getting over a cold and have been having a rough 2 weeks with all my digestion issues. I'm just waiting to O and hoping for the best. I had allergy testing done yesterday but the results didn't give us any indication on to what's going on with my health. I'm hoping to get into a clinic a couple hours from here and maybe get some help from them. I just want to feel better.

[Deleted User] · October 2012

The user and all related content has been deleted.

raashton · October 2012

Rawr: I'm glad you are finding peace. I hope that you continue to thrive in it.

Jenn: Come on O! And hope that you're digestive system calms down.

St.Lucia: Enjoy the wedding! I'm so glad that the grooms are able to celebrate their love. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time! Hugs and love!

Mlal: Ugh! Long cycles make me want to crawl out of my skin.

As for me: I got CHs for my first cycle on Clomid. Apparently, I'm 3DPO. I'm trying not to get too happy/excited because my body has faked me out before. Our timing was good but I'm trying more to think of this as more an exploratory cycle. We shall see how this goes...

sammer818 · October 2012

Rawr - I'm glad your vacation did you good. I'm glad you have come to as much peace as someone can find after a loss.

Jenn - Sorry you have having GI issues again. *HUGS* Hopefully things resolve soon! FX that seeing another clinic will get you some answers!

StLucia - Boo to AF....enjoy yourself at the festivities!! Have fun at the wedding!

Mlal - I'm glad the blood draw went better than expected. I hope you get some answers soon.

Rasshton - FX that this is real and not a fake-out!

As for me, not too much going on. We had horrible timing this cycle (only BD on O-day), so I'm not hopeful at all. I'm thinking about trying to find a way to "start over" with my life. I've let my losses and TTC take over my life and define me. I also had 2 coworkers ask me if I was pregnant yesterday (aka - you've gained weight!). So I'm hoping to make some changes. I want to get a new haircut/color, focus on being healthy, and just trying to get back to doing things that I enjoy and that DH and I enjoy doing together...we'll see how it goes.

jenn0021 · October 2012

wickedsugar:
CD1 is here, this cycle was a big fat colossal fail.. I don't know if I have it in me to really TTC again.. I don't know. I will respond to everyone else tonight when I get home.

I'm so sorry for CD1. Huge ((hugs)) heading your way.

killian09 · October 2012

Wicked--I'm sorry. AF is a b!tch.

Sammer--hugs and good luck with the positive changes. And sorry that rude lady made that comment to you. So unfair.

Raashton--FX for your medicated cycle.

Mlal--FX for good test results. You made it through the blood draw!

St Lucia--have fun at the wedding!

Jenn--hope your next appt is more helpful. Sorry you've been under the weather.

Rawr--glad you enjoyed your vacation.

As for me, this past week has been pretty rough. My best friend had her baby on Monday. My DH and I visited her yesterday (in the hospital same hospital where I've gone for my losses) and it was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. I held it together while we were in the room but started to really ugly cry as soon as we were 2 steps out the door.

Among my stupid vents related to this are that evidently one of the doctors I collaborate with spotted me in the elevator immediately after that ugly crying session. Embarrassing.

My DH thinks I'm not "moving on" very effectively. He has a point. I've asked my OB for a referral to a counselor. I really want to be able to have a more positive relationship with my friend and her baby and a better outlook in general. I don't know if counseling will help, but I figure it can't hurt at this point. hopefully my OB will get back to me soon.

Anyway I feel a little better now. I think it was a bit cathartic. And I'm about 2 dpo now so I'm trying to have a positive outlook for this cycle.

funny bunny · October 2012

Rawr08: I agree, it's been quiet around here. I am so glad to hear that you came to a place of peace in your mind about this loss. I hope I can follow in the future.

jenn0021: FX for O to happen very soon! and even more *FX* for you to feel good!

stlucia_wife: Lots of *Hugs*. It's so tough to look at those dates, and realize how long we've been on this journey! I hope you have a great time at the wedding, and drink away for me too!

mlal78: *FX* For AF to rear her ugly head. CD61 is rough! I hope your clotting panel gives you good results, so you can get off that bench.

raashton: Yay for CH's!! Lots of FX for a successful cycle!!

sammer818: I hope that this motivation has you find something to make you happy. sometimes it's just something small that you need to make things move to a more positive direction. I hope you find that thing.

wickedsugar: I am so sorry about CD1! *hugs*

killian09: Lots of hugs. My BFF is due any minute now, and I don't even know how to start handling that - so don't think that you are anything but normal for how you reacted. FX for this cycle!!

I am doing ok.

I am on 5DPO, our timing was decent, and I am once again totally terrified of discovering that I am pregnant. The truth is that the getting pregnant hasn't been hard, it's the keeping it. And I am pretty sick of my family and Dr. saying "Well, at least you can get pregnant" - Lots of good that does for me..

So I am on a 3WW currently, and in no rush to test, because as much as I want this rainbow baby, I feel like a part of my heart is ripped apart every time I miscarry again.

pkaren · October 2012

Hi Ladies, this is my first update, I'm looking forward to getting getting to know everyone better and for you guys to get to know me too.

Rawr- Welcome back from vacay and I'm glad you're starting to feel better. From what I've read from your posts it sounds like there's some big changes coming up that I hope is something for you to look forward too.

Jenn - I hate that you're feeling poopy again. I wish I had a magic wand to make you feel good. I hope the new clinic can find some answers for you. Also, I've been stalking your chart and FX you O soon!

stlucia - Boo for AF. She's a dirty hoar. GL for cycle 3 and have fun at the wedding! Drinking is my biggest silver lining right now!

mlal - I hope AF shows up for you soon! And also that the clotting panel turns up some answers. You took all those vials of blood like a champ! The most I've ever had is 7 and I almost passed out!

raashton - My FX are crossed super hard for you this cycle! GL!

Sammer - All it takes is one little sperm, so you still have a chance! I like the idea of a new start. Getting a new do and some clothes might be really refreshing.

Wicked - ((HUGS)) I've been following your posts for a long time and I know you've been through so much. I think you're a really strong woman to deal with everything and still come here to support the rest of us too. Thanks

Killian - ((HUGS)) I hope a counsellor can help you deal with your grief. I think a good cry once in awhile is totally okay and cathartic. Sometimes men don't get that and totally freak out when a woman gets emotional.

Funny Bunny - FX for this cycle! I hope you get your rainbow baby!

***newborn baby mentioned****

Well, I passed my EDD a few weeks ago and my next big "milestone" was my BFF who was due three weeks after me having her baby. She had him last Tuesday, so I went to her house (about an hr away from me) on Saturday to visit. I was so amazed by this little creature and how small he was. I was awed. Her husband pretty much pushed him into my arms when I got there and I held him the whole time. The funny thing was that I didn't want to let him go! I was in awe and so proud of my friend for pushing this little human out of her! I also brought them a box full of frozen meals.

Anyways, when I got home she sent me the most touching text. It said "I forgot to thank you again for the food - you are an amazing friend. I couldn't say this in person because I would have lost it crying, but thank you for being the person that you are for still being happy for me and supporting me even when things were so sad for you and T. You are so strong and you are going to be an amazing mother. I'm so lucky to have you in my life xoxo"

I had done a pretty good job with my emotions up until this point, then everything sort of came flooding in. I shoved down my emotions, I just didn't want to cry and DH happened to call right then too. I know he could sense I was sad, so he ended up picking up a bottle of wine for me on his way home. I love that man.

Anyways....it just really made me realize how I want a baby so so bad. I don't want to be sad anymore. Why can't things just be easy sometimes? For all of us?

Sorry this ended up being so long... Embarrassed I promise it won't happen every update! lol

raashton · October 2012

sammer818:

As for me, not too much going on. We had horrible timing this cycle (only BD on O-day), so I'm not hopeful at all. I'm thinking about trying to find a way to "start over" with my life. I've let my losses and TTC take over my life and define me. I also had 2 coworkers ask me if I was pregnant yesterday (aka - you've gained weight!). So I'm hoping to make some changes. I want to get a new haircut/color, focus on being healthy, and just trying to get back to doing things that I enjoy and that DH and I enjoy doing together...we'll see how it goes.

I'm so sorry for your co-workers being butts!

Changes sound like the would do you well! I hope that everything falls into place for those to happen and help you move forward inthe best way.

raashton · October 2012

wickedsugar:
CD1 is here, this cycle was a big fat colossal fail.. I don't know if I have it in me to really TTC again.. I don't know. I will respond to everyone else tonight when I get home.

I'm sorry for CD1. Hugs sweetie!

raashton · October 2012

killian09:
As for me, this past week has been pretty rough. My best friend had her baby on Monday. My DH and I visited her yesterday in the hospital same hospital where I've gone for my losses and it was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. I held it together while we were in the room but started to really ugly cry as soon as we were 2 steps out the door. Among my stupid vents related to this are that evidently one of the doctors I collaborate with spotted me in the elevator immediately after that ugly crying session. Embarrassing. My DH thinks I'm not "moving on" very effectively. He has a point. I've asked my OB for a referral to a counselor. I really want to be able to have a more positive relationship with my friend and her baby and a better outlook in general. I don't know if counseling will help, but I figure it can't hurt at this point. hopefully my OB will get back to me soon. Anyway I feel a little better now. I think it was a bit cathartic. And I'm about 2 dpo now so I'm trying to have a positive outlook for this cycle. ETA: the punctuation in this post is atrocious. Bump mobile has removed a lot of my characters. I'll try to fix it tonight when I'm on a real computer. Sorry!

I'm sorry that it was so hard to see your friend's baby. Husband's don't always understand the emotions these things dig up. But good for you for taking the steps to find more support!

raashton · October 2012

funny bunny:

I am doing ok.

I am on 5DPO, our timing was decent, and I am once again totally terrified of discovering that I am pregnant. The truth is that the getting pregnant hasn't been hard, it's the keeping it. And I am pretty sick of my family and Dr. saying "Well, at least you can get pregnant" - Lots of good that does for me..

So I am on a 3WW currently, and in no rush to test, because as much as I want this rainbow baby, I feel like a part of my heart is ripped apart every time I miscarry again.

I'm sorry for all the scars on your heart. I imagine it is so hard to keep hearing, "At least blah blah I'm an @ss that doesn't get it."

Much love and hugs!

raashton · October 2012

pkaren:

***newborn baby mentioned****

Well, I passed my EDD a few weeks ago and my next big "milestone" was my BFF who was due three weeks after me having her baby. She had him last Tuesday, so I went to her house (about an hr away from me) on Saturday to visit. I was so amazed by this little creature and how small he was. I was awed. Her husband pretty much pushed him into my arms when I got there and I held him the whole time. The funny thing was that I didn't want to let him go! I was in awe and so proud of my friend for pushing this little human out of her! I also brought them a box full of frozen meals.

Anyways, when I got home she sent me the most touching text. It said "I forgot to thank you again for the food - you are an amazing friend. I couldn't say this in person because I would have lost it crying, but thank you for being the person that you are for still being happy for me and supporting me even when things were so sad for you and T. You are so strong and you are going to be an amazing mother. I'm so lucky to have you in my life xoxo"

I had done a pretty good job with my emotions up until this point, then everything sort of came flooding in. I shoved down my emotions, I just didn't want to cry and DH happened to call right then too. I know he could sense I was sad, so he ended up picking up a bottle of wine for me on his way home. I love that man.

Anyways....it just really made me realize how I want a baby so so bad. I don't want to be sad anymore. Why can't things just be easy sometimes? For all of us?

Sorry this ended up being so long... I promise it won't happen every update! lol

I think your first update was great!

I'm glad that you have such an appreciative and sensitive friend. Those are so hard to find when fertility becomes the elephant in the room...

Good job for being so in tune Mr PKaren!

killian09 · October 2012

funny bunny, pkaren, and raashton--thank you for your kind words. You ladies always know how to make me feel like less of a crazy wreck.

pkaren--your strength with your friend and her baby is inspiring. I'm glad she appreciates your efforts and that you've been able to maintain a positive tone for your relationship. I'm planning to go over with a couple frozen meals to my friend tomorrow or Saturday, just have to make some lasagna first. I hope it is less stressful for me than the hospital visit was. I'm trying really hard to go through the motions, but I feel like it is obvious to all that I cannot muster the emotional enthusiasm for my friend that I otherwise would have had.

funny bunny--good luck with your friend's impending pg/birth and with the 3WW. I think your fears about being pg are totally normal. That is one of the very hard parts about all of this. And I seriously want to smack the people who have told me "at least you can get pregnant".

LilMaggs · October 2012

My husband broke his arm this morning. Mind you, last night he was talking about how he'd never broken a bone. When I said he just jinxed himself, he responded that jinxes were not real and that I was being superstitious/needed to stop being so paranoid. Yup, when I got the text I sat and laughed.

MandaS08 · October 2012

Hey ladies! It sounds like there are a few of us who need some extra hugs!

I'm on day 3 of stims for IVF 2.0. Egg retrevial will be something around the 14th. I'm trying to be optimissic, but damn its hard!

buckeyebaby814 · October 2012

Rawr08:
WOW, usually when I post this update there are not a lot of threads in between. What is going on? There is no way I am going to keep up with everything with all these posts. I sure miss the slow pace of our board... Any way, stepping off my soap box... kinda
We just got back from vaca, we had a good time. If I could find a job there I would probably move. Still NTNP, had a dream last night I was pregnant though. I decided I will not let my loss define me any more. It happened, and I think, finally, I am over it 4 1/2 years later.

RAWR- I'm glad you had a good time on your vacation! And some ::HUGS::. Life after loss is so hard and finding peace in your life is a big step.

Jenn0021- Sorry to hear the allergy testing did not give you any answers, I go next Thursday for allergy testing. Good luck this cycle!

stlucia_wife: I'm sorry about the failed cycle. I just hit the 2 years mark back in August and it was rough. Enjoy yourself at your friends wedding this week!

mlal78- Good luck with your upcoming appointments/getting results from testing! Waiting for those answers were hard.

raashton- Were you monitored on the clomid and did you have a trigger shot? Your RE can do an u/s and/or b/w if you're worried you did not O. I will say, even though clomid *can* mess with some people's temps, it was the most clear O I'd ever had when I was still charting. Good luck this cycle!

sammer-Sorry you feel this cycle was a bust. Although, to give you back some shred of hope, 2 of my BFP cycles, we only had sex O-2. Crazier things have happened- good luck! I understand what you mean about TTC/loss taking over your life and defining you. I get so self-conscious/upset when I *think* I see people look at my stomach. I instantly think that they're wondering if I am pregnant.

WS- So sorry about CD 1 Sad I hope your cycle is more predictable this time.

killian- That must have been so hard. ::HUGS:: Good luck with counseling and I hope it helps!

funny bunny- Good luck this cycle! I too, hate when people say that. Clearly, that's not the obstacle so saying something so ignorant does not help, people!

pkaren- I am so glad seeing your friend's baby was a positive experience for you. Sounds like she's a great friend too- recognizing how difficult that must have been for you.

MrsErin- Good luck TTCAL!!

LilMaggs- Oh no! It seems like karma hears people talking and puts them in their place Wink Was it a clean/easy break? Not that any breaks are easy, but hopefully he did not need surgery or anything! Many positive vibes for a swift and easy recovery! So how are you doing?

Manda- Best of luck with IVF 2.0! I hope the stims are doing their jobs and growing some beautiful eggs! When is your ER estimated to be?

ncchnat- I'm glad things are looking up for you health wise- how awful the last week sounded! Good luck with cycle!

minicheezburg · October 2012

Rawr08:

WOW, usually when I post this update there are not a lot of threads in between. What is going on? There is no way I am going to keep up with everything with all these posts. I sure miss the slow pace of our board... Any way, stepping off my soap box... kinda

We just got back from vaca, we had a good time. If I could find a job there I would probably move. Still NTNP, had a dream last night I was pregnant though. I decided I will not let my loss define me any more. It happened, and I think, finally, I am over it 4 1/2 years later.

I like that it has been more active but, that is just me. I hope vaca was awesmonetastic!

minicheezburg · October 2012

jenn0021:

I'm doing alright. I'm just getting over a cold and have been having a rough 2 weeks with all my digestion issues. I'm just waiting to O and hoping for the best. I had allergy testing done yesterday but the results didn't give us any indication on to what's going on with my health. I'm hoping to get into a clinic a couple hours from here and maybe get some help from them. I just want to feel better.

I am so sorry that you are sick and even more sorry you are have issues with your digestion again. That is a just a pain. I the clinic helps sweets!

minicheezburg · October 2012

stlucia_wife:

As for me AF showed her face. Onto cycle #3. I'm taking it really hard. Next month will be 2 years that we started trying. Other then that doing okay. Going to our 1st gay wedding this weekend. I'm over the moon to finally see these amazing men tie the knot. One good thing about AF is I can get drunk!

Boo to AF. I am so sorry you are having a hard time hitting 2 years. I remember thinking that I should be pg if not with my LO at that point and here I am ending my 3rd year. It all sucks. Huge hugs and have some wine for me.

minicheezburg · October 2012

mlal78:

For me, just waiting for AF to show up. I am on cd61, and rather hoping I O'd on cd54 so I can put this cycle behind me. Still TTA for the moment. I had my clotting panel done on Monday, and until we get the results back from that we are on the bench. Waiting on an appointment for genetic testing for dh and I as well.

I HATE long cycles. I will be telling AF to come on over for you. I hope the results are good for you guys so you can jump back in. GL

minicheezburg · October 2012

raashton:

As for me: I got CHs for my first cycle on Clomid. Apparently, I'm 3DPO. I'm trying not to get too happy/excited because my body has faked me out before. Our timing was good but I'm trying more to think of this as more an exploratory cycle. We shall see how this goes...

YAY for CH's, I have everything crossed for you but, I know what you mean on not getting too excited.

minicheezburg · October 2012

sammer818:

As for me, not too much going on. We had horrible timing this cycle (only BD on O-day), so I'm not hopeful at all. I'm thinking about trying to find a way to "start over" with my life. I've let my losses and TTC take over my life and define me. I also had 2 coworkers ask me if I was pregnant yesterday (aka - you've gained weight!). So I'm hoping to make some changes. I want to get a new haircut/color, focus on being healthy, and just trying to get back to doing things that I enjoy and that DH and I enjoy doing together...we'll see how it goes.

I can feel ya on the "starting over" thing. I am feeling like I want to re-create myself. I think we all can attest to letting our losses and TTC take over and I know I am tired of it. Wow I would have punches those co-workers. Umm for one rude and for two incredibly douchey. So very sorry love. Good for you for focusing on your health! Maybe we should partner up and push each other.

minicheezburg · October 2012

wickedsugar:
CD1 is here, this cycle was a big fat colossal fail.. I don't know if I have it in me to really TTC again.. I don't know. I will respond to everyone else tonight when I get home.

CD1 is rude and a jerk. Huge hugs lady, you know how I feel about this TTC sh!t.

minicheezburg · October 2012

killian09:

As for me, this past week has been pretty rough. My best friend had her baby on Monday. My DH and I visited her yesterday (in the hospital same hospital where I've gone for my losses) and it was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. I held it together while we were in the room but started to really ugly cry as soon as we were 2 steps out the door.

Among my stupid vents related to this are that evidently one of the doctors I collaborate with spotted me in the elevator immediately after that ugly crying session. Embarrassing.

My DH thinks I'm not "moving on" very effectively. He has a point. I've asked my OB for a referral to a counselor. I really want to be able to have a more positive relationship with my friend and her baby and a better outlook in general. I don't know if counseling will help, but I figure it can't hurt at this point. hopefully my OB will get back to me soon.

Anyway I feel a little better now. I think it was a bit cathartic. And I'm about 2 dpo now so I'm trying to have a positive outlook for this cycle.

I know many have said that counseling helped them. I think it is worth a shot. Hugs for you sweets.

minicheezburg · October 2012

funny bunny:

I am doing ok.

I am on 5DPO, our timing was decent, and I am once again totally terrified of discovering that I am pregnant. The truth is that the getting pregnant hasn't been hard, it's the keeping it. And I am pretty sick of my family and Dr. saying "Well, at least you can get pregnant" - Lots of good that does for me..

So I am on a 3WW currently, and in no rush to test, because as much as I want this rainbow baby, I feel like a part of my heart is ripped apart every time I miscarry again.

I kinda know what you mean with the "well at least you can get pg" thing. Except in my version I haven't been pg for 2 years and only once. That in itself is annoying. It's like seriously?

minicheezburg · October 2012

pkaren:

***newborn baby mentioned****

Well, I passed my EDD a few weeks ago and my next big "milestone" was my BFF who was due three weeks after me having her baby. She had him last Tuesday, so I went to her house (about an hr away from me) on Saturday to visit. I was so amazed by this little creature and how small he was. I was awed. Her husband pretty much pushed him into my arms when I got there and I held him the whole time. The funny thing was that I didn't want to let him go! I was in awe and so proud of my friend for pushing this little human out of her! I also brought them a box full of frozen meals.

Anyways, when I got home she sent me the most touching text. It said "I forgot to thank you again for the food - you are an amazing friend. I couldn't say this in person because I would have lost it crying, but thank you for being the person that you are for still being happy for me and supporting me even when things were so sad for you and T. You are so strong and you are going to be an amazing mother. I'm so lucky to have you in my life xoxo"

I had done a pretty good job with my emotions up until this point, then everything sort of came flooding in. I shoved down my emotions, I just didn't want to cry and DH happened to call right then too. I know he could sense I was sad, so he ended up picking up a bottle of wine for me on his way home. I love that man.

Anyways....it just really made me realize how I want a baby so so bad. I don't want to be sad anymore. Why can't things just be easy sometimes? For all of us?

Sorry this ended up being so long... I promise it won't happen every update! lol

So happy that you made it through that. She sounds like a great friend. I too wish it was even a little easier.

minicheezburg · October 2012

MrsErinH:

As for me, I posted above - we are finally TTC!!!! I'm so excited and I go for my first monitoring appt today to make sure I don't have any cysts Everything is finally getting going!

YAY for TTC! GL at your appointment and for this cycle!!

minicheezburg · October 2012

LilMaggs:
My husband broke his arm this morning. Mind you, last night he was talking about how he'd never broken a bone. When I said he just jinxed himself, he responded that jinxes were not real and that I was being superstitious/needed to stop being so paranoid. Yup, when I got the text I sat and laughed.

I laughed at this, it is nice to know I am not the only one that laughs when their DH put their foot in their mouth. Hope he is doing well.

minicheezburg · October 2012

MandaS08:

Hey ladies! It sounds like there are a few of us who need some extra hugs!

I'm on day 3 of stims for IVF 2.0. Egg retrevial will be something around the 14th. I'm trying to be optimissic, but damn its hard!

GL and FX

minicheezburg · October 2012

ncchnat:

As for me, I'm just waiting to O. I had food poisoning last weekend and I have a yeast infection that seems to finally be drying up. I could use a break about now, so hopefully it's gone before O and O doesn't hold out like it did last month and mess with my head.

Come on O!! Boo to food poisoning. That is horrible. So sorry.

minicheezburg · October 2012

Now for me, I am not quite sure how I am right now. I made it through my loss anniversary just fine and then that night I read to DH some nice things friend had said and he started tearing and we had a moment and he said that he doesn't wanna give up yet and we still have tests to do.

Then last night I found out someone I literally HATE is 7 weeks. I posted details above.

Then I found out DH knew and didn't tell me. He doesn't understand why that hurts me and we had a fight. One where he said "well maybe we don't deserve kids either". Me </3. I just don't know that I wanna do this anymore. I am so torn. What do I do listen to heart or head? Jan will start our 4th year of trying with one 6 week break in between. I think I may look into some counseling of my own.

Huge everyone!!

Bi-Monthly 6+ Wine and Cheese Party (updates)

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