Separation Anxiety
Athena0809
member
Yes, it's me again 
Since I'm a SAHM, DS and I spend pretty much every second together--even at night since we bedshare. I'm back in school and on the days I have class he stays with either my mom or DH. My point is, he is never with "strangers" let alone with a group of other kids (we go to story time and do play dates but I'm always there with him.) The other day my aunt watched him for 2 hours and although DS knows her, sees her regularly, had never stayed with her. She told me he pretty much cried the whole time 
And even when I leave him with grandma when I come home he starts crying as in "you left me!" and will get very clingy. even with DH sometimes, if we are both home he wants only mama.
I want to start going to the gym in the mornings(typically I go at night so DH watches him) so I would have to leave him in the kids room, but I'm afraid he will cry, and that thought makes me uneasy. So how do WE both get over our separation anxiety? share your wisdom!
Re: Separation Anxiety
Audrey had pretty severe separation anxiety, she wouldn't last 10 minutes in the gym daycare. Whenever I would leave her with DH she would be fine but as soon as I came back she would cry because I left her. Since DD#2 is due in 2 weeks I had to do something about her anxiety. About a month I started taking her to things like story time 3 days a week. The first time she was terrified and clung to me. However each time we go I try to get a little further away from her. She eventually became comfortable enough with one of the story tellers that she even let the story teller pick her up.
My inlaws just got into town to take care of her when the baby comes. It took a few days of constant contact with them before she was happy enough to let me leave her alone with them. At this point it seems like she has a great time with them until she sees or hears me. As long as I stay hidden in another room she is fine. I have been leaving the house a few hours at a time and she has so far handled it well. Or at least my inlaws aren't telling me she is crying if she is. I'm going to be an absolute mess when I'm in the hospital and don't get to put her to bed.
Separation anxiety is so hard. :-( We lived with my parents for 5 months over the summer- they both work FT, but were home often in the evenings and on weekends. It took DD a month before she was ok with us leaving her alone with my mom, and 4 months (!!!!!) before she was ok with my dad picking her up and carrying her around.
I think the way usually recommended to at least reduce sep.anx. is to acclimate your child to the environment while you're there. As they get more comfortable with it, leave the room for 30 sec, a minute, etc, in increasing time increments. Not necessarily all in one day, but just as your child is comfortable with it. So maybe you could take him to the gym kids' room and stay with him the first couple of days while he gets used to everything. Then when he's comfortable enough to wander off, leave the room for a minute and come back in. As he gets used to you going and coming back, it *should* get easier to leave for longer periods of time, and hopefully eventually long enough for you to actually do your workout!
There are really no guarantees, though. :-/
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence