Late Term and Child Loss

How long are people going to say stupid things to me???

I was talking with a woman I work with today, about Vivian and October being pregnancy & infant loss awareness month.  She said i didn't know October was that, the she actually said to me "why would I know that?why should I know that"?wha?????  I about fell over!  I told her pregnancy loss is a topic avoided by society because it make them uncomfortable. Then she said "aren't you supposed to forget about this and move on?  My sister's son died and eventually she had to just understand he was gone and move one".  I was SO pissed!!  I wanted to tell her well I bet she didn't move one 2 1/2 months later!!  Am I expected to move one quicker because Vivian was born sleeping? Really lady???   GRRRRR!!!!!!!! 

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EDD: 12/07/2013  M/C 05/30/2013 & 05/31/2013
EDD:  07/01/2016 Born sleeping: 03/02/2016



Re: How long are people going to say stupid things to me???

  • She just sounds like a b*tch in general. I would avoid talking to her period.
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  • Wow. Just wow. What a B.!.T.C.H.!!! And I highly doubt her sister has "moved on". It's not something you "get over" like a cold! She probably just realized what a douch her sister is and doesn't talk to her about it any more. I would stay away from her in the future. You don't need to hear that sh!t.

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  • I've had a couple of people ask my husband why I'm still upset about things; there was nothing I could do about the loss and I just needed to move on. I told my husband it was a good thing I wasn't there, because I would've smacked them.

    I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. PP is right; people can be ridiculously ignorant when they just don't get it. 

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  • Sadly, this is what most people think.  We are supposed to "move on" "get over it" "have another baby".

    Sometimes I feel like having a stillborn baby is worse because there is such a stigma surrounding it.  People often don't think of our babies as "real" and that is so hard.  I was explaining to friend that I felt my future family would always be incomplete and any other children I might have will always have a sister they will never know.  And she said "So, you really believe she is like your first baby?". WTF.  

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  • I can't answer your question for you, but I think that people just do not know what to say at times and they just DO NOT get it. Not making excuses for her, but just trying to help you understand her inappropriate statements. If you talked to her sister, she would probably give you the real story. A woman in my church recently came up to me to give me a hug and told me that she lost a baby at 7.5 months. The tears were evident in her 68 year old eyes. 
  • unfortunately i think it continues for a while...even my own mama still says ignorant stuff.
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