Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
greenhope
member
Re: TFAS How long will you try?
What do you mean when you say this? Do you mean because if you try past the summer there will be more than a 3 year age gap? Why should the age gap matter to anyone else?
We are also TTC for #2. To answer your question, we don't have a set time frame. We would probably try for a year or two, and then look into it further if need be. We are young though (25) so we are in no rush.
We are TFAS and there is not a set "we'll try until" point. We will see what happens and broach that issue if we come to it.
5 months isn't really that long. Especially 5 months with no charting. And don't feel guilty or like you have to answer to other people. If you think that you will try until next summer then give up, that's your deal. Honestly, if anyone asked me and had an attitude about it I'd just say "we were unable to have a second" and leave it at that. You don't have to say what timeline you were unable to have a second in. It's none of their business.
We don't have a set time frame. DD is 13 months now and I figure we'll actively try for a few years. I'd love to give her a sibling but if nothing happens within a few years then we'll revisit our decision but for now, I'd assume I'll try until it happens or until I can no longer get pregnant.
We don't have a time frame. DD is 6 already so the age gap is already pretty big. I think if we aren't pregnant by July (that will be a year) we will at least get testing done, but not sure how far we will go. The only thing on my mind is that I turned 30 in Aug, so it makes me a little nervous, but we have only been trying for 3 cycles.
Gl to you!
Sorry, I'm all over the place. I mean if we only try until summer and are not successful and decide one child is enough that our family or whoever might suggest we didn't try hard enough. My mil has comment that we can't just have one child. Its not fair to our son. I realize her opinion just doesn't matter but I know the questions will come. I feel insecure that if I don't exhaust all options off ttc then I'm not giving it enough of a chance, that I'm not trying hard enough to give ds a sibling.
CLOMID: 4 rounds, 50mg + TI = BFN's. FEMARA: 1 round = no response
12-24-2012 : Laparoscopy, Softball sized cyst/endo/scar tissue removed.
Cycle #14 - Feb 2013 : 50mg clomid. Ovidrel Trigger. IUI on 2/14/13 = thin lining, multiple cysts.
Cycle #16 actively trying (May/June): Femara, TI = BFN
Cycle #17- #20 - Med/Treatment break, trying on our own = BFN's all around.
Cycle #21 - Femara, MORE Femara, Ovidrel and a Christmas IUI = BFN
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
We have plenty of time to worry about the age gap.
Baby Chugging born 12.28.13
induction due to HELLP
Also wanted to clarify my comment about being an only child and wanting to have a sibling for my DD: I did always want a sibling myself as a child, and felt strongly about having more than one myself -- if I could. My parents had IF issues after me and me being an only wasn't out of choice by them. Some things just can't be helped, and you absolutely should not beat yourself up about that. Don't let your MIL make you feel bad about anything either!
I recommend decaf.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Hahaha! I can definitely appreciate this comment. I know how I sound. Thanks for the laugh ;
My DH and I also talked about it and decided we would go as far as fertility drugs and IUI, but we would not do IVF. Our insurance will pay up to 15,000 of IF treatment. We have decided if it gets to that point we will foster and adopt.
We really want to give DS a sibling, but we want to help other children instead of taking up a spot at and the time of an RE that could go to a couple that wants to have their first. Does that make sense?
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have
I like our family of three just fine and if that's what we ultimately end up with, I'm okay with that. At least I think so. I don't see myself going to great lengths to TFAS, but you never know. I also have a personal cutoff in my head that I don't want to be AMA, i.e. older than 35, but I still have five years left so I'm not too worried about it.
I will keep trying until #2 is in my arms. I have always imagined having two children, in 10 years I see us as a family of 4.
TTC is stressful, but as long as DH and I remain healthy we will keep going. FWIW, I don't temp, chart, check CM. I just use OPK and have sex when we want.
This is our fifth cycle also.
Somehow I knew you'd be the one to call me out.
First, you're right - but let me explain the roots. I'm talking specifically about secondary infertility, where the same couple that got pregnant the first time with no intervention can no longer get pregnant without intervention. I was told by my OB that secondary infertility is "unlikely."
But I don't know the stats, I didn't do any research, and I sure as hell don't know if I just happened to get lucky the first time around. I made a pretty broad blanket statement and I humbly withdraw it; I hate spewed nonsense 'round here and I shouldn't be a contributor.
We will try until it happens or told that it can't. We are on month 10 and have the same attitude about it as the 1st month, just doing what we can and seeing what happens.