- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Adoption
silliestbunny
member
Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
Need a book rec :)
silliestbunny
member
in Adoption
Spin off of Jillian's post--
I am looking for a some parenting books for tackling the toddler years (specifically young toddler like 18-30 months). We are in full fit throwing mode these days and I just want to do my best.
Blogs are great too 
Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 monthsThis discussion has been closed.
Re: Need a book rec :)
I first will say, I have NOT read this book. However, my friends with toddlers have all recommended it. "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. He wrote "The Happiest Baby on the Block" - which I have read but have not yet used.
Good luck!
1-2-3 Magic was a game-changer for us. We just read the book, but I see the website has videos and other stuff to help. It really helped us get M's tantrums under control, although we don't really do the whole program.
Mostly, it taught us to issue warnings, and then consequence bad behavior if it doesn't stop--without conversations, explanations, guilt, debates, negotiations, etc. We don't count, and we do address behaviors in conversations at a later if necessary, but never in the moment, because all it does is escalate the situation.
Also, as a background (although it's really too early for you to use it with your sweeties), Parenting With Love And Logic really helped my husband and I develop the kind of discipline we wanted to use with our children: real life consequences for behavior, both good and bad, to teach responsibility. The book really helped me take a step back and remember that kids are supposed to act out, test limits, and break rules. It's how they learn about why rules exist, that they have to respect authority, how much impact they have in the world, and that there are consequences for their actions. Once I really accepted that reality, I found myself getting less angry when the boys misbehave. I may be upset, but even that is tempered, because I know they are, for the most part, learning from their actions, and its my job to impose appropriate consequences along the way. It doesn't have to ruin either of our days, it just is what has to happen.
FWIW I'll throw out a favorite book of mind that isn't yet applicable in our world--
The Blessing of Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogul, PhD.
I am sort of a nut about religion (all religions even though I am a practicing Roman Catholic) so this is esp appealing to me. She refers to the Torah and Talmud) in the foundations of raising strong and caring little people. Her philosophy is to let children learn lessons in the real world and not be overprotective parents.
I got Your Toddler Month by Month and I really liked it. I've read through it a couple of times. It's edited by a cognitive neuroscientist, so she spends a lot of time explaining brain development and why your child is acting they way they do. To be honest, it has helped *me* by giving me patience when DD acts out now and again. It helps me remember that her brain can only handle so much, and how to better communicate with her.
These, as well as How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
This is in line with Love and Logic, except that the book focuses on how to raise children to be responsible, by giving them lots of choices and having them live with the consequences--both good and bad--of the decisions they make. The book looks at both helicopter parenting and authoritative parenting and talks about why neither of these methods works well after the parent is no longer playing a huge part in the child's everyday life. The main point of the book is to teach children to make good choices on their own, because they will result in positive, real-life consequences.
The authors of Love and Logic wrote the book from a religious background, but the book does not dwell on the religious perspective at all, and is therefore very adaptable for people from all walks. One of the authors has come under a lot of fire because one of his sons committed suicide, but I don't think that really has much baring into whether or not his parenting techniques are solid.