uninvited guest at shower?

aly462 · October 2012

I posted this on the baby shower board as well...I am asking for a little advice on this matter: My shower is a "surprise" being given by my mother. One of my invited guests asked if she could bring one of her friends to my shower. Or was possibly just going to show up with her. The uninvited person is going through a rough time and my friend didnt want her to be lonely this weekend. Here are my issues: If my shower is a surprise how do i allow her to bring someone?I also feel that it was rude to even ask and basically tell me when my surprise shower is. I really want nothing to do with this but I do not want her calling my mother about this or pssibly showing up with an uninvuted person. I am unsure how to handle this and I dont know if i am just being unsympathetic to her friend. Any advice would be helpful!!

laurapacheco · October 2012

I would probably tell her that it's fine to bring the friend, but since this is supposed to be a surprise shower to please not tell your mom she spoke with you about it.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed · October 2012

I feel like she should have asked the hostess, not you. That person is the hostess for a reason., and is planning around so many guests as far as food, space etc. I know one person won't make a difference, but it's common courtesy to ask the hostess, not the guest of honor.Especially if it is a "surprise."

But now that she has asked you, if you're ok with it, I guess let her bring her friend.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · October 2012

So...your cousin knows this is supposed to be a surprise, and chose to call you and ask you directly about this and proceeds to tell you when the shower is?! What an ass!

Since your mom is throwing the party, and is the one aware of whether this person can come or not, then your cousin needs to call your mom about this, and you need to tell your cousin not to tell your mom that you know when the shower is going to be. I think it is rude of her to ask at all, but am even more appalled that she asked you instead of your mother.

Alyssa102 · October 2012

I agree with PP, she should have asked the hostess, especially if she knew it was a surprise. But what's done is done and if it doesn't bother you then tell her she can invite her friend.

drpayne · October 2012

Agree with all of the above. She sounds like a jackass.

simplein06 · October 2012

I personally would not want people at the shower that I did not know. if it is a smaller shower I would tell her that it would awkward to have someone that wasn't a close friend or family.

She should have called your mom, but at this point I would address the issue and tell her not to bring the friend (and if necessary stay home) so that your mom doesn't find out that you know. If your mom is anything like mine she would be upset to find out the surprise was ruined

clariknittist · October 2012

Did I read this right? Did she ruin the surprise by asking you this kind of iffy question??! Oh man. Your mom would likely be so disappointed to know it happened that way...I would almost be tempted to relieve the girl from even coming - I'd probably say something like "Don't feel obligated to come, especially if your friend needs some support right now. We'll catch up another time" - but then again, my extended family isn't super-close, so it would totally fly for me...

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