Adoption questions

tw0m0mmies · October 2012

We have never really looked into adoption before, but I have been thinking about it lately. I dont even know really where you start, how to tell legit agency from not...really looking for any information, links etc. I literally have no clue where to begin, and google brings up about 212028302834 websites to sort thru! Thanks much

ctbride08 · October 2012

Try the FAQs on the adoption board. basically, the summary is this:

1. Adoption from foster care: all states allow gay foster parents but check your state for laws regarding gay adoption. in states where it is not allowed, couples get around it by having one mom adopt the children then possibly pursue a second parent adoption later - there are many factors to consider there. Adopting from foster care is free/low cost but it has the highest risk in terms of children being reunified with their birth parents or other biological family. There can also be significant wait time depending upon the type of child/ren you are looking to adopt.

2. Domestic Adoption: plenty of gay-friendly agencies available. you'll have to take into account state specifics regarding gay adoption here too. Cost ranges from approx $15k through $25k+ depending upon race, agency, and in utero exposure. You can also pursue a domestic adoption through an independent lawyer avoiding the need for an agency, but there are many pros and cons to that scenario. The majority of domestic adoptions being finalized these days are some type of open adoption so I would recommend researching that and evaluating your comfort level before pursuing this route.

3. International Adoption: this is the hardest type of adoption to pursue for gay families. Many of the most well-known countries for IA do not allow gay families to adopt, or if they do it is only for older or special needs children. The way some couples get around this is to have one of the people adopt as a single person - but there are very big risks involved here. Cost varies widely based on country and program but when considering travel expenses, its typically more expensive than domestic adoption. Also, wait times can be very long (years).