Just one Child

Greyhound78 · October 2012

We have a 4 year old son and after going back and forth for a year now, we decided not to have anymore children. Is that really such a crime?

PhilsWife07 · October 2012

Who said it was a crime?

LoCarb · October 2012

:::Gasp?!::: Stick out tongue I believe one child families is becoming the norm. I was reminded of this Time Mag article from 2010. The days of having multiple children for farming labor is behind us.

https://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2002530-1,00.html

gopackmom · October 2012

Coming from an only child, I think it is absolutely your choice! My DH and I have a 3 1/2 year old and are currently trying for #2, and honestly, I'm nervous that I won't know what to do with 2! I always said I wanted a sibling for my son, but that is our choice, just like having one is your choice. Besides, only children ROCK!

MirandaHobbes · October 2012

I'm glad to hear positives- we are one and done too. I worry for DS that he's going to become spoiled.. he just always has our ear whenever he wants it. He never has to share and is used to getting his way. DH and I need to work hard to make sure he doesn't get out of hand.

A cousin of mine is an only child- his parents bent over backwards to make sure he was spending time with cousins and friends. Like whenever they went on vacation they'd pay the way for a cousin or friend to come with. Lucky for them they were rich, lol.

I worry that I'll change my mind when I'm 50 and all empty housed and lonely. But for the immediate future we're pretty stoked that we get to sleep all night and will be soon done with most of our daycare costs!

macchiatto · October 2012

We have twins so the decision was out of our hands, but I think there's nothing wrong with having an only child. I love having siblings, personally, but it's not the only way to do things. I think there are pros and cons to every family combination.

Greyhound78 · October 2012

Same here?I can sleep in, spend money?and we?ll be practically rich by the time he goes to public school and drop that huge daycare bill. But what will happen when my eggs go bad and I regret it???

MirandaHobbes · October 2012

I've thought about this too and I've satiated my nerves by telling myself we can always adopt. If I'm old(er) anyway, I think I'd be interested in adopting an older child, through the foster system. I've informally checked it out and talked to DH about it, and we agreed it could be an option down the line. My son has autism, and if we have any more biological children we're at a huge risk (he is also over 40, which adds to the risk). The bottom line is that the thought of having another baby right now makes me break out in a rash. If I "change my mind" later on I have to be okay with the fact that at this point in our lives, we were pretty d@mn sure. I can't really imagine my husband, who is even more opposed to more kids than me, suddenly changing my mind as he gets closer to 50.

ETA: And yes, we're practically giddy at the thought of all the money we're going to come into when DS starts school! We just calculated it the other night- when he starts kindy in the fall our expense will be cut in half. When he starts 1st grade it'll be cut by 75%. Even going fulltime in the summer it will be half the cost of what we pay now! <squealing!>

DoughGirl · October 2012

Certainly not. We are one and done. No regrets. Our family is complete. I don't feel the need to justify it to anyone.

Paigeo · October 2012

We are one and done for a variety of reasons. No regrets. Our family feels complete. DD is 4.5 and I really couldn't imagine starting over with a newborn now.

Stackeye210 · October 2012

I get the "when are you going to have another one" question all the time! J is going to be 5 in one week. We haven't decided, the time just doesn't feel right and it may never. I have hit my parenting stride with her and love every second. I just don't get the big discussions only having one child has.

Plus, to me, pregnancy was probably the worst experience ever, so I would be fine never going through that again.

lawry13 · October 2012

We are one and done. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, but we get asked a lot "are you sure you aren't going to change your mind?". Yes, I am sure!

njbride0603 · October 2012

I'm an only child and I loved my childhood....I did always want a sibling but I found that in cousins and my parent's friend's kids. My parents were able to give me a lot too b/c of it but I did get told NO all the time. I was not spoiled to the point of being a brat. After we had our first I knew I wanted a sibling for her b/c of never having one myself. We have two girls and we are done. the question we always get is if we are going to try for a boy so there will always be something people can ask about. Its definitely a personal choice....for me I would love a third but we couldn't afford it plus after having two I'm not sure if I would be able to manage three and work full time!