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3rd Trimester
Should I be upset? LONG
One of my friends is pregnant her due date is Jan 29 and mine Dec 1st. When she found out I was pregnant at the same time as her she started texting me more often (we hardly talked before).
One: When I found out I was having a Girl, she still had a couple more weeks to find out what she was having. When she found out she was expecting a Boy she got really depressed. She started texting me about how she wants a girl, she doesn't want to keep the baby etc etc. I had a MC last year so I sort of talked her out of thinking like that, we're blessed to have healthy babies!! (it was harder because she doesn't know what it feels like to have a mc)
Two: I thought it would be fun to help each other with baby names. I suggested some baby boy names that I LOVE! I mean I'm not having a boy so I thought I could share them with her. She suggested some names, and also said the names I can't use because she wanted to use them if her baby was a girl. So that annoyed me and I completely cut off the baby name thing with her.
Three: I sent out my baby shower inviations last night. She texted me saying how she's so excited to see how I decorate my baby shower. I let her know that my mom is planning most of it and she will probably be doing most of that. She's also already planning her baby shower, and let me know that she's going all out talked to me about how her cake is going to be customed made and it costed her $400. I hate comparing! Well point is! She told me that her baby shower is Dec 1st (same date as my dute date). I had already told her I was excited to attend her baby shower too but when she told me the date I got sort of bummed. Like her due date is Jan 29, we live in CA so it doesn't get too cold here in winter. She joked about my water breaking while I was at her baby shower....
Maybe I'm just super annoyed with the whole thing already! Should I be upset that she's planning her baby shower that same exact date? I obviously don't want to tell her to change the date because that's not up to me.....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Should I be upset? LONG
It sounds like from her past behavior that you shouldn't be surprised that she didn't think of you when picking her baby shower date. Should you be mad? No, not really. Yeah, it sucks that she didn't consider you when picking the date but she seems like a selfish person as it is (I mean, she's planning her own shower...
), and the fact is that she isn't obligated to choose a date that works best for YOU, even though you are her friend.
Personally, I wouldn't even go, but I don't support selfish people.
I would take a step back also from the relationship if it is bothering you. Some people do like to compare and as annoying as it is, some I think just can't help it.
As far as the shower date, I wouldn't be all butt hurt about it, its about 4 weeks before her due date, you don't know if you will have had your baby by then or not. I would just tell her you hope to be able to make it but if not, I'd have a gift ready to give to her one way or another.
'Til He returns, or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I stand.
I'm guessing she picked the date on what would work best for the majority of people she knows will be attending and that it doesn't have anything to do with it being your due date. That part wouldn't bother me at all.
The disappointment over not have a girl would have upset me.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
The first two things would've annoyed me. The baby shower thing wouldn't. I don't think anyone should plan a shower around someone else's due date. My sister was due Oct. 1 and I picked Oct. 6th for a shower date (that my mom/aunt are throwing). My mom said the same thing about my sister not being able to go...well, she had the baby two Mondays ago. My nephew will be staying at home with BIL for a couple hours and my sister will be at my shower. Around here, it's normal for people to have showers around 2 months before their due dates to have time to organize and get ready for the baby.
That said, it's EXTREMELY tacky to throw your own shower, much less with a $400 cake. It's not a wedding!
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
No, I wouldn't be upset that her shower is the same as your due date. You guys don't seem that close anyway, so it probably won't be a big deal if you make it or not.
As for the boy/girl comment your friend made about being disappointed. I wouldn't put too much into that b/c maybe she was just venting and shocked. I had one friend who really did have to work at being happy about having a boy for 2-3 weeks b/c she was so wanting a girl.
...baby #3 is here...
Lon. I think it should be illegal to disclose the sex of the baby and that we should all be "team green."