Posted in April 2013: I Don't Want to Lie: Running Advice Needed

demmie326 · October 2012

I posted this in April 2013 but I figured there must be a running mom who has been in a similar situation.....

I spent all summer training for the Chicago Marathon before finding out that we were expecting again. All of our family, friends, neighbors, coworkers,etc knew that I was training and with the race this weekend we have been flooded with comments and questions about the race. Here is where the problem comes in....

There have been a couple of complications with this pregnancy so we have opted to not share the pregnancy with people outside of our immediate family until closer to 20 weeks...assuming I can hide it that long. Obviously I will not be running this weekend but I don't know what to say to people. I don't want to lie as hopefully in a couple of weeks we will be able to share our good news or people will figure it out but at the same time we are not ready to share.

Have you had a friend lie to you about a pregnancy...how did you feel/did it change your relationship? My gut tells me most people would understand but I worry about hurting someone's feelings.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

JG362009 · October 2012

Even though my first pregnancy was planned, I completely freaked out and didn't tell my parents or sister until 20 weeks. They were hurt and surprised at first, but by the time the baby was born no one cared and now no one even mentions it. It seriously will not matter to them once they see the baby. What are they losing? Not knowing about something for a few months won't matter! On a side note, sure what your complications have been but I ran a marathon around 8 weeks and it was okay so if you're still dying to do Chicago (which is a great marathon, BTW!), you might be able to.

carlab44 · October 2012

I didn't tell anyone (besides DH) about the first pregnancy until 16ish weeks, and didn't most people about the second until 12 weeks. I definitely think people will understand, and maybe you can come up with a way where you don't feel like you are outright lying. Say something along the lines that after having some issues during training your doctor thought it was best that you sat this race out.

pantsarella · October 2012

In your situation, I might say that you're having some IT Band issues or something and you didn't want to injure anything. Then if anyone asks you can say you're doing stretching/foam rolling and you're planning to run X race on X day, but until then, you're sticking to short distances.

I wouldn't feel hurt by it. How much longer do you have until you hit 20 weeks? Honestly, if it was more than a couple weeks, I wouldn't even think twice about it! If anyone says anything, just tell them the truth. There were complications and you didn't feel comfortable talking about it. Anyone worthwhile would understand that.

tasiaceleste · October 2012

I skipped out on Hood to Coast claiming to have a knee issue when I was about 8 weeks pregnant. I needed to notify the team so they could find a replacement.

In your case, you could always wait till the day after to tell people you didn't run it because you had some kind of stomach bug (hey, morning sickness to the rescue!). I prefer not to lie... stretching the truth (pick from the list of typical pregnancy complaints: queasiness, GI distress, hip pain, low back issues, headache, fatigue, etc.) might feel better.

KateLouise · October 2012

Could you fudge the truth a little. eg, "i didn't feel up to running on the day, and I'd rather do it properly or not at all."

Then when they ask what was wrong. You can just say you felt fatigued for a few days leading into it, and like your body wouldn't cope, and you've learnt to listen to your body. Which being pregnant is almost certainly true.

Then when the truth comes out, they'll be all, "ahhhh that's what she meant by "fatigued" Plus if you explain that there have been issues with the pregnancy, then people will surely understand.

and if they don't understand...then they suck.

whynotwhynot · October 2012

It sounds like you have put a lot of work into training. It might feel good to do part of the race...there is nothing requiring you to finish once you start the race. You could go as far as you feel comfortable with and then quit. When people ask about the race you can say you were just not up to finishing the race that day.

mrs.mastro · October 2012

whynotwhynot:
It sounds like you have put a lot of work into training. It might feel good to do part of the race...there is nothing requiring you to finish once you start the race. You could go as far as you feel comfortable with and then quit. When people ask about the race you can say you were just not up to finishing the race that day.

I agree. I think you would be glad you at least went out for it and enjoyed yourself without overexerting yourself. If it were me, I would be totally bummed about not doing the race after putting so much training in. I'm thrilled to be pregnant, but I can't help being bummed that I won't PR my Turkey Trot this year!

aadewitt · October 2012

pantsarella:
In your situation, I might say that you're having some IT Band issues or something and you didn't want to injure anything. Then if anyone asks you can say you're doing stretching/foam rolling and you're planning to run X race on X day, but until then, you're sticking to short distances.
I wouldn't feel hurt by it. How much longer do you have until you hit 20 weeks? Honestly, if it was more than a couple weeks, I wouldn't even think twice about it! If anyone says anything, just tell them the truth. There were complications and you didn't feel comfortable talking about it. Anyone worthwhile would understand that.

I would do something like this. Were there any running related issues you had during training that your friends/coworkers heard you complain about? I actually ran the Chicago marathon back in 07 (yes the 95 degree one) before I got PG (DS is 2 months old) I was a running freak, but because we were TTC I didn't sign up for any half marathons until weeks until the race, a few races I normally do I actually couldn't do cus of other plans. (DH bought be tix to see a play the night before a race...)

I had a m/c last summer so I totally get why youd want to wait to tell anyone, and although last xmas I was 8 weeks and ppl asked how it was going, if I was pg again...I just told them that we were trying again and didnt' want to risk anything (by not drinking) everyone understood why we didn't tell them until later.

But if I were you- Id def make up some injury story or something, hey sometimes you gotta tell a white lie. Sucks that you paid the fee and did all the training not to do it, but theres always next yr (or the yr after that...)

creativeaim · October 2012

I guess you could run the race at a slower pace than you would have pre-pregnancy! Just run by feel and listen to your body.

Though, I don't know what kind of complications you have been going through, so that may change things. Just keep baby #1 priority

It would be hard to lie to people about pregnancy because I'm a horrible liar... I start laughing and smirk right every time. I'm not sure how friends would react to a lie about pregnancy, but I think once they knew WHY you were keeping it on the down-low, they would be happy regardless!

cwm11985 · October 2012

mrs.mastro:
whynotwhynot:
It sounds like you have put a lot of work into training. It might feel good to do part of the race...there is nothing requiring you to finish once you start the race. You could go as far as you feel comfortable with and then quit. When people ask about the race you can say you were just not up to finishing the race that day.
I agree. I think you would be glad you at least went out for it and enjoyed yourself without overexerting yourself. If it were me, I would be totally bummed about not doing the race after putting so much training in. I'm thrilled to be pregnant, but I can't help being bummed that I won't PR my Turkey Trot this year!

I agree, do part of the race and walk if you need to. You can tell people you have shin splints.

NapJunkie · October 2012

I would stick to a vague explanation like "I've had some health issues crop up recently that kept me from participating in the race this year." If people press for details explain that you don't want to talk about it. Most people understand not wanting to discuss personal health issues.

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Posted in April 2013: I Don't Want to Lie: Running Advice Needed

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