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Blended Families
HChad
member
Why would the ExW Subpoena the 2nd Wife?
HChad
member
Hi All,
I'm a newbie to all this and in a sticky situation. Very long story short, my DH has a 7 yr old DD with his ExW. Due to the economy, he had to move from FL to MN to find work. ExW refuses to allow their DD to visit MN. The parenting plan has been completely changed (by trickery on ExW's part and DH not asking questions) from what was agreed to, so there currently DH has 0 visitation unless ExW allows it. There is a hearing in 13 days, which ExW subpoena'ed me. I think the ExW wants to up the CS, which I don't have a problem with. DH and I will work out anything we have to and SD deserves to be supported by her Daddy. I have no idea what she is trying to accomplish (I am the only witness to the signing of the new parenting plan, which she didn't show DH, claiming it was relocation paperwork for their move to GA).
My question is: Why would she subpoena me? My finances are not involved and I have states, repeatedly, that I want to be left out of their disagreements regarding SD. My only concern is for her to become a happy, healthy person.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Why would the ExW Subpoena the 2nd Wife?
The only thing I can say is if you have an attorney, discuss anything and everything with the attorney.
As for the subpoena, the only thing I can say is be truthful, honest and fair for both sides. Be as neutral as possible. If you say you were the only witness to the signing of the agreement, but the DH never saw it...then attest to that. Also attest to her not allowing visitation and anything else that is factual and true.
Wish you the best of luck.
For what it's worth, I would not allow my 7-yo to travel by himself across the country either. We are also long distance (TN to CA), and XH either travels here or someone flies w/ DS to CA.
How is there a parenting plan YH signed that he didn't see?
She could have had you subpoenaed for any number of reasons. It might just be the usual practice for the attorney. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, though.
It sounds like the attorney and Ex-wife might be laying the groundwork to have you testify as to the living conditions, DH's work schedule, etc to establish what visits with DH would be like. That or ex-wife thinks your husband makes more money than he is disclosing and they want to you testify how things are paid for and how much he actually makes.
I agree with PP: check with your attorney. In most States, spouses can claim "spousal privilege" and not testify against their spouses. I don't mean to be incredibly personal, but was there ever a history (alleged or documented) of domestic violence between DH and Ex-wife? They might be trying to get you to testify as to whether or not DH has ever vbeen violent with you. I know that sounds shady and awful, but a lot of bitter exes make up stories like that in an effort to keep the child from their other parent.
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Thanks all!
SD would not be traveling alone for several years. That's never been an option. It had been splitting travel costs 50/50, but the new plan states DH pays for all travel expenses for SD and the adult accompanying her (I am not on the approved list of who can accompany SD).
There have not been any allegations or instances of physical violence against anyone. My DH could never raise a hand to anyone. It's not in his nature.
ExW doesn't have an attorney, she's doing all this pro se. IMHO, she's very controlling and upset now that she can't control DH anymore. It's frustrating and stressful to go through. I hope this hearing is the end of some of it, but I know this is going to be dragged out for as long as she can
Why should it be 50/50?
By the time my divorce papers were signed, XH had already moved to CA. I would have never in a million years agreed to a parenting plan that required me to pay for a portion of travel expenses.
Is there something wrong with DH funding transportation costs for his visitation? I'm just wondering what the issue is with the new agreement
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
Thanks again all!
The visitation travel costs are not a big issue. The only reason I brought that up was it is one of the major changes ExW made in the parenting plan. She also removed all of DH's visitation, without her approval. DH flying to GA and getting SD to bring her back to MN is not an issue at all.
ExW made these changes without telling DH. And he was too trusting to not ask what he was signing.
I just don't know why she's dragging me into this. After a 6 hour texting marathon to me, during which I repeatedly asked to be left out of this and let is be between DH and ExW, things got a lot more nasty.
First off, I think BM is off her rocker and I think your DH should stop trusting the woman who is known to be controlling.... If I were you I would get a lawyer, keep all those text messages and have your lawyer bring them up at court. She is an adult and shouldn't be acting like a teenager. What kind of role model is that for SD? I know that this will probably piss people off, but if she won't allow visits then your DH shouldn't have to pay CS... unless he doesn't want any visits... but who is she to state that your DH can't have visits because you moved but wants to demand money... IMO either your DH gets the visits he wants (ie flying the SD to you.. even if it is with someone) or she doesn't get money... she can't get it both ways, she can't be the ONLY parent (by choice) and then demand money too.... either she co-parents with your DH and he pays his share or she is on her own.
Thank you all!
I can't say DH shouldn't support his daughter, he helped make her. It's not fair to her to not support her. DH's ExW is being deliberately difficult, not wanting to shake up her "Perfect Little World", where SD has a new dad. SD had some issues adjusting when ExW took her (with DH's permission).
DH just wants to have a relationship with his DD and I fully support that. Unfortunately, living in different parts of the country makes it challenging, but not difficult if everyone is on board. We just need all the players on the same page. I just don't understand what ExW hopes to gain by dragging me into it. I only want what's best for SD and I can't see her not having a relationship with her Dad being the best for her.